Making a Difference Through Music

I love Paul Simon.  Always have.  Some of my favorite songs are:

***Me & Julio Down by the Schoolyard
***50 Ways to Leave Your Lover
***Kodachrome
***American Tune
***Something So Right
***Loves Me Like a Rock
***Slip Slidin' Away

Treat yourself, and check them out on iTunes.  They're classics that will live on.

There's a new documentary about Paul and the making of his Graceland album in 1985, when he went to South Africa and, and defying a boycott, used local musicians.  This time was fraught with the reprehensible treatment of the native blacks and the danger that apartheid presented to them in their daily lives.

I'm sure this movie will be fascinating.  I can't wait to have the opportunity to see it.

You can find an opinion piece about this in the New York Times today.  The link follows:

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/05/30/opinion/friedman-paul-simon-takes-us-back.html?_r=1&src=me&ref=general

I was drawn to this article for two reasons:

First, I love Paul Simon.  Yes, I realize I'm repeating myself, but it bears repeating.

Second, having just visited South Africa, I feel I will have a better understanding of what the native black South African musicians - who were vital to the making of this album - went through.

There are no songs from the Graceland album that landed on my favorite list, but it was a breakthrough recording on so many levels.

It took courage for Paul to go against the grain of South Africa, and the African National Congress, who imposed the cultural ban.

He joins many courageous folks for standing up for what was right, in the face of serious opposition.

It's interesting how music provides the soundtrack of our lives.  In every important movement in the US, there were musicians who recorded the emotions of the time.

The Civil Rights Movement comes immediately to mind, and the great music from that era.

The Women's Movement, produced some incredibly powerful anthems on our liberation.

The Vietnam War, saw the making of many protest songs, that spoke of the anguish we were feeling as a nation.

This is a compelling argument for the support of the arts, because it is the arts, and especially music, that helps to define who we are at any given moment in history.

What does today's music say about us?

What We Learn & How We Learn in School

There's an intriguing quote from an article on the Salon website about Bruce Springsteen and his political journey - from basically being apolitical to the place now where he's comfortably making political endorsements.

True confession - I've never been a fan of his music.  It was always too hard rocky for my taste.

During a concert right after Ronald Reagan was elected president in 1980, he made his first public political comments.  You can find the whole article at the following link:

http://www.salon.com/2012/05/28/born_in_the_u_s_a_when_the_president_met_the_boss/?source=newsletter

The part of the article that was mesmerizing to me was this quote -

I never did good in school, never did good, and they always figured that if you’re not smart in school, it’s because you’re dumb. But I always felt that I never really learned anything, or learned anything that was important to me, till I started listening to the radio back in the early ’60s. And it seemed that the stuff that I was hearing off the radio in all those great songs was stuff that if they knew how, they’d be trying to teach you in school … but they just didn’t know how to. They always talked to your head, they could never figure out how to talk to your heart, you know. And it seems that, like all those singers and all those groups, there’s one thing that they just knew: what it was about. And when I started listening, I found out that the first time … that, instead of the fantasies that you have when you’re a little kid, I had dreams now and that they were different, it was different, and that if that was possible, that I didn’t have to live my life the way that I was, that things could be better. If you just go out, take a chance, find out what’s going on … - Bruce Springsteen, 1980.


Riveting, right?


Boy, did this cause me to reflect.  To think back.  Recognizing that reflection isn't always pretty.  And in this case, pretty scary would best describe it for me now.


How many kids have gone through my classes that I passed judgement on because of their lack of academic skills?  How many brilliant minds did I dismiss because I couldn't engage them in the prescribed lessons and required learning?  How many gifts and talents did I miss seeing in my students because they didn't perform the way I expected them to?  


How many students who were tossed aside grew up to do extraordinary things?  As teachers, do we recognize the power we hold?  The power to encourage, to promote and lift up.  And the power to discourage, demote and deflate.


What would I do differently if I went back to the classroom?


Would I be more patient and understanding, and more in tuned to the needs of my students, if given the opportunity for a "do over?"  


I hope so.  I really, really hope so.


Of course, knowing something intellectually is one thing; embracing it and using that knowledge to promote change, is another story altogether.


I shudder to think of the students I overlooked.  The opportunities missed.


As with parenthood - and what was done or not done as a teacher - the questions linger, waiting for time and history to judge.

Chocolate-Colored Camels

I spent the day in Abu Dhabi.  I was there for a meeting.  The highlight was sitting next to an acquaintance who shared some info on cruises.  I think that was the reason I was there.

