Ummmmmm

This is filed under "live and learn."

Topic:  Best time to apply antiperspirant

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/28/antiperspirant-mistake_n_5701736.html

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Think outside the box, because after you buried you’ll have an eternity to think inside the box.

A New School Year

The beginning of the school year is one of my favorite times.

It signals a new start.

A do-over.

A chance to do it better this time, whatever "it" is.

The kids are excited, but little do they know, I'd bet serious money that the teachers are even more excited.

The typical school year cycles through highs and lows.

The start of school is a high.

By winter break, we've been looking forward to it for weeks.

Then we return at the new year, and we're refreshed again.

By March, we're counting down once more to spring break.

When we return after that last break, usually the students begin testing, with so much riding on those few days.  You pray that nothing interferes with their concentration during this time.  They can't afford to have a bad day.  We can't afford for them to have a bad day.  Bad days are banned during testing time.

Then, the real countdown begins for the end of school, which at this point, seems so far away.

But, I'm getting ahead of myself.

Way ahead.

Now I'm just excited about tomorrow.

Happy first day of school to you all, and to all a good night.

~~~~~

You can teach a student a lesson for a day; but if you can teach him to learn by creating curiosity, he will continue the learning process as long as he lives.  -Clay P. Bedford

(Hat tip to Forrest for suggesting that I add quotes to blog).

Okra Love

I love okra, and fortunate for me, it's available all year long here.  It's offered regularly as a buffet selection at most events I've attended where food is served.

Today, I noticed an article from the New York Times, that features it.

Check out the two-minute video at the beginning of the piece.

Yum.  Yum.

Enjoy.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/27/dining/okras-triumph-of-taste-over-texture.html?src=dayp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=c-column-above-moth-fixed-region&region=c-column-above-moth-fixed-region&WT.nav=c-column-above-moth-fixed-region

Endless Possibilities

I love this young man's attitude.  His name is Rashard Mendenhall.

He begins this article by stating:

I wasn't supposed to walk away from the NFL, but I did. I wasn't supposed to be writing television, but I am. I'm supposed to be lost after football. I'm not. I've reinvented myself. This is my first transformation. I'm supposed to be broke right now, or maybe the statistics say five years from now. Either way, I'm not even close. I'm not supposed to be anything but a football player. But really, I'm just a guy who used to play football. There's a reason I'm doing this.

The last few months of my life are a true example of the fact that everything "they" say can be wrong. I believe it usually is.

It's largely assumed that there is only one way to happiness/success. Most often it's some variation of going to college, finishing school, landing a good job, getting married, having a family, putting your personal desires aside and after many years of this you leave whatever you can for your children, retire and wait till it's your turn to go. Now, I'm sure this structure works for a lot of people, but can this exact model be right for everyone?

Any person I've known, met or studied that has done something great and found their joy has done it by following a passion or an idea that felt right to them. Even if they were alone in it, they chased that desire without fear and trusted that things would turn out. They believed so deeply in their truth, that it was manifested and actually became their reality.

A question I like to ask people I'm meeting, or even people who I know, is 'If you could be anything in the world, without any restriction or it even being realistic, what would you be?'

It always sparks an interesting conversation. One guy even told me he'd want to be an assassin. I backed away slowly... However, beyond the fun and imaginings it's surprising to me how often the things that people say they truly want to do are actually very possible. They literally can be done. The strongest hesitation is the fear of stepping off course and doing something uncertain. Though certainty provides a strong level of comfort, the question is, will it please your soul?

"If you want guarantees in life, then you don't want life." -- The Creator

A few months ago I moved to Santa Monica and became a member of the Writers Guild of America, West. I'm on the writing team of a new show that will air on HBO next summer. A year ago, a writing career was just a tiny seed of thought as I prepared for my sixth NFL season. And as I write this now, it has already begun to sprout. Through this experience I've learned that you can will your dreams into existence.

If only I wouldn't have taken that step...

The link is below.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/rashard-mendenhall/august_2_b_5717657.html

Yes!

I love this man's thinking!

This is taken from a message by the CEO of LinkedIn.  Check it out below.

http://www.linkedin.com/today/post/article/20140824235337-22330283-the-three-qualities-of-people-i-most-enjoy-working-with?trk=eml-mktg-inf-w-top-p2

Playing Like a Girl

I've never been a fan of baseball, but the story of the 13 year old phenom, Mo'ne Davis, is a message for the ages.  She's currently graces the cover of Sports Illustrated.

Check out the article below from The New York Times that delves into the coach who helped her get here.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/08/24/opinion/sunday/frank-bruni-black-white-and-baseball.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=c-column-top-span-region&region=c-column-top-span-region&WT.nav=c-column-top-span-region&_r=0

My Arabian Gulf Adventure

I've spent the last couple of days in Al Ain (about four hours away), taking care of some business before school starts on Sunday.

Forrest and I were chatting about this and that recently, like we always do, when the conversation turned to the body of water that hugs this country to the north, the Arabian Gulf.  I was sharing how incredibly blue it is, and Forrest said it was probably crystal clear.  He suggested that I check it out some time.  It's very close to home so I said I would.

 I'm not a "water" person, so I hadn't been curious enough to check out his theory, until now.

I had been on the road all morning, when I made a stop at the little mall about an hour from home.  While there, I noticed the temperature was surprisingly pleasant. So, I decided then and there, that today would be a good one to see the water near my home and check out if it is in fact clear.

