I'm Here

Excerpts from Shift.Newco -

Invisible Talent

Earlier today Wall Street Journal posted a piece titled “Facebook Blames Lack of Available Talent for Diversity Problem”. Facebook has come to the conclusion that their diversity problem is due to there being too few underrepresented people who have the necessary tech skills to work for them. So instead of looking to find this talent, they are passing off the issue to the public education system.

I am a Black woman who will graduate with a computer science degree from Dartmouth College in less than a year. There are thousands of other Black and Latinx who graduate every year with computer science Bachelor degrees. Most of us don’t get hired into the tech industry. So instead of putting in the effort to look for us, Facebook is ignoring the fact that we even exist.

When I saw this article I had to fight back tears. I thought about all the work I’ve put into to get to where I am today and wondered will it even matter when I start my job search in a few months. According to most tech companies, if I can’t pass an algorithmic challenge or if I’m not a “culture fit” I don’t belong. I haven’t even started my first full-time job yet and I’m already so tired of feeling erased and mistreated by the tech industry. I’ve worked so hard to make myself visible over the last few years so it hurt me to see Facebook make such false statements. What more must students of color do to make it clear that we are qualified to be in this industry?

~~~~~~~~~~

Tech companies who believe that the pipeline is the only issue are refusing to see underrepresented talent. I am a CODE2040 2nd-year fellow and after this summer the CODE2040 fellows program will have over 150+ talented alumni who are all Black and Latinx with computer science degrees. CODE2040 is a selective program meaning that for every student they accepted into the program they probably had to deny at least 5. Hundreds of students are applying to CODE2040 every year in hopes of getting an internship in Silicon Valley. We want to work in tech. We want to be a part of the industry that has changed the world and continues to change the world. We want to be a part of the future innovations. We want to be here, but it seems like the tech industry doesn’t want us to be.

https://shift.newco.co/invisible-talent-409a085bee9c#.zactv245u

Lint Roller Hacks

An excerpt from the Huffington Post -

7 Ways You Should Be Using Your Lint Roller (But Aren’t)
by Talia Cuddeback

2) Clean up the inside of a purse or bag: Why does it seem like the bottom of your purse is always filled with lint, hair, and crumbs? By using a lint roller and rolling it around the inside of any bag, the sticky sheets will pick up all the tiny particles that mysteriously moved in.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/7-ways-you-should-be-using-your-lint-roller_us_5783f22ee4b01edea78f08ae?cps=gravity_2246_-2223403967632516757

Monopoly Maybe?

From Good -

This Infographic Shows How Only 10 Companies Own All The World’s Brands
by Kate Ryan

https://www.good.is/articles/major-brands-infographic?utm_source=thedailygood&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=dailygood

I Love This!

From Upworthy -

Mom created this literary staircase for her kids.
So clever!

http://www.upworthy.com/if-you-love-books-youll-need-to-see-this-moms-amazing-diy-art-project?c=upw1&u=6861cbea6edfdfe5a709ee39ad3c14b64135e61f

Too Little, Too Late?

An excerpt from The Root -

Michael Jordan: A Day Late and a Million Dollars Short
BY: STEPHEN A. CROCKETT JR.

On Monday, Michael Jordan decided to break his Clarence Thomas-like silence on race relations in this country to denounce the killings of unarmed black men, women and children at the hands of police. In a piece for The Undefeated, Jordan also condemned the killings of cops and donated $1 million each to the NAACP Legal Defense and Educational Fund and the International Association of Chiefs of Police’s Institute for Community-Police Relations.

It’s with great thought and all due respect that I say, “F–k Michael Jordan.”

The cause doesn’t need his money, or his statement or his sympathy now; we needed it then, back when his name held weight. Back when he was the largest athlete on the planet. Back in 1990, when African-American U.S. Senate candidate Harvey Gantt was trying to wrestle North Carolina away from the racist control of Sen. Jesse Helms. That’s right, the same Jesse Helms who didn’t want to make Martin Luther King Jr.’s birthday a national holiday. Jordan was asked to endorse Gantt, a request to which he famously replied, “Republicans buy sneakers too.”

http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2016/07/michael-jordan-a-day-late-and-a-million-dollars-short/

Last Week Tonight with John Oliver: Republican National Convention (HBO)

Jayna Brown: See How This Smiley Teen Singer Earns the Golden Buzzer - A...

Liberal Redneck - Black Lives Matter

Why red light cameras are a scam

Malcolm Gladwell on racism, Trump, and the moral licensing phenomenon

R & B

It never ceases to amaze me that all over the world, in the places I've visited, R & B music has been playing - in the taxis, in the lounges, in the hotel lobbies, and in the shopping malls.

Today I listened to Anita Baker's "Sweet Love" during breakfast.

It truly is international in its scope and reach.

Manila Day 2

As promised, below is a recap of my day of sightseeing.

A guide picked me up at about 8:15, and we spent the next four hours touring the city.  I was especially excited to see the many churches, and they are even more magnificent than advertised.

The first one was the Shrine of Jesus Church.

Here are some street scenes.

The bus-like thing is called a jitney.  They were everywhere!

Busy city street.

Below is the Shrine of Saint Therese Church.  I found this photo online that shows the entire church.

I took this picture of the front of it.  Off center.  I know.

There is a large military presence with the Army, Air Force, Navy and Marines having their bases lined the streets in what could be considered "military row."

This picture isn't great but it's better than the one I took.
It's from the Internet.

The next pictures are from the Manila American Cemetery & Memorial where 17,206 men who died in the Philippines during World War II are buried.  They are 16,636 Americans and 507 Filipinos.  It is very much like Arlington Cemetery in DC.  There are rows and rows of white crosses that dot the landscape.  They are arranged in circular patterns that are solemn, heart wrenching and beautiful.

Manila American Cemetery & Memorial Monument

This photo doesn't begin to do justice to the scene,
but I wanted you to get an idea of what it looks like.

These columns form a semicircle from the main entrance on both sides,
and they include the names of all of the men who are buried here,
except for 3,744 who remain unknown.

You can't read the names, but they are listed in alpha order,
by their branch of the military.
These men were in the Navy.

Contrary to what I thought, Manila is a thriving city, booming with new construction all over the place.  Many of the natives have chosen to live and work abroad, and I assumed that it was because their country was poor and destitute.  That is not the case at all.  There are areas with homes reflecting great wealth, and there is a mall with high-end stores that rivals anything you'll see in New York City or Dubai.

Booming cityscape.

As I mentioned in the previous post, my hotel is located in a walled city called Intramuros, a part of the Fort Santiago Fortress.

The main entrance to Fort Santiago.

Another view of the main entrance.

A president and Gen. MacAuthur, I think.

Bombed out building from World War II.

Honoring the dead.

