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Saturday, November 17, 2012

Another . . . Ted Talk

This talk is from a young poet name Sarah Kay (#8) and is from a list of talks that Ben Affleck appreciates.

The poem she begins with is riveting.  For those of you who know me, you know I'm not usually a fan of poetry because most times I just don't understand it.  This one I get.  I hope you do too.

http://www.ted.com/playlists/32/ben_affleck_8_talks_that_amaz.html

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Living With A Drunk

Tomorrow New Year's is celebrated here, so we get the day off.  As a treat, I decided to go to the movies.  I was surprised that Denzel Washington's new movie, "Flight" was showing, so of course, that was my first choice.

I promise not to give anything away if you haven't seen it and plan to, but there are a couple of things about it that caught my attention.

Denzel plays a pilot who does an extraordinary job of landing a plane, and was considered a hero until it was discovered he was high on drugs and alcohol during that fateful flight.

As most of you know, my ex-husband was a commercial pilot, and my father was an alcoholic, so I could relate on several levels.

About three-fourths of the way through the movie though, I got up to leave.  Things were spiraling out of control, and it was like watching a train wreck.  In retrospect, I'm glad I stayed through to the end, but it wasn't easy.

At 56, when I see people drinking, social or otherwise, I'm taken back to that place when I was a kid, when I would stay up with my mom, as we waited for my father to get home.  We knew he would be drunk, we just didn't know how drunk.  Flat out pissy drunk was best because then he would stumble in the house and sleep it off. Of course, not before he vomited all over himself and the house.  It was my job to clean it up while mom wrestled him to bed.  This went on for years and years.  If he had not reached that total level of drunkenness when he walked through the door, he was mean and nasty and horrible to be around.

I was home from college one time, and it was time to return.  We had little money, so I would be returning to Florida the way I came, by Greyhound Bus.  This was one of those times when daddy was pissy drunk.  Mom didn't come to see me off because she was afraid to ride with him this drunk, and she was dependent on him because she couldn't drive.  I was able to drive myself to the bus station, while he rode shotgun. We got there fine and I went inside to wait, when I looked up, he's standing in the doorway with his pants around his ankles.

Embarrassment dosen't begin to describe that scene.

It's memories like these that I carry with me.

So, watching this movie was tough.  It took me back to a place I never what to be.

As proud as I am of Ben and Frankie, it broke my heart to see them drinking.  In the real scheme of things, this may seem small, but because of my experiences, this was huge.  I felt like I failed them because clearly I hadn't done enough to convey the dangers of alcohol to themselves and others.  Even though they knew my experiences well, it wasn't enough to deter them.

Are my guys lushes?  No, thank God, but in my mind, drinking one drop of liquor is one too many.

As I've said many times before, the way we're raised impacts everything about us - good or bad.


At 56, my memories of living with a drunk are still very fresh, even though we're talking of my earliest memories, beginning more than 50 years ago.


Although many of the people in my world drink, I will never be one of them.  I can thank my father for that.



Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Last One

I know you are probably completely fed up with the presidential election and all that that entailed, but below is a link to a fascinating article, again in the New York Times, that tells how the Obama campaign used psychologists and others in the social sciences to win this election.

This makes their services quite intriguing.  I should have paid more attention to them when I was in college.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/13/health/dream-team-of-behavioral-scientists-advised-obama-campaign.html?src=me&ref=general

Monday, November 12, 2012

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Below is the link for a great New York Times article on listening.

Very interesting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/11/opinion/sunday/why-listening-is-so-much-more-than-hearing.html?src=me&ref=general

Sunday, November 11, 2012

Marriage Advice

Not from me!

Sounds like this lady was much better at it than me.

I liked 7 and 9.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/25-years-of-marriage_b_2101331.html?utm_hp_ref=fifty

Time is Precious

Have you ever been in a three hour meeting, with an agenda, that produced no results?

None?

Absolutely none?

Have you ever been in a meeting where there was really just one thing that needed to be decided, and three hours later, you walked out without that information?

Time is Precious.

Yours.

Mine.

Ours.

We should strive to use it wisely.

Sure, they'll be goof off days.  We all need those every now and then.

But, seriously, I know I'm preaching to the choir when I say, time wasted is time lost.

One of my illustrious leaders was chronically late to meetings.  After getting upset about it, we decided to place bets on what time we thought he would arrive.  The bets were 50 cents, and the biggest haul was $4.50.

Was it wrong to place a bet?

Maybe, but it sure made the wait time much easier to deal with.