Interestingly, this woman is a neighbor.  She lives on my floor, a few doors down, I think.  She also works next door to me in Um Ghafa.  However, I never see her, so we don't get a chance to chat much.

I'm working on plans to be someplace else during the massive heat wave expected soon, and the info she shared was most helpful.

Now about the scenery to and from Abu Dhabi -

Both ways, I was treated to sightings of dark chocolate-colored camels riding in trucks. I'm guessing they're rare because of the hundreds of camels that I've seen, I've never seen any this dark.  They're usually the color of sand, a golden brown.

These dark camels reminded me of the black squirrels on Stanford's campus.  They were seemingly a rare breed, too.  Of note - the black squirrels were mean and not at all interested in mingling with humans.  They simply occupied the same space as the folks on campus, reluctantly sharing it.  I wonder if there is a difference in the temperament of the different colored camels?  I'm betting someone, somewhere has done research on this very subject.  I should google it.

Maybe tomorrow.

It's late.  So, I gotta go.

Good night to me.  Good morning to you.

Jail Time

Warning:

This post is a little sleazy, but I wanted to share the cost of a roll in the hay.

http://www.thenational.ae/news/uae-news/couple-jailed-for-sex-out-of-wedlock

If we had this law in the US, they'd be a whole lot of folks in jail.

Thoughts?

New York, New York!

In less than a month, I'll be in New York for a week.  I'm really excited to be back in the US, if only for a short visit.

Frankie and his wife, Cara, are having a wedding ceremony, something they didn't have when they married almost two years ago.  I'm happy for them and I'm thrilled to be a part of the festivities.

Seeing Zadie tops my list of things to see and do.  She's 18 months old, and growing up so fast.

Today as we ended our video chat, she blew me a kiss goodbye.  The last time we chatted she said "I love you."  Precious!

It was years before I enjoyed motherhood.  Probably not until Ben and Frankie were grown and on their own did I really appreciate it.  When I was knee-deep in it, it was hard.

Being a grandma is a slice of heaven.  So much easier.  You get to enjoy the kids without the pressure of raising them.  I love this!

Funny, I didn't think I would be a doting grandma.  God knows, I wasn't a doting mom.  There was nothing warm and fuzzy about me or the way I did things, especially when it came to parenting.

I could absolutely be described as a doting grandma, though.  Oh, how the tables have turned.  I know Ben and Frankie have a hard time recognizing the woman/grandma I've become.

Side note - The visit will be short because my school doesn't end until mid-July and I need to be back here to help close it up.  July and August is when the temperatures start to rise past 120.  I'm planning several short trips to cooler climates during this time.

But first, it's . . .

New York City, here I come!

The Little Machine That Could

Years ago, I use to sew, making a lot of my own clothes.  But that was years ago. Now the only time I think about sewing is when I need to make some quick repairs.

Of course, with a "three luggage" limit traveling here, the thought of bringing a sewing machine didn't/wouldn't even occur to me.

Since I've arrived though, there have been a few things that needed repairing, so I went online - yes, to Amazon, my favorite store - and found the cutest battery (4AA) operated sewing machine that is so small it fits in the palm of my hand.  It costs $22.  It looks like a toy, but don't be mistaken, it's a powerful little booger.

"SMARTEK Mini-Sewing Machine
sitting next to a remote so you can get an idea of its compact size

For those of you who sew, you'll understand - It feeds the thread using bobbins on both the top and the bottom.  And, it came threaded and ready to use.

The reason I needed a sewing machine that is battery operated is because our electrical outlets run on 220 voltage instead of the 120V that we use in the US.

The quickest way to fry a motor is to plug a 120V into a 220V.  Yep, I speak from experience.

The uses for this little amazing sewing machine are countless.  And because of the compact size, you can take it anywhere.

Side Note - Interestingly, I haven't found anyone who knows what a crock pot is.  Of course, I could order one, but the voltage wouldn't be compatible and I would be adding it to the list of motors I've fried.

Side Note 2 - I think I missed my calling.  I should have been in sales because when I like something, I want the world to know about it and experience it.

Long Week

As I've gotten older, I've learned to appreciate time more.  Time to live. Time to enjoy life.  Time to experience new things.

But this was a tough week.  Time seemed to drag on, with each day longer than the previous one.

