From The New York Times - An excerpt:
NORMALLY, I would have finished this column weeks ago. But I kept putting it off because my New Year’s resolution is to procrastinate more.
I guess I owe you an explanation. Sooner or later.
We think of procrastination as a curse. Over 80 percent of college students are plagued by procrastination, requiring epic all-nighters to finish papers and prepare for tests. Roughly 20 percent of adults report being chronic procrastinators. We can only guess how much higher the estimate would be if more of them got around to filling out the survey.
But while procrastination is a vice for productivity, I’ve learned — against my natural inclinations — that it’s a virtue for creativity.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/17/opinion/sunday/why-i-taught-myself-to-procrastinate.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage®ion=CColumn&module=MostEmailed&version=Full&src=me&WT.nav=MostEmailed
Sunday, January 17, 2016
Help Bill
I like Bill Maher and enjoy his show "Real Time" on HBO. God knows, I don't always agree with him, but there usually is great dialogue and interesting guests going back and forth discussing current events.
He made a request of his audience on his most recent show, asking for help in getting President Obama to go on his program before he leaves office. A petition has been created, and if it generates at least 100,000 votes, the White House will respond.
So, consider helping a brother out.
His pitch is below.
He made a request of his audience on his most recent show, asking for help in getting President Obama to go on his program before he leaves office. A petition has been created, and if it generates at least 100,000 votes, the White House will respond.
So, consider helping a brother out.
His pitch is below.
Good Article. Great Athlete.
From Slate - An excerpt:
“Black athletes could succeed in the white-dominated athletic world,” wrote John M. Carroll in his book about Pollard, “but only if they abided by an unwritten code of conduct both on and off the playing field.”
The code applies to all sports, to varying degrees. You can be black and prideful, but only to the extent that you’re willing to play the heel (Barry Bonds). You can be black and demonstrative, but only to the extent that you’re willing to play the clown (Chad Ochocinco). Your flaws as an athlete are racial traits, and your physical “gifts” are, too, and your success is a matter of how effectively you transcend your brute atavisms and embrace the prevailing “white” idioms of play (Donovan McNabb, Michael Vick, even Michael Jordan). You will be loved if you win often and win quietly and if all the while you hold yourself in such a way that you stand in exquisite contrast to the black athletes who lose too often or win too loudly (Kevin Durant, Joe Louis).
The code asserts itself like this: “Very disingenuous—has a fake smile, comes off as very scripted and has a selfish, me-first makeup.” Nolan Nawrocki’s infamous 2011 scouting report on Newton was no dog whistle. Subtler prose has been written on notes wrapped around bricks. “Always knows where the cameras are and plays to them. Has an enormous ego with a sense of entitlement that continually invites trouble and makes him believe he is above the law—does not command respect from teammates and always will struggle to win a locker room. … Lacks accountability, focus and trustworthiness—is not punctual, seeks shortcuts and sets a bad example. Immature and has had issues with authority. Not dependable.”
And it works like this: In a November game in Nashville, Tennessee, Newton salted away the Titans with a late touchdown on one of those trademark quarterback keepers wherein he seems not so much to run but to roll downhill, waving the football in one big hand the way Walter Payton used to. He celebrated by dancing in the end zone, prompting one “Tennessee mom” who’d attended with her 9-year-old daughter to write an oh-my-stars-and-garters letter to the Charlotte Observer. “Because of where we sat, we had a close up view of your conduct in the fourth quarter. The chest puffs. The pelvic thrusts. The arrogant struts and the ‘in your face’ taunting of both the Titans’ players and fans. We saw it all.” The letter continues:
My daughter … started asking questions. Won’t he get in trouble for doing that? Is he trying to make people mad? Do you think he knows he looks like a spoiled brat?
I didn’t have great answers for her, and honestly, in an effort to minimize your negative impact and what was otherwise a really fun day, I redirected her attention to the cheerleaders and mascot.