What's really important here is how little regard this man had for our time.  His was the only one that mattered.

I believe we need to honor people's time.

I had a policy -

Meetings started on time and ended on time.

No meeting was held if there wasn't anything new to share.

If you were late or missed a meeting, you were responsible for the content.

There was purpose.

There was an agenda

And

We followed it.

If action were needed, it happened.

I'd like to think the meetings, and the way they were executed, were valuable for everyone.  They were definitely valuable to me.

That just it - leader sets the tone.

Sometime that tone is succinct.

Other times, it's long-winded, convoluted, and tortuous.

Friday, November 9, 2012

Nighttime & Good Music

A city looks very different at night.

I rarely enjoy the distinction because my goal is always to be home before sunset.

A couple of days ago, I ran an errand after dark.

Unimpressive store fronts, in seedy neighborhoods, came alive in the glow of the bright lights.  They were suddenly inviting and charming.

Funny, how that is.

Side note -

I was just sharing with a friend today, that I have heard rhythm and blues music every place I've visited.  It's a universal language all its own.

Speaking of music -

I just downloaded Jason Gould's album.  He's Barbra Streisand's son.  I don't know why, but I was surprised at how wonderful his voice is.  He has great genes and destiny on his side.

I was also introduced to John Boutte, a vocalist from New Orleans.  For those of you who are familiar with "Treme" on HBO, he sings the theme song.  His album entitled "Jambalaya" is a keeper.

If you're 35 or younger, you're probably rolling your eyes at these musical mentions. But I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you've heard some music from some youngsters (younger than you) that you think is less than brilliant.  This is a cycle that just keeps repeating itself.  The older we get, the more pronounced it is.

Side note 2 -

For those of you who have friends and relatives scattered about, let me encourage you to try Google Video Chat.  It's an awesome way to keep in touch.

They should pay me for this.

Side note 3 -

Now that the time has changed in the US, we're back to it being a 12-hour difference in time between here and the West Coast.

So, it's almost bedtime for me, but a brand new day for you.

Make the most of it.



  

Thursday, November 8, 2012

Headlines the Day After

The US Presidential Elections made the headlines here.  Below is the article.

http://www.thenational.ae/news/world/middle-east/middle-east-and-north-africa-hopeful-at-obamas-re-election?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Daily%2BNewsletter%2B08-11-2012

Great Quote

From David Simon, as seen on Andrew Sullivan's blog, The Dish.

This election marks a moment in which the racial and social hierarchy of America is upended forever. No longer will it mean more politically to be a white male than to be anything else.

Evolve, or don’t.

Swallow your resentments, or don’t.

But the votes are going to be counted, more of them with each election. Arizona will soon be in play. And in a few cycles, even Texas.

And those wishing to hold national office in these United States will find it increasingly useless to argue for normal, to attempt to play one minority against each other, to turn pluralities against the feared “other” of gays, or blacks, or immigrants, or, incredibly in this election cycle, our very wives and lovers and daughters, fellow citizens who demand to control their own bodies.

Books

I've always loved to read.

As I've shared before, my father was illiterate and my mother only went to the third grade, but they both valued education, and my brothers and I benefited greatly from that mindset.

We lived in a really rural area - China, Texas, population 1100, then and now - and depended heavily on the postal service for things that we needed because Momma couldn't drive.

Somehow, she was turned on to Readers' Digest, and order magazines and books from them, religiously.  This she did for me.  Mom knew that reading was the escape I needed from the loneliness of life in China.

It thrills me to no end that both Ben and Frankie are avid readers.  They weren't growing up, so seeing them devouring books now, and hearing them discussing recent reads, warms my heart.

There is a statewide initiative to promote reading here.  This is interesting because - I'm about to paint with a broad brush, which I should never do, but . . . , this is not a particularly literate country.  Remember, it's a young country, only 41 years old, as of December 2nd, and I think that is part of the issue.

So, we're trying to impress upon the kids that reading is important, but they rarely see adults reading, for pleasure or for information.

Libraries are non-existent.

It's rare to see any locals reading the paper or magazines, at Starbucks or other coffee shops.

So, how do get a nation to read?

One book at a time, I suppose.

Anyway, I was thinking about this as I was reading the following article on why we take books on vacation.

I enjoyed it.  I hope you do, too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-losowsky/why-do-we-always-take-books-vacation_b_2089999.html#slide=1620672

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

Four Years Ago

Election night four years ago was extraordinary on so many levels.

