Really?

Some fascinating science facts are linked below.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/28/science-facts_n_4344759.html?utm_hp_ref=science

I'm always amazed at the things I don't see.  Everyday things I miss.  This guy explains why, simple enough for me to get it.  It's worth a look, too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jon-hotchkiss/be-less-stupid_b_4340736.html

Holiday Weekend

There are celebrations all around.

Of course, this is Thanksgiving weekend with the traditional feasts and the crazy shopping in the US.

This is also the anniversary of this country.  The UAE is 42 years old on Dec. 2nd.

Plus, Dubai was just awarded the 2020 Expo, and a special decree declared a day off for all schools, so we had a bonus for all of us from the US, Thanksgiving Day off.  It's a long weekend of partying for many.

Things are quiet in my neck of the woods, which I'm thoroughly enjoying after the weeks of moving. In fact, I planned a trip for this weekend, but the folks I was using to book the trip seemed a little shady, so I canceled.  I'm so glad I did.  I'll have three weeks off for the winter break, so there's plenty of time to explore.

Now back to my recurring theme -

For those of you tired of reading about forgiveness, stop now.

The holidays are a time for family get-togethers that can be wonderful, but sometimes, oh so stressful.

As much as well love our relatives, many times, the quicker the visits the better.

Remember it's better to let "stuff" roll off your back, and move on, instead of adding the latest incident to your list of things you're holding on to.

I speak from way too much experience when I say I understand because I was a master at keeping grudges and setting people straight.

I was 55 before I got it.  Don't be like me and waste all that time thinking ill will about someone or seeing how long you can keep this nonsense up.

Let it go.

Even if it means they "win."

Really, the one winning is you because you've taken the steps to make it right by being the bigger person.

Let it go.

I know I harp on this a lot, but I understand the damage it can do to yourself . . . your mental health, your physical health and your relationship with others.

It's not worth.

Really it isn't.

So . . .

Let it go.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'll end this with a declaration of things I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for health and peace of mind.

I'm thankful for my amazing family and my incredible friends.

I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned and the wisdom gained.

I'm thankful for the people that come across my path, knowing now that they were/are there for a reason.

And, as always . . .

I'm thankful for you, for taking this journey with me.

You see, this has been and continues to be, so much more than living abroad and visiting new places.  It's about growing up and recognizing that the world is so much bigger than we can imagine, but also realizing people are people, no matter where they're from or what they do.  It is recognizing the part you play in the lives of others. It's about growing and stretching, not only as you explore new things, people and territories, but it's about stretching your mind, and allowing yourself to see the world from a different perspective. It really is about growing up.

Thanks for growing with me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

What a Week!

My apologies for the many days since my last post.

Two things happened in my absence from blogging - I celebrated my two year anniversary here, and I moved.

Yes . . . I moved from Al Ain to Al Sila (Abu Dhabi), about 4.5 hours away.

It's a given that moving can be challenging, but I was a lot more organized this time, so the process went a lot better.

I'm less than ten miles to the Saudi Arabia border.  More on that in a minute.

I swore the last time I moved, from Sacramento, that I would always remember the pain it was, and live lightly.

Well, it worked in theory, but I still ended up moving a truck load of stuff.

And . . . the day my things were moved, we experienced a torrential rainstorm.  The folks hadn't seen anything like this in over thirty years!  Thankfully, although most of my things got wet, the only thing damaged were two pillows, which I gladly chucked.

There is no doubt, I'm really in the desert now.  There is sand, sand, and more sand between Al Sila and Al Ain or Abu Dhabi.  I'll be about three hours from Abu Dhabi, and about four from Dubai.  I requested a transfer last year, letting the powers that be know that I didn't have a preference and would be willing to go anywhere, well "anywhere" is where I got.  This is a region that they have a hard time filling positions because it's so remote.  Typically the teachers hired are young city folks, who kick and scream about being sent here.  Teachers with families are not even considered. I don't mind the isolation, and as long as I have Internet service, I'm good to go.