Here are two more churches.

This is the Manila Metropolitan Cathedral - Basilica.
Again, this picture doesn't do it justice.

It was fascinating because a mass was being held
as tourists were walking through the back of the sanctuary!

This is the San Agustin Church, which is a World Heritage Site.
Breathtakingly beautiful!

It is 445 years old!

Another view.

Close-up of one of the door panels.

That's it.

It's been a wonderful couple of days here in Manila.

Tomorrow night I head for San Francisco.

USA here I come!

Help For a Determined Kid

An  excerpt from CNN -

Community rallies for homeless college student living in a tent
By Lizzie Likness

(CNN)Fred Barley was living in a tent with his belongings in two duffel bags and a box of cereal to ration over the next few weeks.

Responding to a trespassing call on July 9, campus police at Gordon State College in Barnesville, Georgia, asked him to leave his makeshift home.

But the situation changed once the officers heard his story: The 19-year-old had biked more than six hours from Conyers, Georgia, to register for his second semester at Gordon State. The dorms didn't open until August, but Barley felt his college campus was the safest place to stay.

The biology major, who plans to become a doctor, told CNN affiliate WSB that police officers said they can't let him stay there, but took him to a local motel and paid for his next two nights.

http://edition.cnn.com/2016/07/17/us/iyw-fred-barley-homeless-college-student-bikes-six-miles/index.html

Harvesting Guitars from the Bones of New York City

The Inspiration Behind Sir Mix-a-Lot's "Baby Got Back" | Where Are They ...

Context for Black Lives Matter

Is It Possible?

That I could love Malcolm Gladwell even more?

Yes, it is.

I've been listening to his new podcast on iTunes called Revisionist History.

They're half hour nuggets of gold.

I love the way he's able to take really complex and complicated topics and make them easy enough for me to understand.

I especially enjoyed the episode entitled "Food Fight" that features Frankie's alma mater, Vassar College.

I've added a link to the right.

You're welcome.

Enjoy.

Greetings From Manila

I arrived in Manila last night.

Haven't ventured out yet, so the only thing I can offer is the view from my window.

Tomorrow I'll take a tour of the city.

The hotel is located behind a fortress wall.
Although they're hard to see, but the slats in the wall hold cannons.
Lots of people taking pictures by the guns throughout the day.

Beyond the wall is a beautiful golf course.

Closer look at the cannons.

More soon.

Insha'Allah.

Gun laws around the world | Mic Check

Thirty-Seven Years

That's how long we would be married if we'd stayed together.

Instead, we were married for twenty years and now we've been divorced for seventeen.

Randomly, out of the blue, I realized it was our anniversary yesterday as I was chatting with a member of the hotel staff who asked me to rate the place.  When I wrote the date, I remembered.

I remembered it was thirty-seven years ago that I said, "I do."

There was a time I'd remember this date and cringe, but no more.

I can appreciate my marriage for what it was (at first happy, then melancholy, then resentful), and I can appreciate my time since my divorce for what it has been (filled with anger and bitterness, followed by forgiveness, peace, and adventure).

Do I ever wish I was still married?

No.

Never.

I didn't discover who I was until I was divorced, and like I've said many times before, I discovered I like me.

Crazy.

Loud.

Opinionated.

Me.

The me who doesn't give a rip if you like me or not.  The me who is no longer trying to please the world, or someone in it.

I like her . . .

Independence.

Boldness.

Honesty.

So this reminder of my anniversary fills me, not with regret, but with thanksgiving.

I'm grateful for the experience of marriage and my two wonderful sons it produced, but I'm even more grateful for my divorce, for with it has brought me to this place of peace and contentment.

The Top 100 Movies?

I don't know.  The list limits it to what's on Netflix now.

Still sketchy.

You decide.

https://www.pastemagazine.com/articles/2016/06/the-100-best-movies-on-netflix-june-2016.html?a=1

She's Made a New Fan

Pink, I'm all in.

From the Root -

The 8 Wokest White People We Know
Their eyes are wide open, and they’re using their privilege to speak out about racial injustice.
BY: GENETTA M. ADAMS

http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2016/07/the-8-wokest-white-people-we-know/?wpisrc=newsletter_jcr:content%26

Quote

From The Wrap -

Neil deGrasse Tyson Stopped ‘a Dozen’ Times for ‘Just Being Black’

Tyson also described being stopped several times while trying to bring boxes of textbooks into his graduate school office.

“I wonder how often that scenario shows up in police training tapes,” he said. “In total, I was stopped two or three times by other security officers while entering physics buildings, but was never stopped entering the campus gym.”

http://www.thewrap.com/neil-degrasse-tyson-shares-stories-of-a-dozen-racial-profiling-incidents-from-his-past/

Linkin Bridge: Performing "Free Bird"

Standing Up for Humanity

An excerpt from Vox -

Raising my fist at the Olympics cost me friends and my marriage — but I’d do it again
by John Carlos on July 13, 2016

Peter Norman, Tommie Smith, and John Carlos on the medals podium at the 1968 Olympics
(Universal History Archive/Getty Images)

The aftermath was hell for me and my family

The first 10 years after those Olympics were hell for me. A lot of people walked away from me. They weren't walking away because they didn't have love for me or they had disdain for me. They were walking away because they were afraid. What they saw happening to me, they didn't want it to happen to them and theirs.

My wife and kids were tormented. I was strong enough to deal with whatever people threw at me, because this is the life I'd signed up for. But not my family. My marriage crumbled. I got divorced. It was like the Terminator coming and shooting one of his ray guns through my suit of armor.

Still, I wouldn't change what I did.

That picture of me and Tommie on the podium is the modern-day Mona Lisa — a universal image that everyone wants to see and everyone wants to be related to in one way or another. And do you know why? Because we were standing for something. We were standing for humanity.

http://www.vox.com/2016/7/13/12118332/john-carlos-olympics

[2016 ESPYs] Carmelo Anthony, Chris Paul, Dwyane Wade, & LeBron James op...

23 Ways You Could Be Killed If You Are Black in America

Speaking His Truth

The following is an excerpt from a powerful Facebook Post that was featured in USA Today (his whole story is worth reading and can be found at https://www.facebook.com/brian.crooks/posts/10103901923530909?pnref=story-

~~~~~~~~~

I could go on and on and on about this. I could tell you about the guy who wanted to buy his guitar from someone who “actually knew what a guitar was” when I worked at guitar center. At that point, I had a Gibson Les Paul at my house and an Ibanez acoustic, plus a Warwick fretless bass. I could tell you about the coworker who thought it was funny to adopt a stereotypical Black accent to apologize that we weren't going to have fried chicken and cornbread at our company Christmas party. I could tell you about the time I gave my floor mate a haircut freshman year and he “thanked” me by saying he'd let a negro cut his hair any day of the week. I could tell you about leaving a bar heartbroken and fighting tears when the Trayvon Martin verdict came out only to see a couple middle-aged White guys high-fiving and saying he “got what he deserved” right outside. These are only a handful of the experiences I've had in my 31 years.

