Oh Hell NO!!!

An article on modern parenting.

From Salon - An excerpt:

Tammy took Kimberly to visit four different schools. Tammy and Jim both liked school X: the atmosphere was warm and nurturing, the teachers were enthusiastic, and the long-term outcomes of the students were well documented. But Kimberly liked school Y. On her visit to school Y, Kimberly had clicked with the student escort, a 9-year-old named Madison. Madison and Kimberly discovered that they both liked the Ramona and Beezus books by Beverly Cleary, and they both liked American Girl dolls. But the parents were concerned about the dilapidated condition of the school, the lack of enthusiasm on the part of the teachers and administrators, and the school’s refusal to disclose where graduates of the school (a K–8 school) went to high school. Tammy and Jim advised their daughter to attend school X. But Kimberly insisted on school Y. And that’s the school where she is now enrolled.

When I asked Tammy why she and her husband allowed their 8-year-old daughter to have the final say, Tammy answered, “I think good parenting means letting kids decide. That’s how kids learn, right? If I make all the decisions for her, how will she ever learn to decide on her own? And if I force her to go to a school that wasn’t her first choice, what can I say if she complains about the school later?”

Forty years ago, most parents who sent their kids to private schools didn’t ask their child which school the child preferred. Forty years ago, the parents made that decision, often overruling their child’s preference. Even 30 years ago, when I graduated from medical school, it would have been unusual for parents to let an 8-year-old have the final say in the choice of school. Today it is common.

I’m not suggesting that the 1970s or the 1980s were better than our own era. Every era has its shortcomings. But I don’t think we are facing up to ours.

My friend Janet Phillips and her late husband, Bill Phillips, (their true names) raised four sons. When the boys were in high school, Janet and Bill became concerned about stories they were hearing about kids drinking. Then they saw it for themselves: high school kids who were clearly drunk but who were nevertheless getting behind the wheel of a car. What to do?

Bill bought a Breathalyzer. The next time there was a party at their house, Bill saw a boy who appeared to be drunk. Bill told the boy, “Come with me.” He handed the boy the Breathalyzer and told him to blow into the device. Sure enough, the boy was drunk. Janet called the boy’s parents and asked them to take their intoxicated son home. To the surprise of both Bill and Janet, the boy’s parents were offended by the phone call. The boy’s mother did take her son home, without a word of thanks to either Janet or Bill.

Other parents did not receive Janet and Bill’s Breathalyzer strategy enthusiastically either. One parent, Ms. Stoltz, gave Janet a piece of her mind. “Kids these days are going to drink, whether you like it or not,” Ms. Stoltz said. “I think our job is to teach them to drink responsibly.”

“At 15 years of age?” Janet asked.

“At whatever age. I’d rather have them drink in my own home than hide their drinking from me.”

Several days later, Janet happened to be standing just a few feet away when Ms. Stoltz picked up her youngest son, about 12 years old, from school. The boy climbed into the back seat of the car. Ms. Stoltz turned around and asked him, “How was your day?”

Her son said to her, “Turn around. Shut up. Drive.”

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There is no way in hell I would let any kid, let alone my kid, talk to me that way.  This parenting notion of letting kids run the show has/is produced/producing some of the most disrespectful, entitled brats on the planet.

Call me old fashioned, but this would not fly in my world . . . EVER!

http://www.salon.com/2016/01/17/your_parenting_is_the_problem_we_spend_more_time_and_money_on_parenting_than_ever_but_we_are_getting_worse/?source=newsletter