So, my new adventure begins.

Now about Saudi Arabia.

This is a very insulated country.  Only Muslims are allowed to enter freely.  Everyone else goes through a rigorous visa/entry process.  As a single woman, I am not allowed entry, unless I'm traveling with a male family member and I would have to be sponsored by a Saudi male.  When I found out Ben would be working in Saudi for a week, the original plan was for me to meet him there.  Little did we know at the time that it wasn't in the realm of possibilities.

I'm closer to Qatar, and it's major city, Doha, and flying out of there would be more convenient, but in order to get to Qatar, you have to go through Saudi Arabia, so that's a no go.

Interestingly, the UAE recognizes the many benefits of welcoming the world to its doorstep, and are doing everything they can to encourage more visitors, from even more places.

Saudi Arabia, not so much.

They represent two very difference schools of thought about where they are as countries and where they see themselves in the future.

I'm spending my last night in a hotel in Al Ain.  I'm planning to get an early start tomorrow heading west.

I'll have Internet service tomorrow night, so I hope to be back in the business of writing every day or so.

For those of you still on this journey with me, thank you.

It continues to be one heck of a ride.

Ben & I in Dubai

 On Friday, Ben was in Dubai.  He had been working in Saudi Arabia for a week, and was able to get a layover in Dubai on his way back home.

What an incredible treat this was!

He got to see some of the places that make the UAE a fascinating place to see and experience.

First stop, the Mall of the Emirates, home to the indoor sky slopes.

Ben in front of the slopes

View of the mall

View of the ski slopes inside the mall

Next stop, the Big Bus Tour of the city.

Big Bus passing by Burj Arab

View of Atlantis Hotel
It sits at the top of the manmade palm tree.

This is the manmade palm tree.
It is so big, you don't realize you're on it until you get to the Atlantis.
The branches are filled with high-rise luxury condos.

Burj Khalifa - the tallest building in the world

There was still quite a bit of daylight when we finished the Big Bus Tour, so we headed to Abu Dhabi (about an hour away) to see a couple of things.

Here we are in front of Emirates Palace

Wide view of the palace

Wow!

The back opens to the water.

Ben is facing the palace.
New building construction is behind him.

We went inside the palace for a quick drink of coffee and tea.
This cappuccino is topped with edible gold flakes!

Should I drink it or scrape off the gold first?

Final stop, Sheikh Zayed Mosque, also known as the Grand Mosque.

Ben at the Grand Mosque

In the shadows at the Grand Mosque

 

Wide view of the Grand Mosque

This colonnade surrounds the Grand Mosque

I hope that you can see from the pictures what a spectacular day we had.

Thanks Ben!

Rest in Peace

Several days ago I heard about the death of a dear friend.  I sat down and wrote a post about her, had a glitch in my computer, rebooted, and lost it.

I'm of the mind that everything happens for a reason, so maybe the tribute post wasn't what it needed to be, so I will try again.  My second effort is below.

Michelle Karns was one of the smartest people I know.  She was an educational consultant who worked for, and had contracts with, schools and school districts all over the United States.

She was also a grant writer with an incredible success rate in getting grants funded.

One of the districts Michelle worked for was Sacramento City Unified School District, and specifically, my school, to help turn it around.  We were traditionally low performing.  One of the biggest issues facing us was our leadership turnaround.  We had four principals in five years.  It's hard to move forward with that kind of revolving door.

Michelle worked very closely with principal number four, who had the longest tenure of two years. Their partnership was successful, and lead to a wonderful lifelong friendship.

Michelle was also a great motivational speaker and was hired to give keynote addresses at districtwide events far and wide.  I had the pleasure of accompanying her to one in Southern California.  She had that room, filled with thousands of people, mesmerized.  She was in her element.

Michelle hired me to go on school visits with her.  She needed a second eye to confirm what she was seeing.  This was my first time walking into a school with a critical eye, looking for what was working and not working.  It was an effective precursor to my later work as a site administrator.