I've never had a Black boss. I played football from middle school through senior year of high school and only had one Black coach in that whole time. Not just head coaches, I'm talking about assistants and position coaches. I've had two Black teachers in my entire life. One was for my Harlem Renaissance class, and one was for my sign language class. I've never been to a Black doctor, or a Black dentist. I've never been pulled over by a Black police officer. What I'm trying to explain is that, in 31 years, I've seen three Black people in a position of authority. Think about what that does to the psyche of a growing young man. I remember being excited just a few years ago when we started to see Black people in commercials without there being gospel or hip hop music in the background (remember that McDonald's commercial where the little kid was pop-locking with the chicken McNuggets?).

Before you say it, I don't want to hear that you're “sorry I had these experiences.” Because it's not just me. It's not like I'm some kind of magnet for all of the racists in America and I'm some weird anomaly. This is what it means to be Black in America. I appreciate that you're sorry for me, but I'm not seeking your sorrow. I'm seeking your understanding. I just want you to understand that this is real. We're not exaggerating it, and we're not making it up. White people often say that we make everything about race. That's because, for us, damn near everything IS about race. It's always been that way. When I have a great phone interview, but go for my in-person interview only to be told that the position has been filled, how am I supposed to know that's not just because they expected a White Iowa graduate to show up for the interview? When I have an especially-attentive employee keep checking in with me at the mall, how am I supposed to know they're shooting for employee of the month, not watching me to make sure I'm not stealing? What do you think it's like when someone says “You don't sound Black at all” when I have a phone conversation with them and then meet them in person? What do you think it's like seeing Confederate flags on cars and flag poles in northern states, only to have someone tell me I'm being too sensitive for not liking it?

When we say “Black Lives Matter,” understand what that actually means. We aren't saying that ONLY Black lives matter. We're saying “Black lives matter TOO.” For the entirety of the history of this country, Black lives have not mattered. At a minimum, they haven't mattered nearly as much as White lives. If a Black person kills another Black person, and we have it on tape, the killer goes to jail. If a White police officer kills a Black person and we have it on tape, the entire judicial system steps up to make sure that officer doesn't go to jail. It doesn't matter whether the Black person was holding a toy gun in a Walmart, or whether the Black person was a 12-year-old kid playing with a BB gun in an empty park. The police union steps up to say the officer was fearing for his life, just worried about trying to make it home that night. IF a grand jury is convened, the prosecutor will present a purposely-weak case to make sure no indictment is reached. IF, by some miracle, an indictment is handed down, no jury is actually going to convict that officer. That's what we mean when we say Black Lives Matter. I can only speak for myself, but I have no reason to believe that the officers in Minnesota or Baton Rouge will ever see the inside of a jail cell. If we can have video evidence that an officer pulled up, jumped out of his car, shot a 12-year-old to death less than 2 seconds after arriving on the scene, administered no first aid, tackled and hand cuffed the boy's sister when she arrived on the scene, and then falsified a police report to say that the boy pointed a gun at him and that he only shot when the boy refused several orders to drop his weapon and STILL not get an indictment, why should we think that an officer who shoots a Black man who had a gun in his pocket, or a Black man who had a concealed weapon on him, will face a trial? If a White man sees a 14-year-old Black boy in his neighborhood, follows him in his car, ignores orders not to engage him, then gets into a fight with him and shoots him in the chest and is found not guilty, why should we expect ANYBODY to go to jail for killing us? It's just not realistic. It's a fairy tale. All you have to do is say you were afraid, and you get a book deal and a job as a commentator on FOX News every time this kind of thing happens again.

That is why Black people are in such pain right now. The deaths are bad enough. But having the feeling that nobody will ever actually be held accountable for the deaths is so much worse. And then watching as the police union, the media, and conservative politicians team up to imagine scenarios where the officer did nothing wrong, and then tell those of us who are in pain that our pain is wrong, unjustified, and all in our heads just serves to twist the knife.

If you read all this, I really, really want to say thank you. I know it was a lot to get through. But this is real. This is me. This is what my life is and has been. And I'm not alone.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation-now/2016/07/12/being-black-iowa-man-shares-experience-viral-essay/87005918/

Larry, the Cat

An excerpt from USA Today -

As Cameron moves out, the cat stays put at 10 Downing Street
By Ryan W. Miller

With the United Kingdom voting to leave the EU and in turn electing a new prime minister, countless questions around the country’s future have arisen in the recent weeks. One thing is not up for debate, though – Larry, the Chief Mouser of 10 Downing Street, will keep his London residence during the leadership change.




http://www.usatoday.com/story/news/2016/07/12/cameron-moves-out-cat-stays-put-10-downing-street/86998646/

What Now?

Excerpts from The Huffington Post -

What Should We Teach Them Now?

By John Silvanus Wilson Jr. 

President, Morehouse College

In 1984, my brother and I were fortunate enough to survive an encounter with the police. It occurred near the beginning of a drive from Princeton, New Jersey to Cambridge, Massachusetts, where I was completing my doctorate at Harvard University. I was joined by my fiancé, who was completing her doctorate at MIT, my brother, who was completing his at the University of Massachusetts at Amherst, and his wife, who was about to enter medical school.

When two Princeton officers flashed us to a halt, my brother and I knew what to do, based on “the talk” our parents had given us years before. We were taught to comply with all orders issued by the police and respectfully reply to any questions they may ask. By doing so, we were told that the encounter would probably have a safe and desirable outcome.

Accordingly, we slowly got out of the front seats with our empty hands in clear view, we placed them on the hood of the car, and we spread our legs, all as sternly instructed. As we were patted down by one officer, the other kept his hand on his gun.

After I respectfully asked the officer why he stopped us, my brother and I worked hard to remain poised once he answered, “You have out-of-state plates, you don’t look like you live here, and you have a car full of belongings!”