I'm dealing with sensitive personnel issues, and as the de facto problem solver for the school - how in the world did I get that role? -  it has made for some long days.

I went to bed as soon as I got home, with no intention of writing tonight, but Forrest called, as usual, but today it was sad news about a friend back home.  She had an aneurysm, collapsed and is on life support.  She is 54.  Her sister and I were the best of friends. We still are.

How quickly I went from feeling sorry for myself for being tired, to feeling like an idiot for making a mountain out of a mole hill.

My issues are microscopic compared to this family's.

On the days like today when I'm living in a fog, I hope that I remember how blessed and fortunate I am.

This news shocked some sense into me.

Don't make my mistake.  Take a minute now to recognize how good you have it.  No matter what's happening in your life, take the time to appreciate all of the goodness that surrounds you.  Even if you have to search . . . hard . . . I encourage you to do it.

I promise you - suddenly - your day will be better for it.

 

Mission Statement

Aramex is the awesome shipping company I use to get packages from the US here in record time.  I have the boxes shipped to their office because I'm not at home when they deliver.

There is a framed picture of their mission statement in their office that hangs prominently for all to see.  It reads, "The mission is to be one of the top five global logistics and express transportation service providers in the world."

This is fascinating to me.  

Why is their goal to be "one of the top five" and not number one?

Are they flying low instead of reaching for the stars?

Is this goal a more realistic one?  Is that why it was chosen?

And if one of the top five, why not the top ten or the top twenty?

My thinking is, if you're going to compete, shouldn't you always seek to be the best, to be number one?  

What do you think?

 

Last Minute

When the boys were growing up, Ben was always very punctual in every thing he did.  All of his assignments were turned in on time and often early.  He was always on time for events, sporting and otherwise.

Frankie, on the other hand, was perpetually late.  He would have his buddies fax over his assignments because he would loose his somewhere between school and home.  He always waited until the last minute to do his work.

Last night, when I started working on something that was due today, and I knew about it months ago, I knew then that Frankie is just like his momma.

I take back all those times I nagged him to do his work.

He would say he worked better under pressure.  Did he hear me use that excuse?

Oh, the things we pass on to our kids.  So much of which I wish I could take back.

Frankie hated homework.  Me too.

He would say - Momma, you know I know how to do it.  The teacher knows I know how to do it, so why do I have to do it?

He made a great point, but who cared?  He had work to do and all this lollygagging wasn't getting it done.

Round and round we would go.

Would I have dealt with him differently if I recognized he was just like me years ago?  Or, did I nag him because I "sensed" he was like me and I wanted him to be better?

Do we ever get to the point where we stop second-guessing our parenting skills?

UAE in NYC

I shared this with some of my New York City folks, but I think it deserves a wider audience.

The tourism department of Abu Dhabi set up a tent or majlis in Times Square in celebration of the opening of an office in New York City.


This is fascinating on many levels.


First and foremost, with the backdrop of 9/11, New York City would not be the first place I would think of to set up a tourism office for an Arab country.  On the other hand, I think it's a brilliant move.  It's a way to say, check us out.  Come and get an up close look at who we are and what we stand for.  


Secondly, they're reaching so many nations because of all of the international visitors to New York City.  They're tapping into many markets at once.


Finally, it's an opportunity for others to experience a little of the hospitality that the UAE is known for.  

Check out the article for yourself.  It was featured in The National newspaper a couple of days ago.

http://www.thenational.ae/news/uae-news/tourism/abu-dhabi-majlis-lights-up-new-yorks-times-square

Final, final note.

The temperature is averaging about 110.  It cools down to 100 at about 11pm.

I'm thinking they're probably not mentioning this in their presentation in NYC.

Leadership Styles

When I think of leaders, and the many different styles of leadership, I'm reminded of sports.  I think coaches provide great examples of the different ways of leading folks to success.

There is the Bill Parcell Style.  Loud.  Boisterous.  Confrontational.  In your face. Leading by intimidation.

There is the John Wooden Style.  Reserved.  Dignified.  Master of executing the basics to perfection.  Always the teacher.

Then there is the Tony Dungy Style.  Quiet.  Thoughtful.  Master of attention to detail.  And above all, respectful, of the game and his players.

I chose these three because, although the styles were varied, the end result was the same.  They were all winners.

So for the leader who rides, intimidates, embarrasses, humiliates and harasses, he/she continues to do that when they are winning with that strategy.  Their theory - Don't fix it if it isn't broke.