When I arrived in Al Sila, I drove past my turn off for home and kept going until I reached the port, about a mile from my apartment.  Then I turned onto an unpaved road that runs parallel to the gulf.  I had been here before to see the beach, following one of my teachers, but I had not gotten out of the car to explore the water up close.

This teacher parked about 50 yards from the makeshift road which was about halfway from the road to the water.

Today, I decided to drive closer.  Remember, there is no road, just sand with trails where previous automobiles have traveled.

After getting reasonably close, I stopped, got out, and walked the rest of the way through the thick sand, to the water.

So far.

So good.

The sand leading to the shore was like flour, causing you to sink as you walked.  It was quicksand really, in many places.

That should have been a hint to be careful.

No worries yet though.

And so . . .

I plowed forth.

Once I reached the water, it was brown/black close to the shore, but when I dipped a see-thru cup in it, the sand and debris settled to the bottom, and just like Forrest said, it was crystal clear.

Satisfied at having accomplished this goal, I walked back to my car and used the water in the cup to clean the sand off my feet, and then I started it up and headed back for the road.

All was going well until I hit one of those soft batches of sand, the quicksand stuff, when my car got stuck.  Of course I tried going forward, then backwards, then turning my tires in hopes of getting some traction.  The more I tried, the more stuck I became.

At this point, I knew I needed help.

The problem was, this is a remote area, and it's Friday (our Sunday), so there was very little traffic.

I knew I couldn't just sit there hoping for the best, so I headed out walking to the main road, a couple of miles away.

As I was hiking, I thought that there was a better chance of finding people (there are homes and small businesses that line the shore) in the other direction, so I turned around.

After about five minutes, coming towards me in a cloud of dust, was a pickup truck that I frantically waved down.

Thank God, the man stopped, and I explained what happened and pointed to my stranded car.  He spoke very little English, but I understood him when he invited me to climb in his truck, which I did.  When we got to my car, I asked if he could help me get it out, and he indicated that he could.

Now, he's a local, dressed in a pristine white kundora (long robe), with the typical red checked head covering.

The first thing he did was let some air out of the front tires.  When he did this, I remembered that's what the guys did on the safari that I was on when I first arrived in this country.  Somehow, the tires have more traction in the sand when they are not inflated all the way.

Then I could tell he was looking for some rope or a chain or something, and he said he'd be back in five minutes.  True to his word, he was.  The rope that he got wasn't strong enough though and it broke.  He said he was going some place else, and again, he would be back in five minutes.

Again, he returned as promised.

He had purchased a brand new nylon rope and a bottle of water for me.

He was on the ground, on all fours, with grit and grim everywhere, with a total disregard to his snow white robe.

Once he tied the rope to the back of his truck, he tied the other end to the back of my car.  Then he got in his truck and floored it.  With a jerk, my car got out of the hole with no problem.  He pulled me a ways away, making sure I was on solid ground.

Then he indicated that he would drive my car to the road, and I was to follow in his truck.  That's what we did.

When it was all over, I tried to pay him, but he wouldn't hear of it.

This man absolutely save me today.

There is no doubt in my mind, he was angel sent from God to rescue me.

Well this experience just solidified my feeling about water.  It's beautiful to see from a safe distance, but can be treacherous when you get too close.

Been to the edge of the Arabian Gulf?

Check.

Going back again?

Heck no!

Another Perspective

The following article is a policeman's take on what's going on in Ferguson, MO.  It sheds light on what should happen, and what oftentimes does happen, when there is a confrontation between civilians and the police.  It is long, but it's thoughtful and thought provoking.  Well worth the read.

The article is entitled "A Cop's Take on Ferguson," from the Daily Kos.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/08/18/1315081/-A-Cops-take-on-Ferguson?detail=email

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As I watch the events in Ferguson Missouri I can't help but think about my own time in law enforcement and just how much I've changed since I wore the badge.

It's only been a few years but seems like a lifetime ago.  I would come in to work and feel like I could make a difference in this world.  Back then when I lined up for roll call, I would look around me and see a squad room full of diverse personalities and experiences that I knew made us all more effective.  I trusted these men and women because I believed in the good we could do and the bond of brotherhood we shared.  But a little over a year ago something happened that forced me to take a hard look at the realities of the system that I had been a part of.  When I did I learned a lot about myself and finally had to accept some hard facts.

I learned that justice is not blind and there is a very thin blue line that unifies cops. I learned that Americans are not just divided by red and blue, when it comes to the law we are divided by black and white.  I accepted that sometimes we have a justice system with two sets of rules.  I had to accept that no matter how well I raise my son he will grow up in a world where I still have to be afraid for him.  Not just from criminals, but from my brothers and sisters in blue. For most of his young life all my son has ever seen is me in a uniform with a gun and a badge.  He doesn’t know to fear the police because  I have always told him he didn't have to.  The police are the good guys and he is a good kid, so no worries.  I guess I was naive. I never thought that I would have to explain to him that despite my years in law enforcement, I’m still a second class citizen in the eyes of the law.