I say we survived the police encounter because “the talk” worked for us. We respectfully did as we were told, we quietly absorbed the undeserved humiliation, and we eventually drove away.

~~~~~~~~~~

At Morehouse College, we celebrated our fourth Rhodes Scholar this past spring. But I worry that some police officers will see his tall, lean, dark body and think of him as a menace, rather than a mensch. I worry that his Rhodes Scholarship will no more work for him, than our prestigious graduate pursuits worked for us on that small, dark road in Princeton back in 1984. Being in mortal danger for no other reason than because we are black men is a disgusting feature of an America that we must remain determined to change.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/john-silvanus-wilson-jr/what-do-we-teach-them-now_b_10905976.html

Acknowledgment Comes First

Excerpts from The Atlantic -

The Near Certainty of Anti-Police Violence

By ignoring illegitimate policing, America has also failed to address the danger this illegitimacy poses to those who must do the policing. 
By TA-NEHISI COATES

To understand the lack of police legitimacy in black communities, consider the contempt in which most white Americans hold O.J. Simpson. Consider their feelings toward the judge and jury in the case. And then consider that this is approximately how black people have felt every few months for generations. It’s not just that the belief that Officer Timothy Loehmann got away with murdering a 12-year-old Tamir Rice, it is the reality that police officers have been getting away with murdering black people since the advent of American policing. The injustice compounds, congeals until there is an almost tangible sense of dread and grievance that compels a community to understand the police as objects of fear, not respect.

~~~~~~~~~~

There is no short-cut out. Sanctimonious cries of nonviolence will not help. “Retraining” can only do so much. Until we move to the broader question of policy, we can expect to see Walter Scotts and Freddie Grays with some regularity. And the extent to which we are tolerant of the possibility of more Walter Scotts and Freddie Grays is the extent to which we are tolerant of the possibility of more Micah Xavier Johnsons.

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/07/the-near-certainty-of-anti-police-violence/490541/

$39 Flights

JetBlue Is Offering $39 Flights In A 2-Day Flash Sale

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/jetblue-flash-sale_us_5784ff1ae4b0ed2111d78b56

The Lone Man Building a Cathedral By Hand

Toothpick Talent

An excerpt from Atlas Obscura -

The Folsom Prisoner Who Built Functional Miniature Carnivals Out of Toothpicks

It was the best way for William Jennings-Bryan Burke to kill time during his 23 years in prison.
By Lauren Young

Sometime around 1940, the convicted burglar turned a basement near the warden’s office into his artistic domain. Relying on his memories and imagination, he constructed three expansive carnivals containing scaled iterations of Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, airplane rides, merry-go-rounds, and penny arcades—all made out of toothpicks.

Former convict Billy Burke had a unique hobby during his time at Folsom Prison.
[All photos: John Burke/The Toothpick Carnival]

“For a time toothpicks had been designated contraband in prison, precisely because I was using so many of them and the guards weren’t sure of what I had in mind,” Burke told Nan Nichols Sharrer, author of Escape From Folsom Prison: The True Story of William Jennings Bryan Burke. “But soon the warden would bring me toothpicks in his pockets.”

http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-folsom-prisoner-who-built-functional-miniature-carnivals-out-of-toothpicks

Warnings

As a person living in a foreign land, we're used to getting travel advisories from the US State Department about potential threats as we travel abroad.  A few days ago, the island nation of the Bahamas warned their people who might be visiting the US about the potential dangers of being in our land.

http://www.theroot.com/articles/news/2016/07/the-bahamas-issues-travel-advisory-to-its-young-men-about-coming-to-u-s/?wpisrc=newsletter_jcr:content%26

As we Americans wear the robe of righteousness and all-knowing sense of superiority when it comes to human rights, we then pretend to be shocked when the reality of the injustices that are present that so many of us face every day, is shown in living color, for the world to see.

You may be shocked.

Those of us who live in brown and black skin are not.

Marvin Gaye - What's Going On

A Muted View

Where's the NRA?

An excerpt from Salon -

NRA’s offensive hypocrisy: When will the organization demand justice for black gun owners shot by police?

Alton Sterling and Philando Castile were shot while carrying guns, but the NRA isn't stepping up to defend them  By AMANDA MARCOTTE

Guns are legal in this country. Louisiana is an open carry state. Minnesota allows concealed carry. Police officers in these states know full well that people have a legal right to carry. They have, according to conservatives themselves, no reason to believe that a man with a gun is a bad guy. Why, he could very well be one of those good guys with a gun, at the ready to stop crime, that we keep hearing about from conservatives.

Which brings up a critical question: Where is the gun rights lobby?

Here are two American citizens that were killed while doing what the NRA claims is a constitutional right. Surely this must be a gross injustice in the eyes of the NRA! Surely they will be demanding action, petitioning congressmen, demanding the Department of Justice to step forward and make sure that every American has a right to arm themselves without fear of being gunned down by the police! Right?

http://www.salon.com/2016/07/07/nras_offensive_hypocrisy_when_will_the_organization_demand_justice_for_black_gun_owners_shot_by_police/?source=newsletter

The 2nd Amendment

An excerpt from the Root -

The 2nd Amendment Is So White: What the Past 24 Hours Have Taught Me About Black People’s Right to Bear Arms

Black America yet again bears witness to state-sanctioned violence at the hands of trigger-happy rogue cops—one in Louisiana, a state that has open-carry laws, and the other in Minnesota, where the victim had a permit to conceal and carry firearms.  BY PRESTON MITCHUM


In less than 24 hours, two black men have been killed by police officers even though the Second Amendment indicates that they should have been protected. Black America yet again bears witness to state-sanctioned violence at the hands of trigger-happy rogue cops—one in Louisiana, a state that has open-carry laws, and the other in Minnesota, where the victim had a permit to conceal and carry firearms. The truth, however, is that the Second Amendment (and subsequent open-carry laws) does not apply to black people in America.

http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2016/07/the-2nd-amendment-is-so-white-what-the-past-24-hours-have-taught-me-about-black-peoples-right-to-bear-arms/?wpisrc=newsletter_jcr:content%26

The Pain is Real

The Raw Videos That Have Sparked Outrage Over Police Treatment of Blacks
By DAMIEN CAVE and ROCHELLE OLIVER

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2015/07/30/us/police-videos-race.html

Did We Learn Anything?

An excerpt from The Atlantic -

Is America Repeating the Mistakes of 1968?
The Kerner Report confronted a tense nation with data about structural racism throughout the country and made recommendations to solve the problem. But America looked away.
By JULIAN E. ZELIZER

Today, America has a president who understands the urgent need to address the problems of institutional racism that have been broadcast to the entire world through smartphones and exposés of a racialized criminal-justice system. But this conflict is taking shape right in the middle of a heated election season—one that includes a candidate who has made draconian proposals for national security and who appeals to the “Silent Majority.” Following the events in Dallas, Donald Trump released a statement that read: “We must restore law and order. We must restore the confidence of our people to be safe and secure in their homes and on the street.”