Tonight, it's no less exhilarating, but in different ways.

When I left for work this morning, the polls were just closing, and it wasn't looking good for President Obama.  Thank God for alerts keeping us in the loop throughout the morning.  Those of us here from the US were waiting with great anticipation for the final word.  When it came, there were quiet moments of rejoicing.

Interestingly, the election made headline news again, but the wave of anticipation, so palatable in America, was not present in our world at school.

Was I silly to expect it?

Probably.

Although I'm grateful to have missed the bombardment of ads that flooded the airways, I am missing the excitement of this win that I know is real in many corners of the US.

Here's hoping that the members of Congress, who have been stuck on stupid/no for the past four years, will wake up and realize we want them to work for our interests, not theirs.

Here's hoping the next four years will be the best four years . . . ever.

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Appreciating Our Uniqueness

This is an interesting article about raising kids who are different from what we would consider the norm.  It was found in New York Times today.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/05/embracing-children-for-who-they-are/?src=me&ref=general

Decisions. Decisions.

It's 8:30 at night here on election night, but the polls are just opening in the US.

It will be morning before we have the results.

Here's hoping for the best, whoever your choice may be.


Sunday, November 4, 2012

Here's the Link

I forgot to include the link on the previous post.  Here it is -

http://www.ted.com/talks/brian_goldman_doctors_make_mistakes_can_we_talk_about_that.html

Another TEDxTalk - Medical Mistakes

I appreciate this doctor's honesty and openness. 

Friday, November 2, 2012

Cost of a Camel

The question of how much a camel cost has come up several times.  I'm not sure what the typical cost is, but there have been some hefty prices paid in the past.

Check out the article below.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8496766.stm

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Headline News

I was at a meeting today, and several of my Arab colleagues asked about the weather on the East Coast, with Hurricane Sandy barreling down.  This was the headline in our local paper today.

When I was in Jaipur, the headline one day had a picture of President Obama and Mitt Romney, with a long article on the upcoming elections.

It seems that big news in the US, is big news everywhere.

Here's wishing everyone in Sandy's path, safety and protection.

Religion on Display

Many folks in India had a colored mark on their foreheads from a daily prayer ritual, or they were wearing the red dots (present on both men and women), signifying focused thought during prayer.

Here, you see Muslim men with a dark spot on their foreheads from kneeling and touching the ground when they pray five times a day.

Oftentimes, I see people reading from their holy scriptures, and of course, I would be out of place to judge, but I wonder sometimes if they are doing it to gather a deeper understanding of their God, or are they doing it because it looks impressive?

Of course, the folks in these parts, as well as many other places - I'm guessing - also dress in such a way as to express their "holiness" or their faith.

Sometimes, it seems like folks are trying to outdo each other in "showing" or "proving" how religious they are.

When you see this kind of behavior, do you gravitate to them, or are you repelled by them?

New Delhi - A Tale of Two Cities

The train ride from Jaisalmer to New Delhi, that I expecting to take 17 hours, took 19 instead.  Flying was not an option because there is no airport in this town.  Believe me when I say, I was a tired momma when I got off that puppy.

There was a communication snafu, and I was not met at the station, and had to get a taxi to the hotel. Then, the hotel didn't have a record of my reservation.  I was tired and my patience - short, but thankfully it all got sorted out pretty quickly.

After that incredibly long ride, the shower I took when I arrived at the hotel, was heavenly.  The hotel was booked for one day, an afternoon really, just long enough to shower and change.  This arrangement reminded me of hookers and the hotel rooms many use by the hour, or so I hear.  Of course, there was no "hooking up" or entertaining "johns" in my world.

I promise, you'll be the first to know if there ever is a "hook up" with my name on it, or is this considered "to much information?"

OK.

OK.

Moving on - 

Allow me to step back for a minute -

When I arrived in New Delhi by air, I saw the glitzy part of town.  Coming into the city via the train, I saw the real, extraordinary poverty that was portrayed in the movie, Slumdog Millionaire."







The difference was striking.

Shangri-La Hotel, was next door to the one where I stayed.
I couldn't find a picture of that one,
but this is a good representation of how swanky they are.

A view of the lobby.

The posh part of town looks like any other big city in the world.  There is a heavy British influence, with driving on the left and the presence of roundabouts, but go across town, and it's a totally different story.

What is fascinating is that the locals know what kind of accommodations the Western folks are used to, and it appears they strive to cater to this clientele.  The hotels catering to us, have all of the amenities you would expect.