It would be hard to argue that the Tennessee mom captured the national mood. She came off more like a holdout in a culture war long since ended, an old soldier bustling out of a cave with fixed bayonet, blinking in a new day’s sun. So many people rushed to Newton’s defense that it became clear the whole second-act-of-Footloose argument over ecstatic celebration in sports had already been won, and that the scowling tight-asses had assumed the minority position. (Newton’s backup, a white guy named Derek Anderson, called the letter “flat-out racist.”)
After Newton’s gentle response to the note—he has a singular talent for retail politics—the Tennessee mom rowed back her initial sentiment. In an email to the Charlotte Observer’s Jonathan Jones, she wrote: “I am sorry I didn’t understand him better until this week. It is clear from his remarks that he recognizes his leadership role, both on and off the field, and that he truly cares about the kids watching him. I respect his comments just as much as he did mine, and I wish him nothing but continued success on the field and in life.” (Here we note that the Tennessee mom, a woman named Rosemary Plorin, is employed in the field of crisis communications.)
Nothing seems to stick—not for long, anyway. The code is typically never more austere than when applied to black quarterbacks, a signal-caller being the emissary of his coach’s will. But Newton keeps moving the chains.
http://www.slate.com/articles/sports/sports_nut/2016/01/cam_newton_of_the_carolina_panthers_has_stretched_the_sports_world_s_racial.html
Saturday, January 16, 2016
Got a Traffic Ticket? This App Can Help
From 2 Paragraphs -
Fixed App Founder, The Traffic Ticket Fixer, Goes On Shark Tank
Dave Hegarty of San Francisco is the entrepreneur behind the app Fixed. A user submits a photo of her parking or speeding ticket, answers just two questions about her driving history and then hits send. A Fixed agent will review the submission and then connect the user to a lawyer in the Fixed network. In California, a user can hire a Fixed network attorney for as little as $150. No court appearance is required. Fixed claims a 90% success rate for point removal. And Fixed is expanding, despite facing some resistance from municipalities that don't see it as helpful. It handles parking tickets (where still permitted) and all other types of traffic violations.
https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/fixed-get-your-speeding-red/id817194671?mt=8
http://2paragraphs.com/2016/01/fixed-app-founder-the-traffic-ticket-fixer-goes-on-shark-tank/
Tuesday, January 12, 2016
When Whites Adopt Black Kids
From The Huffington Post -
Adoption, regardless of racial dynamics, requires a level of patience, love and empathy, but a white person choosing to adopt a black child must first be willing to confront the passive racist views all white people hold, subconsciously or not. Going in with the mindset that this black child is no different from any other child is a naiveté the adoptive parent cannot afford, and for which the adopted child will pay. The desire to love a black child must be matched by the willingness to learn and accept the unique needs of blackness and black childhood.
"Going in with the mindset that this black child is no different from any other child is a naiveté the adoptive parent cannot afford..."
A white parent adopting a black child must first understand that no matter how much they'd like to believe that race is not real or pretend they don't see color, that black child is dealing with the very real social ramifications of his race and color. That parent needs to recognize that the needs of that black child are different emotionally, socially, mentally and physically. That parent needs to be committed to the Herculean task of making their home, with all the subconscious subtle hostilities learned through decades of an inevitable socialization of suspicion, a space where that black child feels free from the ever-looming burden of racism.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/la-sha/what-white-parents-adopting-black-children_b_8951402.html
Worth Reading
From The New Yorker - An excerpt:
My Last Day as a Surgeon
BY PAUL KALANITHI
In May of 2013, the Stanford University neurosurgical resident Paul Kalanithi was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic lung cancer. He was thirty-six years old. In his two remaining years—he died in March of 2015—he continued his medical training, became the father to a baby girl, and wrote beautifully about his experience facing mortality as a doctor and a patient. In this excerpt from his posthumously published memoir, “When Breath Becomes Air,” which is out on January 12th, from Random House, Kalanithi writes about his last day practicing medicine.
http://www.newyorker.com/books/page-turner/my-last-day-as-a-surgeon?mbid=nl_160112_Daily&CNDID=27124505&spMailingID=8425770&spUserID=MTE0Mjg5NDEzNjM4S0&spJobID=841344950&spReportId=ODQxMzQ0OTUwS0
Lying For a Living
From The Atlantic - An Excerpt:
Can You Spot a Liar?