But for the leader who chooses to lead with dignity, humility, collaboration, and respect, he/she must win to prove to everyone that being kind doesn't mean being weak or ineffective.  I think, in many ways, this one is harder.

Here's why.

This coach/leader is in the minority.  That alone can be daunting.  The rule of thumb is coaches/leaders need to be tough to get the desired results.  This thoughtful approach dares proving because it goes against the grain.  Folks, by nature, tend to give this kind of coach/leader a shorter time to prove their worth.  Positive results need to happen fast.

I'm embarrassed to say that many times my style closely resembled the Coach Parcell Style. Thankfully, that was short-lived.  I hope it was anyway.  My staffs may think otherwise.

As I've grown in leadership positions, I've strived to emulate the style of the leader I had the great pleasure of working for.  Someone who was fair and reasonable. Someone who never asked her staff to do anything she wasn't also willing to do. Someone who helped to bring out the best in me.  Someone who was supportive, providing all of the resources we needed (that was in the good old days), but then expected us to do our best, and give our best.

Have I always succeeded in leading this way?  Absolutely not.

Do I always try?  Yes.  On most days anyway.

I think treating people with respect, is the most effective trait of an effective leader.

Unfortunately, our landscape is littered with bully leaders.  Here's hoping the tide turns in the other direction.  Soon.  But if the bully leader keeps winning, the wait will probably be a long one.

TV

I used to be hooked on television.  With the advent of TiVo, I had scores of shows saved to watch later.

When I was young, we had an elderly neighbor that I visited from time to time.  She always had her TV on, and it was always blasting.  It was "company" for her.  I swore then that I would never be an old lady with a blaring television.

Well . . . never say never.

I, in fact, became that woman.  Old, and watching way too much TV.

Thankfully, that is not the case here.

Of course, I'm still old, but I find that I don't turn on the TV for days at a time.  It helps that it's in the living room and not the bedroom, so it's not the automatic routine that it was.

So, how do I fill that time?

I'm reading much more.  Books.  Magazines.  Newspapers.

I like being informed.  Knowing what's happening in my world.

That world seems small when the headlines from the US are published prominently here in the UAE.

Again, I'm thankful for the online resources and outlets that feature the latest news and information from around the world.  It helps to keep me in the loop.

I also just downloaded a great app for my iPad . . . ESPN, The Magazine.  It features terrific articles and offers comprehensive coverage of sports.

Yes, I like sports.  I'm sure it's from growing up with all that testosterone.

I subscribed to Sports Illustrated years ago for Ben and Frankie, and kept it coming long after they were gone and only stopped getting it when they changed the font and I couldn't read it comfortably.  Clearly, it was geared for a younger, better eye-sighted, crowd.

The great thing about the iPad and iPhone and all the other i-gadgets, is the ability to increase the font size with your fingers by spreading them out on the page.  You gotta love the geeks.  Life is so much better because of them.

If you're still with me, you can see there wasn't much happening in my world.  Of course, if I waited for something exciting to write about, it might be a while.

Until next time, find something fun to read, and share it with me.  I'm always looking for something new.  Trashy romance novels count.  So do comics.

OK.  No comics.

Finally, this random reminder -

Forgive.  No matter what.  Choose to forgive.  Whatever the issue,  it's not worth holding on to it.  Just let it go.

Yes, you can do it.

Just let it go.

Take a deep breath.

Another.

One more.

Feel better?

I know.  I know.  I missed my calling.  I should have been a therapist.

Until next time.

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all you Moms out there!  Here's hoping your day is filled with fun, relaxation and lots of love.

Your blogging buddy

Evolution

Texas is home for me.  It's where I was born and raised.  Although I lived in Sacramento for 22 years,  and Texas for only 18, China, Texas will always be home.

China was a very small town.  There were about 1100 folks, and I'm sure they counted pets and the deceased, to come up with that number.

It was/is an agricultural area, with rice being the biggest crop.  Most folks worked on farms, and the lucky ones at the oil refineries in Beaumont, about 20 miles away.

Like all town/cities/communities at that time, it was segregated.  The railroad tracks were the dividing line. All the white folks lived on one side of the tracks, all of the black folks on the other.  It was like that in 1956 when I was born, and to a large degree, it's still like that today.

I remember the "whites' only signs for the restrooms and water fountains at the gas station.  At the general store, the whites parked in the front, the blacks on the side.