Health issues slowed her down.  This decline progressed to where she was confined to a wheelchair.  However, even with those limitations, she continued to work.

During my first year as principal, Michelle had a longterm hospital stay.  I would stop by to see her on my way home from work.  When my Mom was hospitalized for months, neighbors and friends would check up on her, which my brothers and I greatly appreciated because we lived so far away.  So in a small way, stopping to see Michelle was my way of paying it forward.

Many times conversations with Michelle were monologues.  She was great talking to the masses, but wasn't as comfortable one-on-one.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention her generosity.  Michelle was an author of several books and had tons of resources, many of them created by her, that she shared liberally.  She had an incredibly giving spirit.

This doesn't begin to encapsulate all who Michelle was, and all the wonderful things she did, but I hope it gives an idea of the positive impact she had on my life, and the lives of so many others.

Rest in peace, my friend.

And the Saga Continues . . .

In Richard Cohen's much talked about Washington Post column entitled, "Christie's Tea-Party Problem," he really stepped in it when wrote the following:

People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Italics mine)

Good Lord.

The complete piece is below.  Check out the whole thing.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/richard-cohen-christies-tea-party-problem/2013/11/11/a1ffaa9c-4b05-11e3-ac54-aa84301ced81_story.html

Here are some unsolicited suggestions for Mr. Cohen:

1)  Carry a bucket around with you everywhere you go cause you're going to be gagging and upchucking a lot.  In fact, you might want to invest in puke buckets and sell them at Tea Party rallies.

2)  Take a pass on writing anything referring to race (or interracial marriage, slavery, rape, sexuality, etc.) in America.  Share the love and let someone else have a turn.  You will save yourself a lot of grief.

You see, if this was a one time thing, it would be easily forgiven and quickly forgotten.  Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Here's a hat tip to Matt Connolly, who did a terrific job of highlighting some of your more questionable columns below.

http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2013/11/richard-cohen-just-the-worst

To be fair, you explained in the "Christie's Tea-Party Problem," that you were describing the Tea Party folks, not expressing your personal opinion.  Somehow though, there did not appear to be a distinction between your thoughts and theirs.

And therein lies the problem.

Maybe, just maybe, your thoughts and ideas, like theirs, are a tad antiquated.  Maybe you've been sequestered away and didn't realize the world was changing all around you.  And on those rare occasions when you have arisen from your self-imposed hibernation and wrote about the things you saw and experienced, it's only served to reveal how lost, and behind the times you really are.

So, what to do?

Continue writing and continue offending.

Or,

Escape from your bubble and be enlightened.

Old dogs can learn new tricks.

Even you.

A Very Special TED Talk

You know how much I like the TED Talks.  Well, that admiration was taken to a whole new level when I found out that Frankie's wife, Cara, had recorded one.

How cool is that?

It took some convincing to get her permission to post it, but I'm so glad she did.

She is the second speaker.

Bonus:  At the 11:40 mark, there's a picture of Zadie examining some veggies.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwX7edOicGM&feature=youtu.be

If you have trouble with this link, Google

"Farms could cover the city: Anastasia Cole Plakias and Cara Chard" at TEDxLongIslandCity.

Moms

For several days now, I've been thinking about my Mom, wishing that she was still around to chat with.

If your Mom is still with you, call her.

This is not about laying guilt on you, it's about reminding you how blessed you are that you can still pick up the phone and make that call.

This is not about Ben and Frankie either.  I'm grateful that I hear from them often.

It's about you.

I realize that sometimes Moms can be . . .

Overbearing,

Nosey,

Nagging,

And

An absolute pain in the neck.

But no matter what, she's your Mom.

She loves you.

So . . .

Make her day.

Give her a call.

If you already call regularly, surprise her with a card, an email, or a visit.

Let her know how much you love and appreciate her.

Mothers are givers.

It's in our nature.

For years and years, we just give and give.

Sometimes kids have to be reminded to turn the tables and give back to them.

Believe me, they're not looking for much.

All they want to know is, that you're OK.