***

This is not the first time this has happened. When questions over race and policing were front and center in a national debate in 1968, the federal government failed to take the steps necessary to make any changes. The government understood how institutional racism was playing out in the cities and how they exploded into violence, but the electorate instead was seduced by Richard Nixon’s calls for law and order, as well as an urban crackdown, leaving the problems of institutional racism untouched. Rather than deal with the way that racism was inscribed into American institutions, including the criminal-justice system, the government focused on building a massive carceral state, militarizing police forces, criminalizing small offenses, and living through repeated moments of racial conflict exploding into violence.

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2016/07/is-america-repeating-the-mistakes-of-1968/490568/?utm_source=nl-atlantic-daily-070816

Who Matters?

An excerpt from Rolling Stone -

After Dallas, We Don't Need to Say 'Blue Lives Matter'
We already know whose lives matter in America
By Natasha Lennard

Do we need to assert that Blue Lives Matter? In the wake of the killing of five Dallas police officers Thursday, it might seem so. President Obama called the shooting "vicious, calculated and despicable." The New York Post proclaimed "Civil War" on its cover. In the same week when thousands of us took to the streets to once again insist that Black Lives Matter, events in Dallas will force a number of false equivalences to be drawn. First among them is that if we say Black Lives Matter, we must say in the same breath Blue Lives Matter.

I won't say Blue Lives Matter, because it does not need to be said. We know this because the death of five officers this week provoked an immediate response from the president, as did the assassination of two NYPD officers in 2014. That's what mattering looks like. While the president’s remarks earlier in the week on the deaths of Alton Sterling and Philando Castile were moving, dozens of unarmed black men killed by cop go without presidential comment. For instance, U.S. police killed more than 100 unarmed black men last year alone. The fact that there are too many such killings for Obama to speak to individually? That's what not mattering looks like in a society.

There was never any doubt about the mattering of cops' lives in this country. To say Blue Lives Matter is to falsely assert that the cops' lives are undervalued and systematically discarded. They are not — no life should be — and the shootings in Dallas do not change that fact.

Five police deaths provoke cries of "Civil War," but hundreds of black deaths are just the "tragic" normal.

Read more: http://www.rollingstone.com/politics/news/after-dallas-we-dont-need-to-say-blue-lives-matter-20160708#ixzz4DvpeqkwQ
Follow us: @rollingstone on Twitter | RollingStone on Facebook

Explaining the Pain

Excerpts from the New York Times -

Death in Black and White
By Michael Eric Dyson

Like you, we don’t all think the same, feel the same, love, learn, live or even die the same.

But there’s one thing most of us agree on: We don’t want cops to be executed at a peaceful protest. We also don’t want cops to kill us without fear that they will ever face a jury, much less go to jail, even as the world watches our death on a homemade video recording. This is a difficult point to make as a racial crisis flares around us.

~~~~~~~~~~

We all can see the same videos. But you insist that the camera doesn’t tell the whole story. Of course you’re right, but you don’t really want to see or hear that story.

At birth, you are given a pair of binoculars that see black life from a distance, never with the texture of intimacy. Those binoculars are privilege; they are status, regardless of your class. In fact the greatest privilege that exists is for white folk to get stopped by a cop and not end up dead when the encounter is over.

Those binoculars are also stories, bad stories, biased stories, harmful stories, about how black people are lazy, or dumb, or slick, or immoral, people who can’t be helped by the best schools or even God himself. These beliefs don’t make it into contemporary books, or into most classrooms. But they are passed down, informally, from one white mind to the next.

The problem is you do not want to know anything different from what you think you know. Your knowledge of black life, of the hardships we face, yes, those we sometimes create, those we most often endure, don’t concern you much. You think we have been handed everything because we have fought your selfish insistence that the world, all of it — all its resources, all its riches, all its bounty, all its grace — should be yours first, and foremost, and if there’s anything left, why then we can have some, but only if we ask politely and behave gratefully.

So you demand the Supreme Court give you back what was taken from you: more space in college classrooms that you dominate; better access to jobs in fire departments and police forces that you control. All the while your resentment builds, and your slow hate gathers steam. Your whiteness has become a burden too heavy for you to carry, so you outsource it to a vile political figure who amplifies your most detestable private thoughts.

Whiteness is blindness. It is the wish not to see what it will not know.
If you do not know us, you also refuse to hear us because you do not believe what we say. You have decided that enough is enough. If the cops must kill us for no good reason, then so be it because most of us are guilty anyway. If the black person that they kill turns out to be innocent, it is an acceptable death, a sacrificial one.

Terror was visited on Dallas Thursday night. Unspeakable terror. We are not strangers to terror. You make us afraid to walk the streets, for at any moment, a blue-clad officer with a gun could swoop down on us to snatch our lives from us and say that it was because we were selling cigarettes, or compact discs, or breathing too much for your comfort, or speaking too abrasively for your taste. Or running, or standing still, or talking back, or being silent, or doing as you say, or not doing as you say fast enough.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/07/10/opinion/sunday/what-white-america-fails-to-see.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&region=CColumn&module=MostEmailed&version=Full&src=me&WT.nav=MostEmailed&_r=0

Play on Words: Meet Nigeria’s Scrabble King

A Special Museum

An excerpt from the Associated Press -

'Black girl magic' on display at The Colored Girls Museum

By ERRIN HAINES WHACK

Nestled in Philadelphia's historic Germantown neighborhood, the Victorian facade of The Colored Girls Museum beckons visitors past its gate, up the flower-lined path and onto the inviting wraparound porch.

Inside, objects ranging from quilts to a bag of black-eyed peas honor the culture and experiences of what museum founder and artist Vashti Dubois calls "everyday black girls."

"This museum is a celebration of the ordinary, extraordinary colored girl," said Dubois. Referring to the house as a living thing, she adds: "She's speaking to the girl in us."

The 127-year-old home with high, earth-toned walls is filled with art, artifacts and treasures that take visitors on a communal journey of loss, joy, healing and memory.

~~~~~~~~~~

If You Go...

THE COLORED GIRLS MUSEUM: 4613 Newhall St., Philadelphia, http://www.thecoloredgirlsmuseum.com . Open Sundays noon-4 p.m. and by appointment. Suggested $10 donation. On July 9, the museum hosts its first pop-up festival at the Philadelphia Fringe Arts Center, a community dance party with music, artists and vendors in celebration of "black girl magic," a cultural catchphrase that has become a popular social media hashtag. This fall, the museum presents its first exhibit, "A Good Night's Sleep" at the center's Fringe Festival.

http://bigstory.ap.org/b1f17df03dfb40d0a3a5526398c4ea38

Real Time with Bill Maher: New Rule - Laboratories of Democracy (HBO)

Cookout Music Anyone?