Probably not. But here are some techniques grifters use, courtesy of Maria Konnikova and her new book about con artists.
In November, I came across a story that made absolutely no sense to me. A 33-year-old consultant named Niall Rice gave $718,000, little by little, to two Manhattan psychics who promised to reunite him with an old flame. How could someone be so gullible? Rice himself didn’t even seem to know: “I just got sucked in,” he told The New York Times later.
As it turns out, it’s much easier to fall for these types of cons than many people think. As Maria Konnikova, a psychologist and New Yorker contributor, explains in her new book, The Confidence Game, grifters manipulate human emotions in genius (and evil) ways, striking right when we feel lovelorn or otherwise emotionally vulnerable. I recently spoke with Konnikova about cons, why they happen, and if there’s any way to avoid becoming a fraudster’s next target. A lightly edited version of our conversation follows.
Khazan: You have so many great examples of cons in your book. Which one was the most remarkable to you?
Konnikova: I have too many favorites to choose. The one that really, I think, piqued my interest the most, which is why I explore it throughout the book, is the case I open the book with, of Ferdinand Waldo Demara. The fact that not only was he able to take on so many different guises, including as a surgeon—I mean that’s crazy, that he was able to fool the Navy into giving him an entire ship full of people. But, the fact that he was successful, that he actually performed surgery, so he was able to bluster his way through it, which is kind of remarkable if you think about it. That someone who didn't even graduate from high school was able to do this. And I also thought it was really interesting that so much of his life isn't known or at least, wasn't known to the public, because he has a really dark side and he's actually kind of a nasty person, but all of that got lost because his biographer was also conned by him, which is kind of incredible.
http://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2016/01/can-you-spot-a-liar/423588/?utm_source=atl-daily-newsletter
Gratitude = Good For Your Health
From NYMag - An excerpt:
How Expressing Gratitude Might Change Your Brain
A lot of so-called “positive psychology” can seem a bit flaky, especially if you’re the sort of person disinclined to respond well to an admonition to “look on the bright side.” But positive psychologists have published some interesting findings, and one of the more robust ones is that feeling grateful is very good for you. Time and again, studies have shown that performing simple gratitude exercises, like keeping a gratitude diary or writing letters of thanks, can bring a range of benefits, such as feelings of increased well-being and reduced depression, that often linger well after the exercises are finished.
Now a brain-scanning study in NeuroImage brings us a little closer to understanding why these exercises have these effects. The results suggest that even months after a simple, short gratitude writing task, people’s brains are still wired to feel extra thankful. The implication is that gratitude tasks work, at least in part, because they have a self-perpetuating nature: The more you practice gratitude, the more attuned you are to it and the more you can enjoy its psychological benefits.
http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/01/how-expressing-gratitude-change-your-brain.html
Note to Self
From NYMag -
A Neuroscientist on the Calming Powers of the To-Do List
By Tanya Basu
There are two kinds of people in the world:
1. Those who make lists.
2. Those who don’t.
And, as one scientist recently argued, those who fall into the former group might hold the secret to being more productive individuals. On this week’s episode of WNYC’s tech podcast Note to Self, host Manoush Zomorodi interviews McGill University neuroscience professor Daniel Levitin about how to get a more organized brain. Levitin’s very old-fashioned tip? Make lists.
As Levitin, who wrote the 2014 book The Organized Mind, further explained to Zomorodi:
I think this is really important, that you write down all the things that you have to do, clear it out of your head so that you’re not using neuro resources with that little voice reminding you to pick up milk on the way home and to check to see if you paid the utility bill and that you have to call back Aunt Tilly because she left a voicemail and she’s going to worry and all this chatter – get it out of your head, write it down, then prioritize things.