All they want to know is, that they've raised kids that can take their place in society.

All they want to know is, that you've learned how to love.

So . . .

Stop reading.

And,

If you can,

Call your Mom.

Errors

My apologies to those who get this via email.  Once I click publish, its a done deal, going directly to you, errors and all.

Yes, I proofread, again and again, but . . .

Anyway,

For everyone else, you get the cleaned up version, where I've edited after publishing. That's assuming of course, that I can see the errors, and make the corrections.

Anyway, sorry for the screw ups.

UCLA's Diversity Problem

This video was heart wrenching.

Here you have a group of students pointing out, quite eloquently I might add, the incredibly low number of African-American male students enrolled at UCLA.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/08/ucla-black-enrollment-freshmen_n_4242213.html

The ban on Affirmative Action in college and university admissions has resulted in a marked decrease in the number of Black and Hispanic students in these institutions. Check out the article below for some more scary statistics.

http://www.psmag.com/education/affirmative-action-bans-who-gets-hurt-26955/

The whole Affirmative Action argument to ban it's use in admissions is crazy to me.

It's not for admitting students who are not qualified, but it is for broadening the scope of the criteria used when admitting students, understanding that the kids of color have, more often than not, taken different paths to reach their goals.

It is also understanding that skewed admissions have been on the books forever. Think about the students of heavy donors or legacies.  They absolutely get preferential treatment.  I'm not saying deny these folks, but understand the playing field is not, and chances are, never will be, level for them.  They will always have the upper hand.  Is anyone protesting that?  Should we?

This whole Tea Party movement came about because of some folks declaring they "want to take their country back."  Back from what or from whom?  We are a nation of immigrants, mostly voluntary, but for that select group of us with brown skin, we had the misfortune of being forcibly brought over to build this great land.

Oh, but how soon we forget.

We forget the 200 plus years of slavery.

There are those that say the debt has been paid.  We must move on.

Yes, we must move on, but the ripple effect of slavery lives on, and we are foolish to think otherwise.

Using Affirmation Action in the admission process seems to be (or have been) a small price to pay for the atrocities leveled for having the misfortune of being born with brown skin.

I thank God for my brown skin, but we must always remember the heavy burden that has been paid because of it.

Kindness in Action

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this one is worth a thousand times more.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/06/sleeping-stranger-subway-picture_n_4228826.html

This man didn't hesitate to let this young man nod off on his shoulder.

I wonder . . .  would I have let him sleep?

Would you?

Champ in Dubai

Mike Tyson is in Dubai for his one man show, and visited a school for autistic kids.  See the article below.

http://www.thenational.ae/uae/health/dubai-pupils-smelt-iron-mikes-heart

Mike is a very interesting character.

Any man or woman who gets in the ring to beat the daylights out of their opponents takes some serious cojones, and he was one of the best at what he did.

But he's a man of contrasts.

One the one hand, he exhibited brute force in the ring, but is soft spoken.

He's explosive, but he's also kind-hearted.

I suppose any one of us could be described this way, highlighting our contradictions, but everything about Mike is out-sized, bigger than life.

His history of abusive relationships can't be ignored, neither can his ear-biting fiasco (a new low for him).

Somehow though, like George Forman before him, he's being allowed a path to redemption by showing his humanity.

It's interesting how both of these men have taken a page out of Mohammed Ali's book, learning to have fun while promoting themselves.  It's not an easy path, but it seems to be working for them.

Who can forget Mike's performance in The Hangover?  Check out his singing (it's a stretch to call it that) in the clip below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TbnXqhHJkk

One of the first things I saw when I landed in Poland, was a huge billboard of Mike selling something.  I was too busy being surprised at seeing him, that I didn't notice what he was advertising.

He's clearly taking his show on the road.

Good for him.

Parking

If there was anyone watching the other day, I provided loads of entertainment as I circled a parking lot over and over and over again looking for a space.

It wasn't that I was trying to get a close one, there were none to be found even blocks away.  It wasn't a holiday, and there wasn't a special event going on.