From The Root -

The 10 Greatest Cookout Songs of All Time

My favorite: Number 8

http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2016/07/the-10-greatest-cookout-songs-of-all-time/?wpisrc=newsletter_jcr:content%26

America's Blood-Stained Hands

Read about the man who survived his own lynching.

Horrific.

Nauseating.

American.

The history we choose to forget.

An excerpt from Buzzfeed -

Lawrence Beitler was sitting on the front porch of his home in Marion, Indiana, when someone asked him to tote his 8×10 view camera to the town square. It was past midnight on August 7, 1930, and Beitler, 44, was a professional photographer who mostly shot portraits of weddings, schoolchildren, and church groups. That night, he would be photographing a lynching. He “didn’t even want to do it,” according to a later interview with his daughter, “but taking pictures was his business.”

By the time Beitler arrived on the square, a jubilant mob of nearly 15,000 white men, women, and children had gathered. Earlier that night, a group of vigilantes had charged the county jail to seize two black teenagers — Thomas Shipp, 18, and Abram Smith, 19 — who’d allegedly raped a young white woman and murdered her boyfriend. Beitler took one photo of Shipp’s and Smith’s brutalized bodies hanging from a tree, the crowd of eager onlookers before them, and left.

Lynching, in the American imagination, is considered to be solely the provenance of Confederate racism, one of the most prominent examples being the 1955 murder of 14-year-old Emmett Till in Mississippi. Yet the most notorious lynching imagery prior to Till came from Union towns: Duluth, Minnesota; Cairo, Illinois; Omaha, Nebraska — and Marion, Indiana. It is Beitler’s photograph, in particular, that has served as the most glaring visual reminder of the country’s decades-long spectacle of racism and public murder. The photo of the lynching of two Indiana teenagers would never grace the pages of the local paper. But the image is everywhere.

It was Beitler’s photograph that inspired Abel Meeropol to write his anti-lynching poem “Strange Fruit” in 1936, which Billie Holiday would later record and make famous. Just last month, a decade-old mural adaptation of the photograph in Elgin, Illinois, which features only the faces of the white participants, came under public scrutiny as people discovered the image’s origin.

https://www.buzzfeed.com/syreetamcfadden/how-to-survive-a-lynching?utm_term=.lk3G1GOO8#.bcM1P1EED

Akala Breaks Down Britain's Inherent Xenophobia

MISS SHARON JONES! Official Trailer (2016)

Wedding Music?

From the Huffington Post -

The 21 Most Requested Wedding Songs, According To DJs

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/the-21-most-requested-wedding-songs-according-to-djs_us_577405c9e4b0bd4b0b133fe3?section=

Medical Testing at Home

An excerpt from the Huffington Post -

Inexpensive Paper Strips Can Test For Malaria, Cancer At Home
They’re particularly useful for people who live in remote areas and struggle to get access to medical care.

PAM FROST GORDER/COURTESY OF THE OHIO STATE UNIVERSITY
Abraham Badu-Tawiah, a chemist at The Ohio State University,
has invented an inexpensive, paper-based test for diseases including cancer and malaria.

Chemists at The Ohio State University are in the process of developing paper strips that can detect life-threatening diseases, including some cancers and malaria. Users can apply a drop of blood to the strip and then send it to a lab to be tested, according to a news release from the university.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/paper-strips-will-test-for-malaria-cancer-at-home_us_57743ec1e4b042fba1cf1260?section=

The Shawshank Redemption - Trailer - (1994) - HQ

Save the Date?

An excerpt from News 360 -

Amazon's Prime Day clearout returns on July 12th
Amazon's going to try and make Prime Day a thing in perpetuity.

By Daniel Cooper

In order to build hype for July 12th, Prime members will be teased with a series of countdown deals leading up to the big day. Between July 5th and 11th, users will be offered bargain bundles such as a 32-inch TV and a bundled Fire TV stick for $119.99. They'll also get the chance to win a "Prime Music Experience," that involves hanging out with artists such as Pentatonic, Flo Rida or Blink 182. All you have to do to enter is listen to a song from a "select Prime Music playlist," each one associated with a prize.

http://news360.com/digestarticle/XDkLrKD_RUOc0V-Ajf-mVg

Introducing Project Bloks

The Subtle and Not So Subtle Messages

An excerpt from the Washington Post - 

‘Super racist’ pool safety poster prompts Red Cross apology

By Peter Holley

(Courtesy Margaret Sawyer)

The poster — titled “Be Cool, Follow The Rules” — depicts various children playing at the pool. But white children are labeled as behaving in a “cool” way while children of color who are depicted defying pool rules are labeled “not cool.”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2016/06/27/super-racist-pool-safety-poster-prompts-red-cross-apology/?tid=pm_national_pop_b

You Could Help

An  excerpt from The Huffington Post -

You Could Help Save A Trafficking Victim’s Life With Your Hotel Room Pic
Hotel rooms are optimal locations for traffickers because they can pay in cash and switch locations on a nightly basis.
By Eleanor Goldberg

Just snapping a photo of your hotel room the next time you go on vacation could help save a trafficking victim.

Human trafficking is the world’s fastest growing crime, and victims who are exploited for sex aren’t just getting victimized in unsuspecting homes and closed off backrooms.

Hotels are optimal spots for traffickers to exploit their victims because they can pay for the rooms in cash and change locations on a nightly basis without being detected.

From 2007 to last year, the National Human Trafficking Resource Center and Polaris’s BeFree texting helpline received 1,434 reports of human trafficking in hotels and motels.

That’s why TraffickCam, a new app, is urging vacationers to upload pictures of their hotel rooms. The goal is to create a database of hotel rooms to match up against photos that pimps post online.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/taking-a-photo-of-your-hotel-room-could-help-save-a-trafficking-victims-life_us_57714091e4b0f168323a1ed7?section=

A Needed Road Map

An excerpt from Now I Know -

The Negro Motorist Green Book

Every year, Zagat publishes a series of guides to the restaurants in virtually every major city in the United States. The guides feature short, curated descriptions of each eatery, touching upon the must-have (or must-avoid) dishes, the service, the decor, and of course, the price. But it what Zagat doesn’t tell you is if they’ll serve you if you’re black.

Hopefully, there’s good reason for that -- for more than fifty years, it’s been illegal for a restaurant in the United States to refuse service to a diner on the basis of his or her race, and culturally, doing so is simply unacceptable. But again, that wasn’t true a half-century or so ago. For an African-American family, traveling through certain parts of the country was difficult, as finding a place to eat or sleep which wanted your business could be hard to come by.