The white side of town had paved roads, sidewalks and underground drainage of waste.  There were no sidewalks on our side.  The roads were layered in dried shells, which was hard to drive on and even harder to walk on.  The drainage pipes emptied waste into the ditches, which was a festering ground for the spread of disease by the many mosquitoes that lived there.

Of course, the schools were segregated.

Everyone in the school system was black.  The principal, teachers and all support staff.  It was like this for me from 1st thru 6th grade.  Our school served all students from 1st thru 12th grade.  When I was in 1st grade, my brother Forrest was in the 11th grade, on the other side of the building.

My black world extended beyond the school.  The doctors, dentists, pharmacist, and all the other professionals whose services we used, were black, too.

We integrated my school when I was in the 7th grade.  My K-12 school became the middle school.  Everyone in 1st thru 6th grade, now went to the white school across the tracks.  All of the white kids in 7th and 8th grade, came to our school, and in the 9th grade, we were all bussed seven miles away, to the town of Sour Lake, where we went to high school.

As I mentioned, all of my teachers were black before we integrated.  After integration, I had one black teacher from 7th thru 12th grade.  All of those black educators lost their jobs.

Although integration opened many doors, I'm not sure if we did an accurate job of counting the cost.  We didn't always have the latest textbooks or the best supplies, but we had role models and teachers who had a vested interest in our success.  The black staff knew the challenges we would face, and they worked overtime to ensure our success.  They absolutely refused to let us fail.

When we integrated, we shared the same space, but we didn't always get the same education.

As I look back on that time, I marvel at the fact that our coming together was peaceful.  There were no protests.  No sit-ins.  No demonstrations.  We black folks understood how dangerous it was to push back, so we didn't.  We were taught how to behave to avoid trouble.  We knew our place and stayed in it.

Some may see this as cowardly.  I see it as an exercise in smart thinking.  We understood our lives and livelihoods were at stake.  Literally.

The good thing about being raised in the South was, we knew where we stood.  Their was no ambiguity about how someone felt about you.  It was revealed for all to see and deal with.

This is my history.

This is what I passed on to Ben and Frankie.  This may help to explain why for years, I objected to their dating white girls.  My rationale was twofold.  I was absolutely concerned about their safety, and I wanted them to appreciate black women and the richness of our culture.

Both Ben and Frankie are married, and I love their wives and the choices they made.  Neither of the women are black.

My thinking evolved.

I loved what President Obama stated, when he said his thinking about gay marriage has evolved.  So too, has mine about interracial marriage.  I've grown.  I've matured. I understand that love comes is many packages and in many colors.

I always encouraged Ben and Frankie to marry smart women.  And they did.  Could they have found smart black women?  Of course.  But they didn't, and that's OK.

I've grown.  I've matured.  I've evolved.

Thank God!

Evolution is a good thing.

Tears & Rain

Yesterday was one big celebration at school.  We were honoring the conclusion of Dental Health Month in Abu Dhabi.

There were dignitaries present who were entertained with songs, dances, skits, and readings.  Some had nothing to do with teeth or dental health, but who cares?  It was a party and everyone was invited, whether they were relevant to the theme or not.

It lasted almost three hours.  We're serious about celebrations here.  We acknowledge something or someone with a celebration at least once a week.

The good news is the kids are good at it.  The grown folks could use some polishing, but the student performers are great.

The bad news is the amount of academics that is missed to make this happen.

On the other hand, the students here get to fully participate in the arts . . . music and creative arts.  Drawings, artistic creations, and projects can be seen all over the building.

It's a beautiful site.

One of the teachers, who was integrally involved in the planning and execution of this elaborate program yesterday, was in tears at the end of it.

I was definitely at a disadvantage in not speaking the language, in trying to find out what the problem was.  The explanation I could piece together seemed insignificant, but I've lived long enough to know that sometimes, the current circumstance causing the distress may be the representation of the "straw" that broke the camel's back.  It's not necessarily the current issue, but a culmination of things that causes folks to be upset.

We have no idea of what others are going through.  We have what they share, but most people are cautious about airing their dirty laundry.  That's especially true here where appearances reign supreme.

I'm guessing if we peeled back some of the layers, both figuratively and literally, we would find more than a little funky laundry.

After all of this, later in the day . . .

It rained.

A heavy drizzle really, and only at the mall.  Not even the whole mall, just on the massive concrete "front yard" of the mall.  It was funny watching people watch the rain. Shopping stopped in its tracks for this event. It's such a rare sight in these parts.