For his sake I have to tell him no matter how professional he looks, no matter how well he carries himself, no matter how much education he obtains, as a black male he has to meet a higher standard of submission to authority or his life is at risk. Even if he chooses to raise his right hand and swear to protect and serve this country with his life it doesn't  change that fact.  It hurts to know that I’m going to have to give my son that talk. I tell myself that things are still like this because of ignorance and fear.  I blame it on politicians who turn fear in to resentment and the wealthy elites who exploit those resentments to satisfy their own agenda.  The hopeful part of me thinks that our differences are not really as bad as they seem.  My head tells me that time will change things. Time.  But my heart tells me that right now I just need to protect my son.  

As a cop I learned that it’s usually best to wait until you know as much information as possible before you go on the record so I’ll be completely honest;

I don’t know why an unarmed 18 year old was shot multiple times.
I don't know what that police officer felt in the seconds before he pulled the trigger.
I don’t know why the Ferguson Police chose to withhold details about this shooting.
I don’t know why this police chief decided to have SWAT teams on foot patrols.
I don't know why this police chief deployed Armored Vehicles and Snipers to this area.
I don’t know why police officers were locking up reporters.
I don’t know how a community that is 67% black has a police department that is 96% white.

But here are a few things that I do know. I know what it's like to walk around in a Kevlar helmet, gas mask, shield, and baton dressed in riot control gear. It’s hot, it’s frustrating, and most of the time you are just standing around waiting.  I know that Protests and Riots are not the same thing and just because someone is protesting the police does not make them a "thug".  I know that the criminals that are using this situation to loot and cause havoc should be arrested and prosecuted period.  I know that whether you are a rapper, a teacher, a nun, or a congressmen you should have the same rights. I know that if your police department continues to let the community’s questions go unanswered for days while you post armored vehicles and snipers in their neighborhoods you might not get a very positive outcome.  I know that if your unofficial departmental policy is to ignore the underlying problems in a community and never address their actual issues don't be surprised if protests become riots.

I know that diversity makes an organization more efficient and more credible. The fact that the Ferguson Police Department cannot recruit or retain more than 3 black officers in a city that is almost 3/4 black speaks volumes.  It takes a lot of effort to maintain that kind of imbalance.  What they don’t realize is that keeping black people out of their department is doing nothing but hurting their department.  I know that a robbery in any jurisdiction is a felony.  That means when that call comes in to 911 it should be dispatched as a high priority call. That dispatcher should alert everybody that the crime has just happened and give a BOLO with a detailed description of the suspect, and what direction they were last seen headed. If an officer sees a person fitting the description of the suspect that officer should advise dispatch what they have, THEN make a FELONY stop.  If that is what happened the day that Brown was killed then there should be a dispatch recording of the robbery call and of the officer stopping Brown.  

Now I know this having never set foot in Ferguson Missouri. Whatever their intent was, the way that the Ferguson Police department has handled this situation has seemed incompetent, petty, and disrespectful to the community that they are supposed to serve.  I don’t even live there and I feel insulted. You can’t just drop into black churches during the day and then drop the hammer on black people at night.  It’s ridiculous to believe you can withhold details about an officer involved shooting victim then release a video of that person committing a crime and believe nobody will figure out what you are doing.  Even from an investigative standpoint the decision to release that video served no logical purpose.  If it was Brown, the robbery case was solved the minute they positively ID'd him. You don't prosecute a crime when the suspect is deceased, you just close the case. Other than just shear vindictiveness I can’t see the legal purpose in releasing that video.  So either this chief has no clue, no control of his command staff or he doesn't care.

I’ve done the job.  I don't know everything but I understand the high-points as well as the risks of police work. When I was on the street I wasn't perfect by any means. I made mistakes and sometimes I let the moment get the best of me.  If I saw two guys walking in the road when there was a perfectly good sidewalk, I would probably have told them to get out of the street.  If they were knuckleheads they might tell me to fuck off.  Now I could choose to either ignore it or I could engage them.  At this point I’ve got enough probable cause to charge them with pedestrian in the roadway but that's pretty much it.  If I decided I wanted to make that charge I could give them each a ticket and a court date or I could put handcuffs on them and take them to jail.  Either way I would have had to physically get out of my patrol car and make contact with them.  Once an officer decides to make contact in a situation like that things can go from OK to very bad in seconds.  Right now we don't know what happened once that officer got out of his patrol car.  We don't know what Brown did or what the officer thought he was about to do, but going from a pedestrian traffic charge to lethal force is a very steep climb.  Once that officer’s gun comes out it’s hard to climb back down from that. Officer Wilson has to be able to articulate how he got to that level of force with an unarmed person. If not he's in trouble. There is no way around it.

It doesn't matter if your subject looks like the hulk, is talking shit and refusing verbal commands, that's not enough for deadly force.  Even if you are trying to put the hand cuffs on him, he jerks back and pushes you off to get away, that's not enough.  It doesn't matter how angry the guy makes you. It doesn't matter if he embarrassed you. It doesn't matter if he told you what he was going to do to your wife and kids.  All that matters is at that moment: was the suspect armed? Did he have the ability to seriously hurt you? Did he pose an imminent threat to use that ability? Were you convinced that you were in immediate mortal danger?  

Just resisting the police does not meet the standard for deadly force.  

Even when a suspect has gone from simply resisting you to actively fighting you, once he complies with your commands and can be taken into custody he should be taken into custody. Once the threat has stopped, then your need to use force stops too.   Even if you respond to a call and a suspect has just shot and killed dozens of people in a movie theater, once he throws down his weapons and puts up his hands, and you can safely take him into custody, then you take him into custody.  You don't execute him because he's a mass murderer.