And before the law could catch up to the problem, a postal worker did.

The result: the Negro Motorist Green Book

http://nowiknow.com/the-negro-motorist-green-book/

He Chose Us

There has been lots of chatter about Jesse Williams' spectacular speech last night as the recipient of the 2016 BET Humanitarian Award.  This young man was oozing with enlightenment and encouragement, all for the world to see.

The thing that resonated with me was his acknowledgement of, and appreciation for, black women and the fact that too often we're at the forefront of struggles to make changes, and yet while we're taking care of everyone else, few people are taking care of us.

In acknowledging that this award is to be shared with others, he said, “Now, this is also in particular for the black women in particular who have spent their lifetimes dedicated to nurturing everyone before themselves. We can and will do better for you.”

How many times have we heard this?

Right.

Not many.

One of the articles I read about the speech compared Jesse to President Obama, a biracial man who chose a sho' nuff, no doubt about it, black woman as his wife.  So too, has this young man.

Should this make a difference?

Should it matter?

You decide.

Whichever way the wind blows for you, this I can say with confidence.

I can't help but be filled with pride when I see someone - young, gifted, and talented (and truth be told could have any woman he wanted) - who makes a choice to chose someone who looks like me.

Does this invalidate those who choose otherwise?

No.

But from my side of the fence, I appreciate the validation.

And this was just one of many truths he spoke.

He was on fire!

Cultural appropriation anyone?

If you haven't seen his speech, check it out in the previous post, or google Jesse Williams BET.

Jesse Williams BET Awards Speech 2016

Buried in Boxes

As quickly as it began, my time here in the Middle East is coming to an end.

I'll be heading back to the US in mid-July.

As I've said many times before, this has been an amazing journey, one that I'll treasure forever.

It has been a time of extraordinary growth and reflection, and I'm confident in saying I'm a better person because of it.

 

So, as I pack up my world once again, please understand as I go dark for a few days while everything gets sorted.

It has been a blast.

As always, thanks for coming along with me.

Emily Valentine: 'The first lady of rugby'

Olli Self-Driving Electric Bus By IBM’s Watson And Local Motors

You first.

**Unfold your new garden.**

Calysta Bevier: Teen Cancer Survivor Gets Simon Cowell's Golden Buzzer -...

Tennessee fireflies: A summertime light show

http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/fireflies-of-the-great-smoky-mountains

How Will I Be Remembered?

The older I get, the more precious I recognize time is.

I wonder, how will I be remembered?

Will I be remembered as a hothead, quick to anger and quick to pounce?

Will I be remembered as close-minded and stubborn?

Will I be remembered as selfish and self-centered?

Will I be remembered as a woman who could put any man to shame in a cussing battle?

I wonder because I've been all of those things.

My life has been littered with ugly periods.

Periods of self-pity and self-doubt.

Periods of lashing out instead of looking in.

But as I approach 60 years old, I appreciate life so much more, and I am better equipped to understand that I have choices.

I know now that I've always had choices.

I can choose to be miserable, or I can choose to be happy.

I can choose to be a b*tch, or I can choose to be a blessing.

I can choose to see the good in others, or I can nitpick and magnify every perceived fault.

I can choose to see life as a glass half full, or I can choose to see it half empty.

Quoting Oprah, here's what I know for sure.

I know that if I dropped dead today (heaven forbid), I have lived a magnificent life.

Not just because of this marvelous adventure I've been on for the past five years that has taken me around the world, but because of the people I've met along the way, and the family I was blessed to be born in, and the one I was even more bless to have.

I thank God for the little country town of China, Texas where I first learned to live alone in peace.

I thank God for my mother for the wisdom and understanding she imparted, and the wherewithal to finally "get" all of the things she was trying to teach us.

I thank God for my brothers who wrapped me in love and protection, especially Forrest, who has been more of a father to me than our father ever was.

I thank God for the segregated environment where I learned my worth when I was knee-high to a duck so that we when did integrate, it was rooted in my being.

I thank God for the experience of attending an HBCU, where there were thousands of black folks with one goal in mind, to be better so that we could do better.

I thank God for my ex-husband (believe me when I say I never thought I'd be writing these words) for the good times and bad because it was through these experiences that I was forced to grow up.

I thank God for my boys who are now men with families of their own, men that I'm so very proud of.

I thank God for my grandchildren.  What a blessing they are!

I thank God for this time of living and working in a foreign land and how it has opened my eyes and broadened my perspective in unimaginable and extraordinary ways.

So, here's how I hope to be remembered.

I hope that I'll be remembered as someone who loved to learn.

As someone who learned from her mistakes.

As someone who learned to be brave enough to speak her mind, not in anger and retribution, but in love and understanding (I'm still working on this one).

As someone who had faith in God and the goodness of humanity.

As someone who strived to be a blessing, and never a burden.

As someone who appreciated life and the many lessons it teaches us.

I hope that I'll be remembered as the flawed human being I am, always striving to be better.

Say What?

An excerpt from LifeHack - 

Science Explains How Camping For A Week Can Largely Change Your Productivity

When someone starts talking about productivity, and how to be more productive our mind often drifts off. We may think that to become more productive we need to undertake some difficult model of behavior or to adopt habits that we feel will be hard to stick to. However, recent scientific findings have indicated a week of camping can effectively change our sleeping patterns, which in turn can lead to greater alertness and productivity, because early risers are found to be more productive than night owls.

http://www.lifehack.org/405674/science-explains-how-camping-for-a-week-can-largely-change-your-productivity

Beyoncé, Ed Sheeran & Gary Clark Jr. Tribute Stevie Wonder

From BlackAmerciaWeb -

Top 10 Best Musical Tributes Ever



http://blackamericaweb.com/2016/06/22/top-10-best-musical-tributes-ever/

Portable Showers

An excerpt from Upworthy -

He turned a $5,000 truck into a mobile shower that's making a big difference.
JUNE 21, 2016

That's why Austin wants to make it easier for people in his city to get clean using an incredible mobile shower truck.

It's like a food truck, but for showers! Photo by Shower to the People, used with permission.

The brilliant name for his new nonprofit? Shower to the People.

Jake bought an old truck off Craigslist for $5,000, and after a successful GoFundMe campaign and help from a bunch of really smart people, he retrofitted it to house two private shower stalls with sinks and mirrors.

The unit hooks up to fire hydrants and heats the water using an external generator, meaning the truck can travel and provide free, warm showers pretty much anywhere in the city.

According to Austin, St. Louis has plenty of homeless shelters, but the showers are usually only open to official residents.

