Great Advice

Be Yourself.

Quick, powerful message.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOkFfvTGuGk&feature=em-subs_digest

Really?

What we can learn from rappers.

Intriguing.

From Salon.com

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/18/what_can_we_learn_from_freestyle_rappers/?source=newsletter

Insights on Addiction

From Slate.com

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/longform/2012/11/addiction_great_magazine_articles_about_smoking_drinking_and_playing_poker.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

Not a Fan of Gaming, But . . .

Kids who play video games regularly did better than medical students when tested in robotics.  The article comes from the Huffington Post.

Take a look.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/16/video-game-effects-teen-g_n_2147062.html

Another . . . Ted Talk

This talk is from a young poet name Sarah Kay (#8) and is from a list of talks that Ben Affleck appreciates.

The poem she begins with is riveting.  For those of you who know me, you know I'm not usually a fan of poetry because most times I just don't understand it.  This one I get.  I hope you do too.

http://www.ted.com/playlists/32/ben_affleck_8_talks_that_amaz.html

Living With A Drunk

Tomorrow New Year's is celebrated here, so we get the day off.  As a treat, I decided to go to the movies.  I was surprised that Denzel Washington's new movie, "Flight" was showing, so of course, that was my first choice.

I promise not to give anything away if you haven't seen it and plan to, but there are a couple of things about it that caught my attention.

Denzel plays a pilot who does an extraordinary job of landing a plane, and was considered a hero until it was discovered he was high on drugs and alcohol during that fateful flight.

As most of you know, my ex-husband was a commercial pilot, and my father was an alcoholic, so I could relate on several levels.

About three-fourths of the way through the movie though, I got up to leave.  Things were spiraling out of control, and it was like watching a train wreck.  In retrospect, I'm glad I stayed through to the end, but it wasn't easy.

At 56, when I see people drinking, social or otherwise, I'm taken back to that place when I was a kid, when I would stay up with my mom, as we waited for my father to get home.  We knew he would be drunk, we just didn't know how drunk.  Flat out pissy drunk was best because then he would stumble in the house and sleep it off. Of course, not before he vomited all over himself and the house.  It was my job to clean it up while mom wrestled him to bed.  This went on for years and years.  If he had not reached that total level of drunkenness when he walked through the door, he was mean and nasty and horrible to be around.

I was home from college one time, and it was time to return.  We had little money, so I would be returning to Florida the way I came, by Greyhound Bus.  This was one of those times when daddy was pissy drunk.  Mom didn't come to see me off because she was afraid to ride with him this drunk, and she was dependent on him because she couldn't drive.  I was able to drive myself to the bus station, while he rode shotgun. We got there fine and I went inside to wait, when I looked up, he's standing in the doorway with his pants around his ankles.

Embarrassment dosen't begin to describe that scene.

It's memories like these that I carry with me.

So, watching this movie was tough.  It took me back to a place I never what to be.

As proud as I am of Ben and Frankie, it broke my heart to see them drinking.  In the real scheme of things, this may seem small, but because of my experiences, this was huge.  I felt like I failed them because clearly I hadn't done enough to convey the dangers of alcohol to themselves and others.  Even though they knew my experiences well, it wasn't enough to deter them.

Are my guys lushes?  No, thank God, but in my mind, drinking one drop of liquor is one too many.

As I've said many times before, the way we're raised impacts everything about us - good or bad.


At 56, my memories of living with a drunk are still very fresh, even though we're talking of my earliest memories, beginning more than 50 years ago.


Although many of the people in my world drink, I will never be one of them.  I can thank my father for that.

Last One

I know you are probably completely fed up with the presidential election and all that that entailed, but below is a link to a fascinating article, again in the New York Times, that tells how the Obama campaign used psychologists and others in the social sciences to win this election.

This makes their services quite intriguing.  I should have paid more attention to them when I was in college.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/13/health/dream-team-of-behavioral-scientists-advised-obama-campaign.html?src=me&ref=general

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Below is the link for a great New York Times article on listening.

Very interesting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/11/opinion/sunday/why-listening-is-so-much-more-than-hearing.html?src=me&ref=general

Marriage Advice

Not from me!

Sounds like this lady was much better at it than me.

I liked 7 and 9.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/25-years-of-marriage_b_2101331.html?utm_hp_ref=fifty

Time is Precious

Have you ever been in a three hour meeting, with an agenda, that produced no results?

None?

Absolutely none?

Have you ever been in a meeting where there was really just one thing that needed to be decided, and three hours later, you walked out without that information?

Time is Precious.

Yours.

Mine.

Ours.

We should strive to use it wisely.

Sure, they'll be goof off days.  We all need those every now and then.

But, seriously, I know I'm preaching to the choir when I say, time wasted is time lost.

One of my illustrious leaders was chronically late to meetings.  After getting upset about it, we decided to place bets on what time we thought he would arrive.  The bets were 50 cents, and the biggest haul was $4.50.

Was it wrong to place a bet?

Maybe, but it sure made the wait time much easier to deal with.

What's really important here is how little regard this man had for our time.  His was the only one that mattered.

I believe we need to honor people's time.

I had a policy -

Meetings started on time and ended on time.

No meeting was held if there wasn't anything new to share.

If you were late or missed a meeting, you were responsible for the content.

There was purpose.

There was an agenda

And

We followed it.

If action were needed, it happened.

I'd like to think the meetings, and the way they were executed, were valuable for everyone.  They were definitely valuable to me.

That just it - leader sets the tone.