What that officer did or did not do right is something that has to be resolved soon for the sake of the Brown family, the community and everybody else involved.  I know all too well that police make mistakes. Unfortunately mistakes in police work can be deadly for either party. That's why in the heat of the moment you need to make good tactical decisions.  Hopefully you have other officers to help you. Hopefully you self-correct before you get too far out there.  But what the Ferguson Police department has done in the aftermath of the shooting indicates a serious lack of respect for the community that they serve.  From what I can tell that lack of respect starts at the top.  

Respect is probably the most essential resource that law enforcement has.  Respect is what maintains order between you and the public.  Even on the street respect is what governs the interactions between criminals. It's not your gun or your baton that commands respect, it's your presence. Your success and sometimes even your survival depend on how people perceive you.  As a police officer you need respect from the citizens and criminals alike. But those same people also need it from you.  Some respect is automatically granted to you because of the profession but in police work the kind of respect that is earned is what is most important.  A lot of officers lose sight of that.  

When I first hit the street a veteran officer asked me “Rook, what's the most effective piece of equipment that you have?”  I looked down at my gun belt and thought about it for a minute. I knew that in most cases deadly force was not called for so it wasn't my gun.  My ASP Baton seemed like the next logical choice but I figured you can’t just beat people into compliance all the time.  Finally I answered “my OC Spray?”.  He just smiled and said “naw rook, your best weapon is your mouth piece”.  He was right.  The way you talk to people.  The way you deal with them.  Officer presence.  Being able to command respect and exude authority without having to constantly use force. That is what is most important.  I'm not saying an officer needs to be all smiles and never use force, that's ridiculous. But being a professional means being firm and prudent. If somebody mouths off to you, you can't get so caught up in it that they always end up in handcuffs with a busted lip. Being able to manage yourself and a violent situation effectively without losing control, that's what makes you a professional.  You just can't beat everybody that is non-compliant and you certainly can't shoot everybody that you have to go hands on with.

Respect is the only thing that keeps you in your job.

Respect is what allows you to put a 6ft 5, 280 pound killer in hand cuffs and load him into the back of your patrol car without a fight, not your elite unarmed combat skills.

Respect is what makes that citizen on your beat call 911 when see their cousin you've been looking for who is wanted for burglary.  

Respect is what makes that junkie you arrested a month ago for possession warn you about the suspect you are about to arrest who hides a gun in his pants and has been telling people “he aint going back to jail”.

Respect can keep you alive.

When you show up on ta call with your shiny badge and gun citizens automatically give your uniform a base line respect.  Not you the person, they are respecting the uniform and the authority that it represents.  But as soon as you step out of that patrol car the clock starts running.  How you do your job and interact with people from that second forward will be the reason why you get respect or not.  Some of my most valuable lessons were not learned in the Academy but in getting out and interacting with people of all backgrounds. Learning to appreciate where they come from.  I learned that trying to maintain a basic level of respect for a person can make your job easier and will take you a long way in your career. Believe me it’s not always possible. It's a grimy job. You've got to put your hands on people sometimes.  The things that people are capable of doing to one another is shocking.  The job can get to you.  There are bad people in this world, who can't be changed and you might not see any humanity left in them at all.  On occasion you feel so overwhelmed with the misery around you that you see you feel like you simply can’t stomach it. That’s when you have to respect yourself enough to stay professional.  You can’t lose yourself.  If you do eventually all that negativity will turn into contempt and that can take you to a very dark place.

Fear and intimidation will only take you so far. Any cop that has worked the street for a while knows that. Policing is governed by 2 basic factors.  You having the authority to perform your duties and the community accepting that authority.  If the community doesn't believe you have the authority to do your job how you are doing it, then you've got a problem.  There are not enough rubber bullets and tear gas in the world to change that basic fact. That's why until they deal with their structural issues, the Ferguson police department will never be able to get the respect from the community they serve.  Definitely not just by lobbing tear gas at them and pointing sniper rifles at their heads.  Fear? Yes. Compliance? For a while. But genuine respect? Without a real commitment to changing the community's perception the only thing these tactics will do is harden resentment.  

Now for those people who say "if you just do what the cops tell you to do and your not doing anything wrong, you don't have anything to worry about",  I say they are absolutely correct, most of the time ..  But sometimes If you have the wrong situation and if you have the wrong officer then you might be ok IF you are the right color.

Just contrast what has happened in Ferguson Missouri to what happened last spring in Bunkerville Nevada. In Ferguson we had the police reaction to protesters.  In Bunkerville we had the protesters reaction to police. Two different groups of citizens with ostensibly the same 1st amendment issues but two drastically different reactions by the citizens and law enforcement.  Based on what I saw of the operation on TV it looked like a tactical nightmare.  I lost count of the problems that the agents faced when they went in to enforce a court order there.  Mostly I believe they gave this guy Bundy too many chances for too long.  When the BLM cops finally decided to go in there they weren't committed to whatever the plan was. That indicates a major leadership issue.  