Here’s why: Most people can only hold about four things in their mind at a time, Levitin said. (And, let’s be real, you probably have way more than four things to do today.) List-making takes that mental juggling out of the picture: You don’t think about what you have to do, and you’re not distracted (at least not as much) since it’s written down in front of your face, which allows you to become immersed in whatever activity it is that you’re tackling, whether it’s picking up kitty litter or planning a presentation.
Something as simple as putting pen to paper and taking the extra few minutes to plan out your day puts you at ease and lets you complete goals without wasting time trying to figure out what is the next most important thing to tackle. And that, Levitin says, is the core reason why lists are so great: They let you move from one task to another without wasting time, making you the ultimate productivity ninja. Just don’t forget to do the most unpleasant (but most important) task on your list first.
http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/01/neuroscientist-really-wants-you-to-make-lists.html#
A Neuroscientist on the Calming Powers of the To-Do List
By Tanya Basu
There are two kinds of people in the world:
1. Those who make lists.
2. Those who don’t.
And, as one scientist recently argued, those who fall into the former group might hold the secret to being more productive individuals. On this week’s episode of WNYC’s tech podcast Note to Self, host Manoush Zomorodi interviews McGill University neuroscience professor Daniel Levitin about how to get a more organized brain. Levitin’s very old-fashioned tip? Make lists.
As Levitin, who wrote the 2014 book The Organized Mind, further explained to Zomorodi:
I think this is really important, that you write down all the things that you have to do, clear it out of your head so that you’re not using neuro resources with that little voice reminding you to pick up milk on the way home and to check to see if you paid the utility bill and that you have to call back Aunt Tilly because she left a voicemail and she’s going to worry and all this chatter – get it out of your head, write it down, then prioritize things.
Here’s why: Most people can only hold about four things in their mind at a time, Levitin said. (And, let’s be real, you probably have way more than four things to do today.) List-making takes that mental juggling out of the picture: You don’t think about what you have to do, and you’re not distracted (at least not as much) since it’s written down in front of your face, which allows you to become immersed in whatever activity it is that you’re tackling, whether it’s picking up kitty litter or planning a presentation.
Something as simple as putting pen to paper and taking the extra few minutes to plan out your day puts you at ease and lets you complete goals without wasting time trying to figure out what is the next most important thing to tackle. And that, Levitin says, is the core reason why lists are so great: They let you move from one task to another without wasting time, making you the ultimate productivity ninja. Just don’t forget to do the most unpleasant (but most important) task on your list first.
http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2016/01/neuroscientist-really-wants-you-to-make-lists.html#
Be Kind to the Old Folks in Your World
From Lifehack -
An 80 year old man was sitting on the sofa in his house along with his 45 years old highly educated son. Suddenly a crow perched on their window.
The Father asked his Son, “What is this?” The Son replied “It is a crow”.
After a few minutes, the Father asked his Son the 2nd time, “What is this?” The Son said “Father, I have just now told you “It’s a crow”.
After a little while, the old Father again asked his Son the 3rd time, What is this?”
At this time some expression of irritation was felt in the Son’s tone when he said to his Father with a rebuff. “It’s a crow, a crow”.A little after, the Father again asked his Son the 4th time, “What is this?”
This time the Son shouted at his Father, “Why do you keep asking me the same question again and again, although I have told you so many times ‘IT IS A CROW’. Are you not able to understand this?”
A little later the Father went to his room and came back with an old tattered diary, which he had maintained since his Son was born.
On opening a page, he asked his Son to read that page.
When the son read it, the following words were written in the diary :
“Today my little son aged three was sitting with me on the sofa, when a crow was sitting on the window. My Son asked me 23 times what it was, and I replied to him all 23 times that it was a Crow. I hugged him lovingly each time he asked me the same question again and again for 23 times. I did not at all feel irritated I rather felt affection for my innocent child”. While the little child asked him 23 times “What is this”, the Father had felt no irritation in replying to the same question all 23 times and when today the Father asked his Son the same question just 4 times, the Son felt irritated and annoyed. So.. If your parents attain old age, do not repulse them or look at them as a burden, but speak to them a gracious word, be cool, obedient, humble and kind to them. Be considerate to your parents.From today say this aloud, “I want to see my parents happy forever. They have cared for me ever since I was a little child. They have always showered their selfless love on me. They crossed all mountains and valleys without seeing the storm and heat to make me a person presentable in the society today”. Say a prayer to God, “I will serve my old parents in the BEST way.