When I left the mall, Luther was a mess because before the rain, there was a mini-sandstorm.  The wind was blowing hard and hot.  It was 108 degrees at 4:00pm. The dampness in the air must have mixed with the sand because it was sticking to Luther.  I'd have to be sure to go to the carwash on Saturday.

Here's hoping that there are no tears in your world, and if there's rain, it's a welcome sight.

Gaudy, Gaudy, Gaudy!

On my way to get a haircut, I had some time to spare, so I stopped by - what we would call way back when - a five and dime store.

It was touted as a gift shop, but that's a real stretch.

What was so inviting, and yet in many ways, so repulsive, was the gaudiness of it all.

Even the cheesy stuff is done up in a big way here.

There were rows and rows of shiny gold things that I'm sure would turn green before you walked out of the store with it.

But for some reason, I was mesmerized by it all, and walked up and down each aisle . . . several times.

What does that say about me?

Please don't answer!

Yes, I did buy something.

It was only a little bit gaudy.

And yes, I will discuss this issue in my next therapy session.

Here's wishing you a good "gaudy" night.

Sandstorms, Music and Dating

I spent the day in Abu Dhabi for a meeting.  It wasn't as productive as I had hoped, but it was still nice getting out of town for the day.

On the way home, I drove through a sandstorm.  It really is pretty harrowing to see and experience.  The sand was so thick that visibility wasn't much farther than the front end of your car.

Side note - Each time I've experienced a sandstorm, I noticed that the wind blew across the road, horizontally.  The fierce windy sand moves from right to left or left to right, to swirls in big circles.

Side note 2 - I always thought storm chasers were nuts, but I can see the fascination now.  I was tempted to pull over just to have it swirl around me.

When there was a slight let up in the wind, I could see that the cars around me had on their emergency blinkers.  So, I turned on mine, too.  That really was the only way to see them.  Thankfully, the speed of the traffic slowed way down.  This is a road that folks fly on, so I was happy that cooler heads prevailed and they/we all slowed down.

As I was driving home, in all of this colorful weather, I was listening to music.  It had been a while since I'd done that.  Usually I'm listening to motivational speakers.

Anyway, I was listening to someone cover a Whitney Houston song, and I thought - why am I listening to him, when I could be listening to the real thing.  So, I was serenaded by Whitney, then Michael (Jackson), and finally Luther (Vandross).

Yes.  They have all passed away, but it felt so good to walk down memory lane with them.  Each song took me to a different place and time in my life.

I thought about all of the great music and musicians I grew up with, and how prolific that time - the 70's - were in giving us timeless artists and songs that have lasted the test of time.  

There was Aretha (Franklin), Gladys (Knight), Stevie (Wonder), Frank (Sinatra), Barbra (Streisand), The Temptations, The Four Tops, Harold Melvin and the Blue Notes, featuring Teddy (Pendergrass), and so many more.  Although I was not a fan, many people liked Marvin (Gaye).

Side note 3 - I've come close to having to turn in my "black" ID card when that tidbit was revealed.

Funny how many young folks nowadays, are using just the one name, like Beyonce (Knowles) and Joe (???).

Seriously!  They haven't earned the right.  Will we be listening to them 20-30 years from now?  I doubt it.

They can't hold a candle to Aretha, Gladys, Barbra, Frank or Luther.

OK.  I get all riled up about this, so I'll stop.

Finally, a comment about my dateless decade.

I was married for 20 years, and spent almost every day for much of that time trying to please my husband and keep a happy home.  Well, at about year 15, I realized that no matter what I did, it wouldn't ever be good enough, so after a while, I stop trying.

Now, it takes two to screw things up in a relationship, and God knows I was guilty on many levels.  So, after hanging in as long as possible, it ended in year 20.

That was my year of jubilee!  I started to experience a freedom I'd never had before, and I loved it.

I also discovered I liked me, warts and all.

And I made a promise to myself to never spend another day trying to bring someone else happiness.  That has to come from within.

So, I've guarded my heart and myself.  

My motto now is "to thine own self be true."

If that leads to a relationship, wonderful.

If not, I'm OK with that, too.


  

Kuwait

About a year and a half ago, I applied for a job in Kuwait, and was so disappointed when it didn't come through.  Little did I know at the time, there was something much better coming down the pike.  All I could see was the disappointment of not getting this job.