I was completely stunned to see those officers surrounded by screaming people with assault rifles, a police dog getting kicked, and open defiance of verbal commands.  But when I saw that those officers had sniper rifles pointed at them I could not believe my eyes.  Snipers. On live TV.  Let me repeat that:

On the Bundy Ranch, armed protesters were violently obstructing law enforcement from performing their duties.  Sniper rifles were pointed at those law enforcement officers. Then those “snipers” openly gloated about how they had the agents in their sights the entire time. And what was the police response?  All out retreat.  Nobody was arrested. No tear gas deployed. No tanks were called in. No Snipers posted in the neighborhood. No rubber bullets fired. Nothing. Police officers in mortal danger met with heavily armed resistance and no one had to answer for it. Could any reasonable person look at scenes coming out of Nevada and say they looked peaceful?
Nobody called the armed protesters at the Bundy Ranch who threatened police thugs.
Nobody told them the government was supreme so they should just let the system work it out.  
Nobody told them to just shut up and do what they were told.

2 incidents, same laws, but 2 different sets of rules.

On a certain level I understand the retreat. Bundy was looking for a showdown. He wanted bloodshed. He was just using those people camped out on his lawn as cannon fodder, he had no real respect for them.  He just wanted to get out of paying his bills.  If actual shooting had occurred do you think Bundy or his sons would have led the patriot army in a revolt and stormed the battlements? Hell No. Clive Bundy and his family would have been on the first thing smoking out of Nevada and some poor idiot with a goatee and a Gadsden Flag shirt would have paid for Bundy’s hubris with their life. But thankfully that didn’t happen.  Once that dog whistle blew, people picked their side and the Bundy Ranch became a manifestation of all that pent up rage.  They even had law enforcement supporters there giving speeches about putting women and children out front to get shot by the Feds first. (That guy was an embarrassment to the profession.)

Bundy’s strategy was effective because sympathetic news outlets kept pumping him up as a patriotic conservative when in reality Bundy was not conservative and he definitely is not patriotic.  The man was just a welfare cowboy who had renounced his own country.  But facts didn’t matter.  Law enforcement let them off the hook and so did the media.  The press didn't call what those people did to those officers in Nevada a riot. But I haven’t seen any protesters in Ferguson hanging the American flag upside down, or renouncing their citizenship. I haven’t heard of any protest leaders on the street in Ferguson Missouri calling for the overthrow of the city council or the removal of the mayor by force. What about those “2nd amendment remedies” that politicians were hinting at 5 years ago? Just imagine if there were 150 black folks walking around Ferguson with assault rifles right now. Imagine if a couple of them took up sniper positions on the tops of buildings with their rifles pointed at the police officers.  Take a quick guess at how that story ends.

It's been exactly one year since I had to come to terms with the reality of my time in law enforcement.  The Zimmerman acquittal seems like a lifetime ago.  But it forced me to see what I didn't want to see.  I know now that an honest discussion about our criminal justice system is radioactive because race is a factor nobody wants to face.  But we need to face it and change it drastically.  As a police officer I struggled with that reality.  But I won't ignore it anymore.  I believe in this country. I believe in the nobility of the profession. I know we are better than this.

Perception

Check out the headlines at the end of this article.

This, too, says it all.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/08/14/media-black-victims_n_5673291.html?utm_hp_ref=black-voices

Proof

Just in case you thought my last post was an exercise in hyperbole, here's proof it wasn't.

http://www.msnbc.com/melissa-harris-perry/watch/the-deaths-of-black-men-in-america-318795331819

Race and Police in America

What happened in Ferguson, MO, with the police shooting of 18 year old Michael Brown, is a travesty.  The fact that it's getting as much air play as it is, is warranted and justified.

The mishandling of this young man's death was bungled from the beginning (as noted in my previous post), and the missteps keep coming.  The fact that the policeman who killed this young man was protected by the blue wall of silence, only aggravated an already volatile situation.

Here's what we know for sure.

This kind of thing didn't just happen this week.  Black and brown men have been beaten senseless and killed at the hands of over-zealous police officers for as long as this country has been in existence.

This is why, as black parents, we are negligent if we don't teach our sons how to stay alive when (not if - because it's sure to happen) they are pulled over by the police.

Now, like before, we hear this familiar refrain from police authorities . . .

The call for more diversity training.

This is useless.

Why?

Because there is a disconnect in the two communities that police training alone can not change.

First of all, the lives of men of color have to matter.  They have to be seen as valuable members of our society, worthy of help.  They have to be seen for what they are - fathers, sons, brothers, husbands, friends - human beings.  The policemen have to see themselves and their families when they look at our men.

Until the police can connect with men of color on this human level, we'll continue to see these senseless acts repeating themselves.

Our saving grace is the ubiquitous use of cell phone cameras, shedding light, that is being seen around the world, on what we've known for years.

The threat of foreign terrorists isn't alarming.  It's the home grown ones with badges that scares us the most.

Check out the video below.  It's powerful.

http://www.msnbc.com/all-in-with-chris-hayes/watch/the-paradox-of-race-in-america-317627459554

This Says It All

From the DailyKos

I rarely copy an article, usually opting to send the link only.  This time I've done both.  I didn't want you to miss this in your effort to link to it.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/08/16/1322091/-Dumbest-Police-Chief-in-America

SAT AUG 16, 2014 AT 04:20 AM PDT

Dumbest Police Chief in America

byExpatGirlFollow

  

I am scratching my head over how it is humanly possible to be as clueless as the St. Louis County and Ferguson police departments. To make one mistake is understandable but to have EVERYTHING you do be a complete fuck up is astounding.

1.    Officer kills an unarmed black teen in the street.