I will say all good and kind words to my dear parents, no matter how they behave.
http://www.lifehack.org/356816/respect-your-parents-their-old-age-because?mid=20160112&ref=mail&uid=789627&feq=daily
Quote
"Sometimes you will never know the true value of a moment until it becomes a memory."
- Iman, David Bowie's widow
- Iman, David Bowie's widow
Ben & Frankie - Aren't You Proud of Yo Momma?
Look at me . . . promoting something good for the environment.
And you guys thought I didn't care!
And you guys thought I didn't care!
A Hard Lesson
From The Washington Post - An excerpt:
I taught my black kids that their elite upbringing would protect them from discrimination. I was wrong.
Lawrence Otis Graham is an attorney in New York and the author of 14 books, including “Our Kind of People” and “The Senator and The Socialite.”
~~~~~~~~~~
I knew the day would come, but I didn’t know how it would happen, where I would be, or how I would respond. It is the moment that every black parent fears: the day their child is called a nigger.
My wife and I, both African Americans, constitute one of those Type A couples with Ivy League undergraduate and graduate degrees who, for many years, believed that if we worked hard and maintained great jobs, we could insulate our children from the blatant manifestations of bigotry that we experienced as children in the 1960s and ’70s.
We divided our lives between a house in a liberal New York suburb and an apartment on Park Avenue, sent our three kids to a diverse New York City private school, and outfitted them with the accoutrements of success: preppy clothes, perfect diction and that air of quiet graciousness. We convinced ourselves that the economic privilege we bestowed on them could buffer these adolescents against what so many black and Latino children face while living in mostly white settings: being profiled by neighbors, followed in stores and stopped by police simply because their race makes them suspect.
But it happened nevertheless in July, when I was 100 miles away.
It was a Tuesday afternoon when my 15-year-old son called from his academic summer program at a leafy New England boarding school and told me that as he was walking across campus, a gray Acura with a broken rear taillight pulled up beside him. Two men leaned out of the car and glared at him.
“Are you the only nigger at Mellon Academy*?” one shouted.
Certain that he had not heard them correctly, my son moved closer to the curb, and asked politely, “I’m sorry; I didn’t hear you.”
But he had heard correctly. And this time the man spoke more clearly. “Only … nigger,” he said with added emphasis.
My son froze. He dropped his backpack in alarm and stepped back from the idling car. The men honked the horn loudly and drove off, their laughter echoing behind them.
By the time he recounted his experience a few minutes later, my son was back in his dorm room, ensconced on the third floor of a red-brick fortress. He tried to grasp the meaning of the story as he told it: why the men chose to stop him, why they did it in broad daylight, why they were so calm and deliberate. “Why would they do that — to me?” he whispered breathlessly into the phone. “Dad, they don’t know me. And they weren’t acting drunk. It’s just 3:30 in the afternoon. They could see me, and I could see them!”
My son rambled on, describing the car and the men, asking questions that I couldn’t completely answer. One very clear and cogent query was why, in Connecticut in 2014, grown men would target a student who wasn’t bothering them to harass in broad daylight. The men intended to be menacing. “They got so close — like they were trying to ask directions. … They were definitely trying to scare me,” he said.
“Are you okay?” I interrupted. “Are you —”
“Yeah,” he continued anxiously. “I’m okay. I guess. … Do you think they saw which dorm I went back to? Maybe I shouldn’t have told my roommate. Should I stay in my dorm and not go to the library tonight?”
