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Thursday, August 7, 2014

20,482

This number represents the miles traveled this month on my journey from the UAE to the US, and back to Abu Dhabi.

I added up the miles when, for the second year in a row, my oldest brother chose not to make it (across town last year, or the 75 miles or so this year), to see me. The distance in miles from Abu Dhabi to London to New York City, to San Francisco, and to Houston is 11,627.

By my calculations, I traveled far more than halfway to see him.

Of course, he had excuses each time.

However, he was neither deathly ill, nor was he running from the FBI.  These being the only valid excuses in my book.

He called to say he couldn't make, but he did remember my birthday (August 5th). That should count for something, but somehow it rings hollow.

It would be easy to blame his wife, who is "wicked" personified, but this failure falls squarely on him.

I realize that there are times when it's easier to ignore family and friends to keep the peace in relationships and marriages, but when you see yourself being coerced/forced and isolated from your world (your Mom, Dad, brother(s), sister(s), or friends), something is wrong with that picture.  Unless, of course, your world was filled with illegal or immoral things, but that's another issue for another time.

What I'm talking about now is control.

Having a mate who totally and completely controls what you do, where you go, and who you see, is madness.  Loving someone means trusting them.  When that trust is violated, make some noise, work it out or walk away.

Don't stand in the way of someone seeing their family because you're pissed at them, and by proxy, their family.

That solves nothing, but only compounds the problem.

Instead of trying to keep your significant other away from their family, encourage them to see them, even if you don't go.  Don't be the reason they drift away.

For me . . .

20, 482 miles was a long way to travel to be stood up.






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