2.    Officer who kills the teenager requests assistance but does not inform his   commanders of what happened. Instead, they learn it on the news like everyone else.
3.    The scene is left in the hands of the officer’s own colleagues who allow the officer to leave the scene of the crime. His vehicle is also allowed to leave the scene – presumably breaking the integrity of the chain of evidence.
4.    Victim is left lying in the road for four hours – inflaming the community and presumably destroying evidence.
5.    Witnesses say that the killing officer never bothered to check for a pulse once his victim went down. None of the other officers arriving on the scene checked for a pulse. Bystanders in the medical field were not allowed to attempt CPR.
6.    Rumor has it that the cellphones of possible witnesses were confiscated.
7.    Police launch campaign to protect the officer at all costs - including the destruction of the community of Ferguson.
8.    Police launch a full military invasion of the traumatized town of Ferguson.
9.    Police caught on international TV screaming “Bring it! Bring it you fucking animals!”.
10.    The response to a community protesting police brutality is the imposition of ‘martial law’ complete with authoritarianism, tear gas, rubber bullets, flash grenades and sound grenades.
11.    Police throw the Constitution out the window and arrest, assault and teargas journalists.
12.    Police arrest a well-known public figure for the "crime" of "failing to listen".
13.    Chief of Police praises his officers for showing incredible restraint.
14.    After days of shocking behavior that caught the attention of the world, police finally release Killer Cop's name - while concurrently launching a smear campaign against his victim. This decision to reignite the fuse of the powder keg is not run up the chain of command - despite pledges from the Governor that there is a new Sheriff in town.
15.    Chief of Police specifically says that he is not interested in talking to the community he has been victimizing.
16.    Chief of Police holds multiple press conferences in which he contradicts himself repeatedly.
17.    Chief of Police makes a statement PRAISING the Killer Cop while concurrently smearing the dead teenaged victim at the center of the nation’s outrage.

"He was a gentle, quiet man," Police Chief Thomas Jackson said Friday, referring to Wilson. "He was a distinguished officer. He was a gentleman. ... He is, he has been, an excellent officer."
Police Chief Thomas Jackson, you have got to be the STUPIDEST MORON on the face of the planet. To call you “stupid” is in fact an insult to stupid people.
I hold you 100% responsible for every bit of this national tragedy.
YOU allowed a culture that has consistently dehumanized and discriminated against African Americans and, by so doing, YOU laid the groundwork for the murder of Michael Brown.
YOUR officers referred to a traumatized community as “fucking animals” on international TV.
YOU shielded a man who killed a fleeing teenager, at the expense of an entire community.
YOU have consistently demonstrated that you will go to almost any length to protect one of your own.
YOU have praised a killer and smeared a teenager whose biggest crime in life was possibly stealing a pack of cigarettes.
YOU threw the law out the window and declared war on the very people you are paid to serve and protect.
YOU have demonstrated that you are prepared to lie in order to protect a killer.
YOU are an asshole who should not be in any position of authority. You don’t have the sense or integrity to do the job required.

So many ways for you to have handled this tragedy and you, without fail, have consistently chosen the worst option.

This entire fiasco is like watching a modern day version of In the Heat of the Night. It is tragic and disgusting and infuriating.

Another One

There have been many tributes to Robin Williams, but this is one that I had not seen.

At the risk of sounding redundant, he was pure genius.

http://www.dailykos.com/story/2014/08/16/1322056/-The-Time-Robin-Williams-Puts-Dubya-McCain-Palin-To-Bed-VIDEO?detail=email#

Tree Art

Check out these stunning works of art made from trees.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/posttv/national/brzezinski-transforms-trees-into-art-with-a-chainsaw/2014/08/14/7419d566-232d-11e4-8b10-7db129976abb_video.html?tid=hp_mm&hpid=z2

It Works!

Here's a cool new way to teach kids how to tie their shoes, and it works!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gbaHxsilsKI

Our Ballerina

It's an absolute joy that little girls of color have Misty Copeland, this beautiful, talented young woman, to emulate and look up to.

Please share this with the young folks in your world, especially our kids of color.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T-VgXR_rl9U

Fixing What's Broke

This came via email.  I think it's worth passing on.

                                
                                             The Buffet Rule 

We must support this...pass it on and let’s see if these idiots understand what people pressure is all about. 

Salary of retired US Presidents . . . . . . . . . .. . $180,000 FOR LIFE 
  
Salary of House/Senate members . . . . . . . . . . $174,000 FOR LIFE This is stupid 
  
Salary of Speaker of the House . . . . . . . . . . . . $223,500 FOR LIFE This is really stupid 
  
Salary of Majority/Minority Leaders . . . . . . . . . $193,400 FOR LIFE Ditto last line 
  
Average Salary of a teacher . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .$40,065 
  
Average Salary of a deployed Soldier . . . . . . . . $38,000 
  
I think we found where the cuts should be made! If you agree pass it on, I just did. 
  
Warren Buffet, in a recent interview with CNBC, offers one of the best quotes about the debt ceiling: 
  
"I could end the deficit in 5 minutes," he told CNBC. "You just pass a law that says that anytime there is a deficit of more than 3% of GDP, all sitting members of Congress are ineligible for re-election. 
  
The 26th amendment (granting the right to vote for 18 year-olds) took only 3 months & 8 days to be ratified! Why? Simple! The people demanded it. That was in 1971 - before computers, e-mail, cell phones, etc. 
  
Of the 27 amendments to the Constitution, seven (7) took one (1) year or less to become the law of the land - all because of public pressure. 
  
Warren Buffet is asking each addressee to forward this email to a minimum of twenty people on their address list; in turn ask each of those to do likewise. 
  
In three days, most people in The United States of America will have the message. This is one idea that really should be passed around. 
  
Congressional Reform Act of 2014 
  
1. No Tenure / No Pension. 
  
A Congressman/woman collects a salary while in office and receives no pay when they're out of office. 
  