When I think about it, there are two parking worlds here . . . either it's feast or famine.

There are buildings with acres of available parking, and there are others, like the post office, a place that everyone has to frequent from time to time, that are sorely lacking.

One of the issues is most buildings have multiple tenants.  The post office houses at least a half dozen other businesses, and one of them is the main health insurer.  You need to visit them to file a claim.

So, the adventure continues.

I was visiting a brand new building the other day in Abu Dhabi, that was really, really nice.  Everything about it was state of the art, everything that is, except the parking lot.  There were less than twenty parking spaces for this entire building.

Nutty.  Nutty.  Nutty.

Of course, folks quickly got creative by parking on the curbs, and double/triple parking.

But really, as much as I dislike dealing with the headache of finding parking spaces, I only have to deal with it every once in a while.  It's a routine occurrence for my guys in New York and San Francisco, which you can expect because of the vast number of people in these cities, but even in Seattle, where my nephew just moved, it is insane finding parking there, too.

Makes you want to ditch your car altogether.

"Sorry Luther (my car).  I didn't mean you."

Batman

If you're in San Francisco, or can get there on November 15, go and witness the city transform into Gotham City, through the magic of the Make-a-Wish Foundation.

Guaranteed, there won't be a dry eye in the city that day.

Check out the link for the planned escapade below.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/01/san-francisco-batman_n_4196585.html

Arab Marriage

I've learned a lot lately about marriage in the Arab world.

Marrying relatives is comely practiced.

The main reason is to keep the clan bloodlines pure.

Also, money matters.

If the family is wealthy, the desired outcome is to marry a relative to keep the money in the family.

There is little concern about the genetic Russian Roulette that is being played when cousins marry.

Muslim men are encouraged to marry Muslim women, but are allowed to marry anyone they choose.  Muslim women can only marry Muslim men.

Muslim men can have up to four wives simultaneously.  The only caveat is he must treat each wife equally.  For example, if he buys a car for one, he must buy a comparable car for the other(s).

In many marriages, the man and woman don't know each other, and don't get to know each until after the marriage and public wedding ceremony.  It's not uncommon for a man to propose to a woman at first sight.

The couple's families meet and agree to the terms of the marriage.  The man is required to give money to the prospective bride and her family.  He is also responsible for all the wedding expenses.

The man and woman go to the courthouse and get married by a legal representative, but they are forbidden from consummating the marriage or living together until they are presented publicly at the wedding ceremony.  This wait can be days, weeks, months, or even years, depending on whether the man has to save up to raise the required funds.  Divorces happen most often during this period.

Side note - The divorce rate here sits at about 46%.   See the article link below.  It is from 2005, but I think the info is still valid.

(http://www.khaleejtimes.com/DisplayArticle.asp?xfile=data/theuae/2005/September/theuae_September502.xml&section=theuae&col)

Side note 2 - A husband can divorce his wife by sending an SMS through a cell phone.  Note the link below for more info.

http://www.international-divorce.com/uae_divorce.htm

The wedding ceremonies are lavish.

Thousands of people are invited for a sit down meal, featuring singers and dancers.

These receptions are separate for the men and women.

The ladies wear fabulous gowns, some quite revealing, but only other women will see them.

When the groom arrives (he and the brides' male relatives are the only men allowed in), the women cover up completely.

The bride and groom then parade on a t-shaped walkway very similar to a model's runway.

And then . . .

They live happily ever after.



The songs for today are not working on the widget.  Not sure what the problem is.  Hope they work in this format.

I did a Google search for Arab Wedding Songs, and these came up as most listened to on the playlist. I'm not sure if they are especially for weddings, but they sound very much like what was playing at the wedding I attended.

file:///Users/fayesharpe/Desktop/01%20Albi%20Albi.mp3

file:///Users/fayesharpe/Desktop/08%20saharounee%20ilail.mp3

file:///Users/fayesharpe/Desktop/14%20arabeasca-6.mp3