At the swanky hotels that I visited, when we drove up, we were greeted by armed guards who scanned the cars for bombs.  I asked about why they felt the need to do this, but never got a straight answer.

Changing gears, again -

Getting though the airport took way more effort than it should have.  First, there are armed guards (again!) at every entrance and you have to present your ticket and passport or airport ID, before you were allowed entrance.

Then, it took forever an a day to be waited on at the ticket counter.  There were only four people ahead of me and they were traveling together, but their papers were checked, rechecked, and checked again.

I moved over to another counter and that helped.

I was handed name tags to put on my carry ons, although my things were already tagged.  When I asked why they needed these, I was told they were a part of the security check.

The metal detector I had to go through was for women only.  We went behind closed doors and we were padded down.  The guys weren't subjected to this, not sure why.

Side note - There was a guy waiting for the same flight as me, who reminded me of Pat Boone. If you don't know who Pat Boone is, stop reading now.  This means I really am old, and there really is such a thing as a "generation gap."  Anyway, my guy was dressed in a white shirt, with white slacks, and white shoes, and for good measure, he had on sunglasses trimmed - yep - in white, too.  He was a very brown Pat Boone lookalike.

Now, some more random thoughts -

Babies heads, both boys' and girls', are shaved when they are about a year old, and again when they are three.  It has something to do with cleansing them from the birth canal.  I think this practice is derived from the Hindu religion.

Another thing -

I have never seen so many brown teeth, as I have since moving here, and in all of my travels, since this move.  Dental care around the parts of the world that I've seen, is incredibly poor.  One of my guides this time stood out because his smile was white, and by contrast to all the others, beautiful.

Speaking of beautiful, India has some of the most attractive people I've encountered, bad teeth notwithstanding.

Overall, it was a wonderful trip.

Thanks for taking it with me.

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner?


Cows.

Yes.

Cows.

Jaisalmer is a desert area and there is no grass for the cows to eat, so for the families who own a cow, they cook as if there was another person to feed, with the extra meals going to the cow.  These are milk cows, that provide the milk that the family needs, wants, or sells.

Cows chillin' in the street.


The cows are fat here, so clearly they're enjoying the grub.

I stumbled upon the act that this nation is a nation of vegetarians.  I inquired about it at the first hotel, and asked one of my guides for more details. Interestingly, he said that neither meat or fish of any kind, was eaten.  He had tasted chicken, but his mother and wife had never had.

Fascinating.

I saw wild pigs several times.  They don't eat these either, but I'm not sure what the benefit was for having them around.

Here's another cow resting.

Here are the pigs resting in squalor.

There is a canal in this desert, and there were schools of catfish, but people just feed them bread and the Hindu Priests give them brightly wrapped spices in balls. These looked like part favors.


The canal is to the left.

Another view of the canal.

Every doorway to homes and business had two chili peppers tied to a lemon, with five more peppers below that.  Every Sunday the folks put these in their doorways for good luck.  They throw the old ones in the street, and replace them with fresh ones.  It's a Hindu practice for good luck.

There are people under these sheds that
are shaping hot iron into knifes and tools - blacksmiths.


I slept like a rock last night.  The hotel is small and sparse, but it's clean and the folks are friendly.

I went to bed really early because I was really tired.  I woke up early, but went right back to sleep.  Besides taking a walk to a fruit stand, I've stayed inside all day.  I'll leave the hotel at about 4:00 heading for the train station.

This is a palace.

This is a view of the palace
where the royal family currently live.

I'm writing every day, but can't post because there's no Internet service.  This is a real rural area.  I saw a woman ironing with a coal iron.  There was a large area, about two inches, from the handle section to the iron plates.  In the middle there were holes for the coals to be placed and burned.

In many ways, it's like walking back in time.

This is a cool display of rifles.
This is at the palace, too.


Final note - I needed to make a local call, and my guide took me to an S. T. D.  Not sure what that stands for, but it was a telephone booth.  The room was the size of a booth as you might remember, but this one had a dirty plastic chair, and a regular looking desk phone sitting on a small shelf.  My guide placed the call, and a LCD sign above the phone lit up showing the number that we were calling and then a meter replaced the number and it was tallying the total due.  It cost less than five rupees (about 9 cents), to make a 10 minute call.

Last thing - about half of the town lives in a fort that dates back 1100 years.  It began with the people who served the royal family living along side them, and they stayed after the big wigs left.

I guess I'm living the black version of Eat, Pray, Love, minus the love part.

As always, thanks for taking this ride with me.