2. Congress (past, present & future) participates in Social Security. 
  
All funds in the Congressional retirement fund move to the Social Security system immediately. All future funds flow into the Social Security system, and Congress participates with the American people. It may not be used for any other purpose. 
  
3. Congress can purchase their own retirement plan, just as all Americans do. 
  
4. Congress will no longer vote themselves a pay raise. Congressional pay will rise by the lower of CPI or 3%. 
  
5. Congress loses their current health care system and participates in the same health care system as the American people. 
  
6. Congress must equally abide by all laws they impose on the American people. 
  
7. All contracts with past and present Congressmen/women are void effective 12/1/14. The American people did not make this contract with Congressmen/women. 
  
Congress made all these contracts for themselves. Serving in Congress is an honor, not a career. The Founding Fathers envisioned citizen legislators, so ours should serve their term(s), then go home and back to work. 
  
If each person contacts a minimum of twenty people then it will only take three days for most people (in the U.S.) to receive the message. Don't you think it's time? 
  
THIS IS HOW YOU FIX CONGRESS! 
  
If you agree, pass it on. If not, delete. 
  
You are one of my 20+ - Please keep it going, and thanks

A Compelling Message on Depression

From the outside looking in, it looks like some people have the world on a string, and yet they still suffer from depression.

I can't begin to understand this.  Why it happens at all, or why it happens to folks you least expect, and the ones who are really suffering and should be down, aren't.

What makes some susceptible and others not?

I can't explain it, but this guy brings it home and makes it real.

Take the three minutes to hear what he has to say.

It's a lifesaving message.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HUHcc7ipGt0#t=212

More Steve Maraboli Quotes

“Stop trying to 'fix' yourself; you're NOT broken! You are perfectly imperfect and powerful beyond measure.”

“The truth is, unless you let go, unless you forgive yourself, unless you forgive the situation, unless you realize that the situation is over, you cannot move forward.”

“I want to be in a relationship where you telling me you love me is just a ceremonious validation of what you already show me.”

“Letting go means to come to the realization that some people are a part of your history, but not a part of your destiny.”

“When in a relationship, a real man doesn't make his woman jealous of others, he makes others jealous of his woman.”

“I want to live my life in such a way that when I get out of bed in the morning, the devil says, "aw shit, he's up!”

“Most haters are stuck in a poisonous mental prison of jealousy and self-doubt that blinds them to their own potentiality.”

“You are beautiful. Know this. Anyone who tells you otherwise is simply lying. You are beautiful.”

And my favorite so far . . .

“Don’t tell me about your god with your words. Show me about your god with your actions.” 

Liberating!

I just discovered this guy, Steve Maraboli, a motivational speaker, from a romance novel no less!  His quote below is absolutely liberating.

Get Off The Scale!

You are beautiful. Your beauty, just like your capacity for life, happiness, and success, is immeasurable. Day after day, countless people across the globe get on a scale in search of validation of beauty and social acceptance.

Get off the scale! I have yet to see a scale that can tell you how enchanting your eyes are. I have yet to see a scale that can show you how wonderful your hair looks when the sun shines its glorious rays on it. I have yet to see a scale that can thank you for your compassion, sense of humor, and contagious smile. Get off the scale because I have yet to see one that can admire you for your perseverance when challenged in life.

It’s true, the scale can only give you a numerical reflection of your relationship with gravity. That’s it. It cannot measure beauty, talent, purpose, life force, possibility, strength, or love. Don’t give the scale more power than it has earned. Take note of the number, then get off the scale and live your life. You are beautiful!” 

This is a powerful message!

With as much time, energy, effort and money I've spent on trying to loose weight and keep it off over the years, I could have easily finance a kid's college education.

Very recently I've decided to love myself, totally and completely, warts and all.

I decided to dress the me that I am, and no longer fret about the me I wish to be.

I decided to stop beating myself up because of the numbers on the scale.

I decided, that as long as I'm healthy, free of chronic sickness and disease, I would be grateful for my body, instead of living in the constant condemnation because I've come up short of what I think I should be.

I decided to be free . . .

And love myself just the way I am.

Thankful

Well, damn.

No sooner than I clicked "publish" on my last post about my oldest brother not making an effort to see me on my visit to the US, both Ben and Frankie wrote to tell me to get over it.

They reminded me of the many posts on forgiveness that I've written about, and compared to those, implied that my most recent one was dripping in hypocrisy.

OK.  They didn't say it like that, but that was the gist of the message.

I thank God for my guys because they wasted no time calling me on the carpet.

And, of course, they were right.

Although it wasn't something I wanted to hear, it was something I needed to hear.

I have held on to these negative feelings for far too long.  The only thing/person that was guaranteed to change in this situation was me, if I was mature enough to do so.  It's a choice I had to make to make this right, or at least better.

So, like when I had to let go of ill will in reference to my ex-husband, I made the overture.

As with him, it doesn't matter if my brother and his wife respond, or what the response might be.  I did what I needed to do to move on.

You know, I could save myself a lot of grief and a ton of embarrassment, if I didn't share so much,  but I do it in the hopes of helping someone to avoid the mistakes I've made.

Who knows?

Maybe it simply is just TMI (too much information).

Anyway, like I said, I'm thankful.

For my guys for setting me straight, and for a great trip home.

And, as always, I'm thankful to you too, for taking this journey with me.

20,482

This number represents the miles traveled this month on my journey from the UAE to the US, and back to Abu Dhabi.

I added up the miles when, for the second year in a row, my oldest brother chose not to make it (across town last year, or the 75 miles or so this year), to see me. The distance in miles from Abu Dhabi to London to New York City, to San Francisco, and to Houston is 11,627.