If the Kuwait job had materialized, I would have had to resign from my position in Sacramento, as opposed to being able to retire, which I did.  I wasn't old enough to retire the year before, so I can see now that some things had to fall in place before this move could happen.

Sometimes when you're hoping or wishing for something that doesn't happen, maybe, just maybe, it's because something much better is right around the corner.

I think about all the time I waited to hear from Abu Dhabi, wondering if, or when, I would hear from them again.  In hindsight, I see now that I arrived at the perfect time.  Landing when I did allowed me a month to sightsee and get acclimated to the new culture, and it allowed for a period of adjustment free from the stress of work.

And . . .

The temperature was 111 at 2:45 as I was leaving work today.  When I arrived in this country in late November, it was a high of about 75 degrees for the first three months.  That was heavenly.  This is HOT!  It would have been so much harder adjusting with this blazing heat.  It's 7:30pm and it has cooled down to 102!

I could go on and on about how things have worked out for the best, but I'm sure you get my drift.

I hope that by reading this you'll be encouraged to keep working toward your dreams, no matter the setbacks.  I heard someone say recently that your setbacks should be thought of as setups . . . setting you up for something greater.

If it happened for me, it can happen for you, too.

Sending good thoughts your way . . . always.

Your blogging buddy

Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man

This is the name of Steve Harvey's book and the newly released movie based on it. I read the book and can't wait to see the movie.

Side note - The movie, The Avengers opened here last week, the same day as in the US.  I have absolutely no desire to see it, and can pretty much guarantee that I won't be trekking to the theater for this one.  I wished the powers that be had asked me which movie to release first.  The Avengers would have been way down the list.

Now, back to the book/movie.

I've got the second half of that title down pat - there's no doubt - I think like a guy. I'm sure this is due in large part to being raised in a household with three brothers, and no sisters.

The first part, acting like a lady, is what I'm always working on.

For years, I was Mom and Dad to my boys.  As such, I felt that I had to be tough to keep them in line.  Although many folks raise wonderful kids without going that route, this was the journey I chose, for better or worse.

I found it hard turning off the toughness, so I tended to be rough around the edges all the time.

Nothing ladylike about that.

One of these days I'm going to query Ben and Frankie about their take on the whole "growing up" experience.  I'm guessing it's still pretty fresh in their minds.  To be safe, I think I'll wait a few more years to get their thoughts on the matter. I'll probably wait until after they've experienced fatherhood for a while.  I'm guessing that will help soften their thinking, although I still think therapy would be helpful for all of us.

Anyway . . .

I feel so fortunate to have had my brothers' guidance in the matters of the heart. Forrest was especially helpful because he could always cut to the chase and read someone faster than they could say their name.  Nine times out of ten, he was right on the money, too.  As a result of his guidance in dealing with guys, I was able to navigate those waters pretty well.  Some might say too well, as it's been more than a decade since my last date.

Pick up your jaw up off the table.  It's all good.

Maybe I'll go into more details later, but at the very least, it's a few lines in a posting for another day.

I didn't/don't like typical girlie things, like shopping and hanging out with other girls.  I was always much more comfortable with guys.  I'd take an afternoon of roughhousing with guys any day over the cattiness that is too often present with a group of women get together.

So, I continue to work on softening my edges and acting like a lady, so that the number of folks I scare, gets smaller and smaller every day.

Of course, I'm always ready to blast anyone who rubs me the wrong way, but as I get older, I'm blasting less and less.

It's nice to know old age is good for something.

Surfin' UAE!

Smack dab in the middle of the desert, is a dazzling water park.

Entrance to the waterpark

Surfing pool with waves every 90 seconds

Yep.  A water park that provides surfing, white water rafting, kayaking, and an airpark, which includes a high rope course, zip lines, and a climbing wall.

This park was three years in the making and just opened this past January.  A recent article in one of the local magazines, notes that it has three world-class white water rafting and kayak runs, and a surf pool with waves generated every 90 seconds.  Most impressive of all is the water, all 5,000,000 gallons to it, that is pumped from 70 miles away!

High-rope course of the Airpark

I had been hearing about this oasis in the desert and was bound and determined to find it.  I left home early in the day and tried to locate it, but my GPS coordinates were off.  At sunset, I decided to try again, and this time I had no problem, and drove right to it.

Guys in rafts.  One has bit the dust.

It's nestled in the side of our mountain, Jebel Hafeet, and it provides breathtaking views of the mountain, up close.