"Folks will save up what money they can find and try to get a gym membership. Beyond that they'll use public sinks, libraries, the river. Or they'll go into people's backyards to use the hose," he says.

The Shower to the People truck is an awesome, low-cost solution that offers more privacy, more convenience, better-kept facilities, and shower services for 60 people every day.

http://www.upworthy.com/he-turned-a-5000-truck-into-a-mobile-shower-thats-making-a-big-difference?c=upw1

Meet Atlanta's HeaveN Beatbox

My. My. My.

ESPN.  The Body Issue.

http://espn.go.com/espn/feature/story/_/page/body/espn-magazine-body-issue?ex_cid=espntw

Broadway for Orlando - What The World Needs Now is Love - Music Video

http://www.broadwayrecords.com/shop/broadway-for-orlando-what-the-world-needs-now-is-love-mp3

Does It Matter?

Excerpts from Atlas  Obscura -

In Indonesia, Non-Binary Gender is a Centuries-Old Idea
Modern Western culture is slowly acknowledging gender fluidity, but "third genders" and other classifications have existed throughout history.
By Jessie Guy-Ryan

This week, an Oregon judge ruled to allow Jamie Shupe, a 52-year-old former Army mechanic, to list themselves as non-binary—that is, neither male nor female on their driver’s license. The ruling is likely the first time that an individual has been allowed to legally identify as non-binary in the United States, and represents part of a growing effort around the world to extend legal recognition to those whose identities fall outside the masculine/feminine gender binary.

~~~~~~~~~

The Bugis are the largest ethnic group in South Sulawesi, Indonesia, and are unique in their conception of five distinct gender identities. (Bold is mine). Aside from the cisgender masculinity and femininity that Westerners are broadly familiar with, the Bugis interpretation of gender includes calabai (feminine men), calalai (masculine women) and bissu, which anthropologist Sharyn Graham describes as a “meta-gender” considered to be “a combination of all genders.” In a 2002 article for the International Institute of Asian Studies’ Newsletter, Graham explains the key role bissu play in Bugis culture.

http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/in-indonesia-nonbinary-gender-is-a-centuriesold-idea

Sacrifices Made in the Name of Science

From Atlas Obscura -

Ranking the Pain of Stinging Insects, From ‘Caustic’ to ‘Blinding'

One passionate entomologist poetically describes and ranks over 70 species' painful stings.
By Lauren Young

http://www.atlasobscura.com/articles/the-colorful-pain-index-of-the-stinging-ants-bees-and-wasps-around-the-world

Yes It Is

Playing Piano on a Glacier

Only in Houston

An excerpt from the New York Times -

50,000 Cans of Beer on the Wall
By MANNY FERNANDEZ

Zoning is an easy subject to grasp in Houston: It doesn’t exist here. Houston is the largest city in the country without zoning laws. The significance of this didn’t sink in until last year, when my son was in kindergarten and he came up with the idea of turning our house into a public library. I’m not quite sure what he envisioned, and whether he wanted bookcases in all our bedrooms or just his, and whether we would be open on Saturdays or just on weekdays.

http://www.nytimes.com/2016/06/16/insider/50000-cans-of-beer-on-the-wall.html?hpw&rref=times-insider&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=well-region&region=bottom-well&WT.nav=bottom-well

8th-Grader Jack Aiello Impersonates Donald Trump In Presidential Graduat...

Yondr pouches help you turn off your phone and tune into life

Watch These NYC Subway Heroes Join Forces To Rescue A Man From The Tracks

Happy Father's Day

To all you dads, young and old.

To all you who are absolutely clueless, and know it, and to the seasoned veterans who have figured it out.

I think fathers have it harder.

Somehow, so much about being a mom is instinctive.

Fatherhood, not so much.

How else do you explain how a man can walk out on his kids, seeing them every blue moon, if then, and be OK with that.

Although it happens with women who walk away from their offspring, but it's rare.

So, for all of you dads who have stuck it out, kudos.

We don't need you to be perfect, we just need you to be there.

Even if you're separated or divorced, you can and should, still be there for your kids.

They need you.

They need to know that no matter what, you've got them.

They need to know they can depend on you.

You see, as much as we moms fill in the blanks and pull up the slack when you're gone, by choice or otherwise, it's no substitute for the real thing.

For those of you who would argue that some people are better off with their fathers out of their lives (those who are abusive, for example), I agree.  Many a mom has run away to escape the horrors in their home, but I'd like to think that this is rare, too.

I choose to believe that most people want to do the right thing.

Most fathers want to be there.

They want to be better.

So for those of you fathers who are there, trying, doing your best to make it work,

Happy Father's Day!

And for those of you who are not . . .

Come on guys, you got this.

Lessons Learned

An excerpt from the Washington Post -

I watched my dad work, and I learned about life
By Ted Gup

I had much to learn. Once I forgot to lower the beam into the steel brace securing the back door, leaving it vulnerable to thieves. Father was not pleased. He explained to me that our “livelihood” depended upon the store and that it was my duty to safeguard it. I had let him down.

But I also remember the Sunday when, on our way to the Stark County Fair, we stopped by the store and discovered that it had been broken into. The drawer to the cash register was emptied and smashed in pieces on the floor, and a rack of suits was gone. Instead of fuming, Father calmly phoned the alarm company and off we went to the fair. We cheered the tractor pulls, sized up the prize bulls and marveled at gargantuan pumpkins — but not another word was spoken of the break-in. A few days later my father took out an ad in the local paper, The Repository, offering the robbers free alterations for anything that didn’t fit and a standing invitation to return as paying customers. From that I learned that what really counted lay beyond the reach of thieves. And, yes, that humor could be found in unexpected places.

I liked working in the back of the store. My father made sure the bathroom detail fell to me. It was a message intended not only for me but also for everyone in the store who watched to see how the boss’s son would be treated. With brush and Comet, I proudly scrubbed away the stains until the bowl and sink gleamed. I broke up boxes and piled them high in the back alley for removal. I wielded a wide broom around and under the tailor’s shop and steam press, sweeping up fallen razor blades, bits of chalk, bobbins, severed cuffs, orphaned threads and discarded plastic coffee cups. It was also my chance to talk with the tailor, Remo, an Italian who always drove a new Riviera, and to steal a glimpse of his wall calendar that featured pin-ups. My father respected him and the hours he put in. Remo, my father explained, was an “immigrant,” a word he uttered as if it were a title of nobility and a synonym for sacrifice.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/what-i-learned-from-watching-my-dad-at-work/2016/06/17/455c2dcc-3308-11e6-8758-d58e76e11b12_story.html?hpid=hp_hp-more-top-stories_bz-gup454pm_1-duplicate%3Ahomepage%2Fstory