By my calculations, I traveled far more than halfway to see him.

Of course, he had excuses each time.

However, he was neither deathly ill, nor was he running from the FBI.  These being the only valid excuses in my book.

He called to say he couldn't make, but he did remember my birthday (August 5th). That should count for something, but somehow it rings hollow.

It would be easy to blame his wife, who is "wicked" personified, but this failure falls squarely on him.

I realize that there are times when it's easier to ignore family and friends to keep the peace in relationships and marriages, but when you see yourself being coerced/forced and isolated from your world (your Mom, Dad, brother(s), sister(s), or friends), something is wrong with that picture.  Unless, of course, your world was filled with illegal or immoral things, but that's another issue for another time.

What I'm talking about now is control.

Having a mate who totally and completely controls what you do, where you go, and who you see, is madness.  Loving someone means trusting them.  When that trust is violated, make some noise, work it out or walk away.

Don't stand in the way of someone seeing their family because you're pissed at them, and by proxy, their family.

That solves nothing, but only compounds the problem.

Instead of trying to keep your significant other away from their family, encourage them to see them, even if you don't go.  Don't be the reason they drift away.

For me . . .

20, 482 miles was a long way to travel to be stood up.

The Luck of the Irish

Greetings from Dublin.

I made a quick stop here to break up the long trip from the US back to the UAE.

I was out and about today and took a lot of pictures, but they can not capture the charm and beauty of this very lovely city.

It's old, but well-preserved and incredibly quaint.  It seems to be made for walking. Many streets were covered with pedestrians.

The people that I met have been so warm, friendly and helpful.

The Irish that I've met in Abu Dhabi are some of the nicest people you want to meet, and they seem to be a true reflection of this country.

My morning started late, as I was recovering from the all night flight from Houston. Once up and about, I hopped on a tour bus and marveled at the views of the city.

I ended my tour at the Guinness, St. James Gate Brewery, where the world famous beer is made.  It sits on 62 acres, and is truly massive.  It takes up many city blocks.  The tour itself was a bit disappointing.  I was hoping to see the actual process of how the beer is made.  I assumed it would be like the wine making tours of Napa, but it was not.  Basically it was video tour with a huge souvenir shop at the end.  No matter.  I had a good time nonetheless.

I opted to walk back to the hotel from the brewery, maybe 8-10 blocks.  It was a lovely stroll.  The temperature was sweater weather, like San Francisco, about 65 degrees.  Absolutely perfect!

This is a place I'd like to see again.

This is right outside my hotel window.

The sign is hard to read,
but it's for The Old Jameson Distillery,
founded in 1780 and active until 1971.

Street view

Street view 2

These are online photos that captured what I saw.

Another online photo.

This is in the heart of the city.

Impressive government (?) building

Beautiful monument in the heart of the city, too.

One of the many pubs

Another stately building

This guy's shirt says,
"Drinking doesn't cause hangovers,
Waking up does!"

I found this picture online.  It was better than mine.

Also an online shot.

This is inside the brewery.  It was founded in 1759.

This is an incredible man-made
rushing waterfall in the brewery.

Barrels of beer in the brewery.

This is also in the brewery.
I think it's suppose to represent a glass of beer,
but I could be totally wrong.

This church has the highest steeple in Dublin.

A close-up of the church above.

Who Knew?

That cows like music, or more specifically, trombone music?

They start to show up at the 1:18 mark.

Fascinating.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qs_-emj1qR4

Impressive!

Actually, impressive doesn't begin to describe this young man and his accomplishments thus far.

Watch the video clip.  It is well worth the five minutes.

http://www.upworthy.com/a-senator-tells-this-student-not-to-be-nervous-this-student-smiles-it-off-and-blows-everyone-away?c=upw1

Cool Shoes

These shoes are featured in the August issue of Oprah magazine.  They're ballet flats in school colors.  Sixty-three colleges and universities are represented with the schools' insignia on the bow.  My school wasn't listed, but I found the right colors and bought a pair.  They're well made and really comfortable.

Just in time for football season.

I know.

I know.

I'm working on weaning myself off football.

Enjoy the shoes while I deal with my guilt.

http://www.lillybee.com/u-of-miami/

The Godfather and the Reverend

I always wondered about the relationship between the late Godfather of Soul, James Brown, and the Reverend Al Sharpton.  The article below sheds some light on it.

http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2014/08/james_brown_al_sharpton_interview_on_his_relationship_with_the_singer.html?wpisrc=newsletter_jcr:content&mc_cid=ccde52ccc2&mc_eid=ac9b7800d4

Hangin' in Houston

Yesterday I saw a dear friend who I've known all of my life.  We were next door neighbors.  She is a week older than me.  Her folks had two boys and she was the first girl, so there was serious excitement when she was born.  A week later, the scenario repeated itself.  My folks had three boys, and then I came along.  Word is, they were pretty excited when I arrived, too.

Isn't it interesting how easy some friendships are to keep, no matter the length of time between chats or the distance between you?

That's how it is with Betty.

We don't miss a beat.  It's like we're still in the back yard talking over the fence.

The older I get, the more I appreciate this kind of friendship.

Here's wishing you the richness that true friendship brings.

As promised, here's some pictures from my summer travels, thus far.

I'm in front of the Space Shuttle.  This is at NASA in Houston.

The 747 that the Space Shuttle rode piggyback on.

This is the ceiling of Bubba's, a fabulous Houston area restaurant
featuring shrimp dishes.  Note that it's made of doors.

Me at the Kemah Boardwalk.

The coolest little building that sits on a corner
by itself.  It's a law office.  It's in Kemah, TX.

Zadie and I being silly,
on our way to Prospect Park in New York City.

This is my niece Alisha, Zadie and I in Harlem.

Milu is holding new shoes.  Baby girl is already a serious shopper.

Having fun with some of my dear Sac friends.