Sometime that tone is succinct.

Other times, it's long-winded, convoluted, and tortuous.

Nighttime & Good Music

A city looks very different at night.

I rarely enjoy the distinction because my goal is always to be home before sunset.

A couple of days ago, I ran an errand after dark.

Unimpressive store fronts, in seedy neighborhoods, came alive in the glow of the bright lights.  They were suddenly inviting and charming.

Funny, how that is.

Side note -

I was just sharing with a friend today, that I have heard rhythm and blues music every place I've visited.  It's a universal language all its own.

Speaking of music -

I just downloaded Jason Gould's album.  He's Barbra Streisand's son.  I don't know why, but I was surprised at how wonderful his voice is.  He has great genes and destiny on his side.

I was also introduced to John Boutte, a vocalist from New Orleans.  For those of you who are familiar with "Treme" on HBO, he sings the theme song.  His album entitled "Jambalaya" is a keeper.

If you're 35 or younger, you're probably rolling your eyes at these musical mentions. But I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you've heard some music from some youngsters (younger than you) that you think is less than brilliant.  This is a cycle that just keeps repeating itself.  The older we get, the more pronounced it is.

Side note 2 -

For those of you who have friends and relatives scattered about, let me encourage you to try Google Video Chat.  It's an awesome way to keep in touch.

They should pay me for this.

Side note 3 -

Now that the time has changed in the US, we're back to it being a 12-hour difference in time between here and the West Coast.

So, it's almost bedtime for me, but a brand new day for you.

Make the most of it.



  

Headlines the Day After

The US Presidential Elections made the headlines here.  Below is the article.

http://www.thenational.ae/news/world/middle-east/middle-east-and-north-africa-hopeful-at-obamas-re-election?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Daily%2BNewsletter%2B08-11-2012

Great Quote

From David Simon, as seen on Andrew Sullivan's blog, The Dish.

This election marks a moment in which the racial and social hierarchy of America is upended forever. No longer will it mean more politically to be a white male than to be anything else.

Evolve, or don’t.

Swallow your resentments, or don’t.

But the votes are going to be counted, more of them with each election. Arizona will soon be in play. And in a few cycles, even Texas.

And those wishing to hold national office in these United States will find it increasingly useless to argue for normal, to attempt to play one minority against each other, to turn pluralities against the feared “other” of gays, or blacks, or immigrants, or, incredibly in this election cycle, our very wives and lovers and daughters, fellow citizens who demand to control their own bodies.

Books

I've always loved to read.

As I've shared before, my father was illiterate and my mother only went to the third grade, but they both valued education, and my brothers and I benefited greatly from that mindset.

We lived in a really rural area - China, Texas, population 1100, then and now - and depended heavily on the postal service for things that we needed because Momma couldn't drive.

Somehow, she was turned on to Readers' Digest, and order magazines and books from them, religiously.  This she did for me.  Mom knew that reading was the escape I needed from the loneliness of life in China.

It thrills me to no end that both Ben and Frankie are avid readers.  They weren't growing up, so seeing them devouring books now, and hearing them discussing recent reads, warms my heart.

There is a statewide initiative to promote reading here.  This is interesting because - I'm about to paint with a broad brush, which I should never do, but . . . , this is not a particularly literate country.  Remember, it's a young country, only 41 years old, as of December 2nd, and I think that is part of the issue.

So, we're trying to impress upon the kids that reading is important, but they rarely see adults reading, for pleasure or for information.

Libraries are non-existent.

It's rare to see any locals reading the paper or magazines, at Starbucks or other coffee shops.

So, how do get a nation to read?

One book at a time, I suppose.

Anyway, I was thinking about this as I was reading the following article on why we take books on vacation.

I enjoyed it.  I hope you do, too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-losowsky/why-do-we-always-take-books-vacation_b_2089999.html#slide=1620672

Four Years Ago

Election night four years ago was extraordinary on so many levels.

Tonight, it's no less exhilarating, but in different ways.

When I left for work this morning, the polls were just closing, and it wasn't looking good for President Obama.  Thank God for alerts keeping us in the loop throughout the morning.  Those of us here from the US were waiting with great anticipation for the final word.  When it came, there were quiet moments of rejoicing.

Interestingly, the election made headline news again, but the wave of anticipation, so palatable in America, was not present in our world at school.

Was I silly to expect it?

Probably.

Although I'm grateful to have missed the bombardment of ads that flooded the airways, I am missing the excitement of this win that I know is real in many corners of the US.

Here's hoping that the members of Congress, who have been stuck on stupid/no for the past four years, will wake up and realize we want them to work for our interests, not theirs.

Here's hoping the next four years will be the best four years . . . ever.

Appreciating Our Uniqueness

This is an interesting article about raising kids who are different from what we would consider the norm.  It was found in New York Times today.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/05/embracing-children-for-who-they-are/?src=me&ref=general

Decisions. Decisions.

It's 8:30 at night here on election night, but the polls are just opening in the US.

It will be morning before we have the results.

Here's hoping for the best, whoever your choice may be.

Here's the Link

I forgot to include the link on the previous post.  Here it is -

http://www.ted.com/talks/brian_goldman_doctors_make_mistakes_can_we_talk_about_that.html

Another TEDxTalk - Medical Mistakes

I appreciate this doctor's honesty and openness. 

Cost of a Camel

The question of how much a camel cost has come up several times.  I'm not sure what the typical cost is, but there have been some hefty prices paid in the past.

Check out the article below.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8496766.stm