Despite his reluctance, I insisted that he report the incident to the school. His chief concern was not wanting the white students and administrators to think of him as being special, different, or “racial.” That was his word. “If the other kids around here find out that I was called a nigger, and that I complained about it,” my son pleaded, “then they will call me ‘racial,’ and will be thinking about race every time they see me. I can’t have that.” For the next four weeks of the summer program, my son remained leery of cars that slowed in his proximity (he’s still leery today). He avoided sidewalks, choosing instead to walk on campus lawns. And he worried continually about being perceived as racially odd or different.
There's more -
https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/11/06/i-taught-my-black-kids-that-their-elite-upbringing-would-protect-them-from-discrimination-i-was-wrong/
H/T - Forrest
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Black Student Athletes = Slave Laborers
From The Washington Post - An excerpt (bold is mine):
College sports exploits unpaid black athletes. But they could force a change.
Disproportionately black football and basketball players are making disproportionately white administrators and coaches rich.
Donald H. Yee is a lawyer and partner with Yee & Dubin Sports, which represents professional athletes and coaches, including New England Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and New Orleans Saints head coach Sean Payton.
~~~~~~~~~~
On Monday night, college football will crown a new champion. In the process, a lot of money will be made.
No matter who wins, the University of Alabama’s Southeastern Conference and Clemson University’s Atlantic Coast Conference will be paid $6 million each. So will the conferences of the schools those teams beat to make it to the final. The organization that runs the playoff, a Delaware-headquartered corporation that’s separate from the NCAA, takes in about $470 million each year from ESPN. Clemson coach Dabo Swinney made $3.3 million last year and, as The Washington Post recently reported, his chief of staff makes $252,000; Alabama’s Nick Saban, the highest-paid coach in college football, made slightly more than $7 million, and the team’s strength and conditioning coach makes $600,000.
Some of the players are future NFL stars who will probably be rich one day, too: Alabama is led by Heisman Trophy-winning running back Derrick Henry, who set a SEC record for rushing yards and rushing touchdowns in a season. Clemson features gifted quarterback Deshaun Watson, also a Heisman finalist, and running back sensation Wayne Gallman.
The NCAA, though, insists that all of its players are student-athletes motivated only by love of the game and of their alma maters. So on Monday, they’ll be working for free. Most fans of college football and basketball go along with the pretense, looking past the fact that the NCAA makes nearly $1 billion a year from unpaid labor.
But after a year when Black Lives Matter protests spread across the country, and at the end of a season when the football team at the University of Missouri helped force the resignation of the school’s top two administrators over how the campus handled race-related incidents, we need to stop ignoring the racial implications of the NCAA’s hypocrisy.
After all, who is actually earning the billions of dollars flooding universities, athletic conferences, TV networks and their sponsors? To a large extent, it’s young black men, who are heavily overrepresented in football and men’s basketball, the two sports that bring in virtually all the revenue in college athletics. A 2013 study by the University of Pennsylvania’s Center for the Study of Race and Equity in Education found that 57 percent of the football players and 64 percent of the men’s basketball players in the six biggest conferences were black; at the same schools, black men made up less than 3 percent of the overall student population. (In recent NFL drafts, five times as many black players were taken in the first two rounds, where the perceived best players are picked, as white players.) Athletics administrators and coaches, meanwhile, are overwhelmingly white.
So by refusing to pay athletes, the NCAA isn’t just perpetuating a financial injustice. It’s also committing a racial one.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2016/01/08/college-sports-exploits-unpaid-black-athletes-but-they-could-force-a-change/?wpisrc=nl_rainbow
Friday, January 8, 2016
Blog Love
To the White Parents of my Black Son’s Friends
December 29, 2015 |
I’ve been wrestling with talking to you about some things I think you need to know. I’ve wrestled with it because I feel my own sense of shame– shame that I didn’t know or understand these issues before they touched my family. I’ve felt fear that you’ll respond in subtle ways that make it clear you aren’t safe for my child. I’ve been concerned that you won’t believe me and then I’ll feel more angry than if I hadn’t said anything. But my son is getting older and as he transitions from an adorable black boy to a strong black man, I know the assumptions about him will change. And I need your help in keeping him safe.