Nestled next to Jebel Hafeet, our majestic mountain

It seems to be a well-kept secret.  There were only about a dozen folks there. Considering how many ex-pats there are here, I expected large crowds.

I continue to marvel at the opulence and extravagance of this great nation.

Enjoy the pictures of my Wadi Adventure.

Rafters near the Airpark

Climbing Wall

Refreshingly flowing water.  It was 108 today!

Side of tent made of grass

Typical bedouin sitting area

More sitting areas with
Jabel Hafeet in the background.

Salads

Yesterday was a tough day.

I was so busy I forgot to eat lunch and realized it when I got a headache.  That hunger headache evolved into a migraine, so I went to bed early to sleep it off.

Because I went to bed so early, I woke up early . . . at 3:00 in the morning.

I got up and read a few emails.

Yes, that's one of the first things I do when I wake up.

Yes.  I know that's strange, but I'm Ok with that.

I fell asleep again, only to be awaken by my alarm going off at its usual time - 5:00. I got up and turned it off, but fell asleep again, waking up this time at 6:30.

I get to school at 6:30, so this was going to be a late one.

I arrived at school at about 7:45.  I refused to rush at home getting ready or on the road driving.  I decided that I would get there when I got there.

Of course, being late is an extremely rare occurrence for me, so I wasn't overtaken with that Catholic guilt.

Thankfully, I made it through the day and left at a decent hour.

Today begins the weekend.

Side note - I'm still observing teachers and have completed 49 of the 75 I have to do.  I'm averaging at least five a day.  Truthfully, the visits are starting to blend together.  I liken it to buying a wedding dress.  They all start to look alike after a while.  For those teachers that I'm seeing for the first time, they want me to see everything that they do or have done, all year.  As a result, the scheduled half hour visits are lasting longer than expected for many of them.

True confessions -

I'm not fond of the workweek starting on Sunday.  That is, until we get to Wednesday.  Then I start to like it a lot, knowing that Thursday at 2:00pm begins the weekend.

Moving on -

Very recently, I was grocery shopping at the store with the best fruits and vegetables, when I saw a ready-made garden salad.  It's rare to find them.  It looked good, so I bought it, along with some dressing.

True confessions 2 -

I can't remember the last time I had a salad.

I don't know if it was because it had been forever since I'd eaten one, but this one was mouthwateringly delicious.  I went back to the store today and bought three more.

True confessions 3 -

I'm still working on doing things in moderation.  When I like something, I tend to eat it, use it, etc., for months.  Then when I can't stand to see it again, I move on to something else.

For example -

I ate fried rice for lunch and dinner for six months during my last year or so in Sacramento.  When I was feeling sluggish for weeks, I went to the doctor for a checkup, and discovered I was seriously anemic.  He asked what I'd been eating, and when I mentioned my rice diet, he strongly suggested that I add some variety.

I try, but old habits are tough to break.

Moving on . . . again -

It's almost 11:00 at night.  Where did the time go?

My plans for tomorrow is to do what I always do on Fridays . . . sleep in and wear my pj's all day.

What about you?

Whatever it is, have fun.

Life is too short for anything else.

Small-minded People

Have you ever dealt with a small-minded person who is in a position of power? Always feeling the need to make themselves look bigger by putting other people down.

This is especially hard to watch when you feel helpless to do anything about it.

What is it about human nature that causes downtrodden people, when circumstances change for the better for them, to treat others in the same awful way they were being treated?

I suppose it's the same phenomena that causes folks who have been abused, to turn around and become the abuser.

In schools, we see the kids who were bullied, oftentimes turn into bullies themselves.

The real danger, though, is when these folks reach positions of power.  Usually, they wield it with an iron fist, insisting on standards of behavior that they themselves don't/can't adhere to.

My heart aches witnessing folks doing their best, never being recognized for the good they do, only being recognized for what is wrong, by these small-minded people.

I know what it feels like to have folks in your world who are never satisfied with anything that you do.  After years of trying to please them, you finally realize that if everything was in place, they'd still find fault with something.

Thankfully, I learned to recognize their small-mindedness for what it was, and move on.  I was fortunate.  Not everyone has that option to physically move.

So to anyone who has had to endure experiences with a narrow-minded thinker, rejoice knowing that you know who and what you're dealing with, and that their opinion of you doesn't have to have any bearing on your future successes, other than maybe propelling you forward to proved to them how wrong they were.

I love proving people wrong.  In a nice way, of course.

You?