Wakes

As a child growing up, I attended a lot of wakes and funerals.  We lived in a small town and knew everyone, and of course we were expected to attend these services. Also, my parents were older and the people in our circle tended to be older, and many died during this time.

To this day, I don't like the color purple, as it reminds me of coffins.  Lilac, and various other shades of purple, was the color of choice for many of the women's.

I mostly went to these services under protest, as I wanted to remember people alive, but the South is steeped in funeral traditions that I was required to respect.

Now, having acknowledged that I prefer to remember people alive, I strongly object to a new trend described below.

There was a recent funeral in New Orleans where the deceased woman is sitting upright with sunglasses on, a beer in one hand, and a cigarette in the other, looking like she's very much alive.  See for yourself below.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/06/22/us/its-not-the-living-dead-just-a-funeral-with-flair.html?src=me&ref=general&_r=0

Uh . . .

No.

No.

No.

That's just . . .

Creepy.

Creepy.

Creepy.

OK boys.

Here's the deal.

When I'm gone, find the nearest crematory, and tell 'em to fire it up.

Then, gather the family and friends, and throw one heck of a party.  Believe me, I plan to be there in spirit, to make sure all comments are true, and favorable, of course.

That's it.

Simple.

And, most importantly,

Not creepy.