We talk to our son about safety issues. We talk to him about being respectful of police (and anyone in authority), about keeping his hands where they are visible, about not wearing his hood up over his face or sneaking through the neighbor’s backyard during hide-and-seek or when taking a shortcut home from school. We are doing what we can to find this bizarre balance of helping him be proud of who he is and helping him understand that not everybody is going to see him the way we see him. Some people are going to see him as a “thug” before they ever know his name, his story, his gifts and talents.
But here’s the thing– as much as we can try to protect him and teach him to protect himself, there may come a time when your child will be involved. As the parents of the white friend of my black son, I need you to be talking to your child about racism. I need you to be talking about the assumptions other people might make about my son. I need you to talk to your child about what they would do if they saw injustice happening.
I know that in a white family it is easy to use words like “colorblind” and feel like we’re enlightened and progressive. But if you teach your kids to be colorblind, they may not understand the uniquely dangerous situations my child can find himself in. If you tell your kids racism happened a long time ago and now it’s over and use my family as an example of how whites and blacks and browns can all get along together, you are not doing me any favors. Just because you haven’t seen obvious examples of racism in your own life doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist.
It is easy to think we live in a colorblind society when you don’t know that two weeks ago I was on the phone with the principal at my son’s school to discuss the racial insults he was regularly receiving from the student sitting next to him. I was thankful for how seriously the school handled that incident and we consider it a huge victory that my son felt safe telling his parents and teacher how he was being teased since many kids don’t. It is easy to think we live in a post racial society when you don’t know that a neighbor of mine called the Child Protective Services hotline to complain about my kids behaving in the exact same ways as the ten other white neighbor children they regularly play with behave (playing in the “street”– we live on a cul-de-sac–, playing in our front yard without shoes, asking for snacks from the neighbor parents- these are the actual complaints that were made). I don’t want to begin to tell you the trauma it is to former foster kids when a social worker shows up at your house to interview them and I’m afraid I haven’t yet forgiven our neighbor for bringing that on our family (although it was quickly determined to be a ridiculous complaint and there was no further action taken). The thing is, I doubt that neighbor even thinks of himself as racist, but the fact that when the white kids of the neighborhood do it it’s “kids being kids”, but when the kids of color are involved it’s got to be addressed by authorities shows the underlying bias of his assumptions. This isn’t “concern”, this is harassment.
So white parents, please talk to your kids about racism. If they see my son being bullied or called racist names, they need to stand with him. They need to understand how threatening that is and not just something to be laughed off. If your child is with my child playing soccer at the park and the police drive by, tell your child to stay. Just stay right there with my son. Be a witness. In that situation, be extra polite, extra respectful. Don’t run and don’t leave my son by himself. If you are with my son, this is not the time to try out any new risky behaviors. Whatever trouble you get into, he will likely not be judged by the same standard you are. Be understanding that he can’t make the same mistakes you can.
White parents, treat my son with respect. Don’t rub his head because you want to know what his hair feels like. Don’t speak black slang to him because you think it would be funny. If you’re thinking about making a joke that you feel might be slightly questionable, just don’t do it. Ever. Your kids are listening and learning from you even in the jokes you tell. Be conscious of what media messages your kids are getting about race. Engage in tough conversations about what you’re hearing in the news. Don’t shy away from this just because you can. He can’t. We can’t.
Be an advocate for this beautiful soul who has eaten at your kitchen table, sat next to your son at church, been at your child’s birthday party. He is not the exception to the rule. He is not protected by my white privilege for the rest of his life. He is not inherently different from any other little black boy and ALL their lives have value and worth and were created by God. I have hope that when white parents start talking about these issues with our white kids, maybe that’s where change starts.
Frozen Dead Guy | 100 Wonders | Atlas Obscura
http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/100-wonders-a-visit-with-a-frozen-dead-guy?utm_source=Atlas+Obscura&utm_campaign=1f6745c60b-Newsletter_1_8_20161_7_2016&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_62ba9246c0-1f6745c60b-59905913&ct=t(Newsletter_1_8_20161_7_2016)&mc_cid=1f6745c60b&mc_eid=866176a63f
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)