Not Black Enough, Part 2

What do you think?

http://blackamericaweb.com/2014/10/26/how-black-do-you-have-to-be-to-be-black-enough/?omcamp=es-baw-nl&utm_source=Sailthru&utm_medium=email&utm_term=BAW%20Subscribers%20%28Daily%29&utm_campaign=2014-27-10-%20BAW%20Daily

A Tech Pioneer in Diversity

Inspiring post #2.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2014/10/26/ken-coleman-african-american-tech-pioneer-talks-about-diversity/17747925/

Be Inspired

My Momma used to say, "No matter how hard you think you have it, there are many others who are so much worse off than you, so no matter where you find yourself, be grateful."

I was reminded of this when I watched the video clip below.

It will take six minutes of your time.

I promise you, you'll be inspired.

http://www.upworthy.com/he-got-invited-to-a-random-event-on-facebook-it-ended-up-changing-his-life?c=upw1

Change of Heart

This article is long, but one of the best I've read on how the reality of seeing your point of view invalidated by the reality of life all around you, that somehow you'd never noticed before.

http://www.salon.com/2012/09/10/why_i_left_the_gop/

Father/Son Relationships

This is an insightful article about the relationship of fathers and sons as it relates to the presidency.

Very interesting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/26/opinion/sunday/frank-bruni-fathers-sons-and-the-presidency.html?_r=0

Not Black Enough

When Ben and Frankie were growing up and we were making decisions about their education, we chose the best schools we could find, and/or afford, and most times they were in the extreme minority where they were the only black kids in their classes.

Culturally, they would be in a desert, but that was OK because I was so "black conscious," I was sure that was enough.  I thought they'd get all of the cultural exposure at home and through planned events geared in large part for this.

Boy, was I wrong.

Again, the decisions were made with the best intentions, though.

What I didn't realize, is what the parents of the black woman in the previous post being raised in an all-white environment also didn't recognize, is that kids need peers who look like them and share some of the same experiences as them.

I was hurt, upset, disappointed, and angry when Ben and Frankie started dating, and there wasn't a black girl in the mix . . .

AT ALL!

I felt it was an absolute slap in the face to me as a black woman, that their standard of beauty was like so many others, leaning heavily toward blond and blue-eyed.

I was pissed.

And yet, they always came back with, "It's your fault Mom.  Look at where we went to school.  Look at who our peers are.  This was designed in large part by you."

Well, damn.

I did not want to hear that.

But, it was the truth.

The grand plan had succeeded greatly in one area, in the education they received, but socially, it had failed.

Or had it?

Doors of opportunity were opened that would have been unheard of in my day, and those opportunities led to their meeting wonderful women that became their wives.

But, I still live with this nagging feeling of failure.

Of course, hindsight is 20/20.

If given a chance to do it all over again, I would absolutely do some things differently.

First, I would get off my high horse of "blackness," thinking I was enough to spread all the black knowledge they needed, and make sure they had many more opportunities to be with kids who looked like them and shared experiences of growing black in this very white world.

Growing Up in An All-White Environment

I believe there's a special place in heaven for (most) people who adopt kids.

Raising children can be wonderful, joyous, and thrilling, but it is not for the faint of heart.  It takes a lot of work on the best of days.

I also think that people who adopt kids outside of their own race, do it with the best intentions, and many times with great results.

But there's another side of the story that warrants examination.

This quick video clip is a black woman discussing being raised by a white family in an all-white environment.  It sheds light on the challenges families like hers face.

http://live.huffingtonpost.com/r/highlight/what-its-like-as-a-black-woman-growing-up-in-a-white-family/5434208cfe3444f7d10006cf?cn=tbla

To Whup or Not to Whup . . .

That is the question.

This topic garnered a lot of discussion recently, including here on this site.  It is not my desire, nor intent, to rehash what's already been said, but a new television show, "Black-ish" did an awesome job of addressing the problems associated with this aspect of child rearing.  It was more nuanced than any other discussion about this that I've seen or heard.

Definitely worth checking out.

The episode is called "Crime and Punishment."

You can find it on abc.com, hulu, Amazon or iTunes 

It's My Picture!

The Dish is a website that I visit often, and it has a cool feature called, "A View From My Window," where people send in pictures they've taken from inside wherever they are.

I submitted one of mine that was taken in Armenia, and it was featured in their contest where you have to guess where this is.

http://dish.andrewsullivan.com/2014/10/18/the-view-from-your-window-contest-227/

What a treat!

Sheet Music

I stumbled on this app in the iTunes Store called forScore, that provides an enormous catalog of sheet music for all of you musicians out there.

https://appsto.re/us/iuJRv.i

There really is an app for everything!

Six Minutes of Truth

This young North Carolina Representative nails what's wrong with our government. Based on the response of those he's talking to, I'm guessing his tenure might be short lived.

That's a pity.

http://vimeo.com/102299905

Scattered

If you've ever had a conversation with me, you know that I'm known for jumping around, moving from subject to subject.

There was a dear friend and mentor that I used to meet with once a month or so, and he'd always bring a pad to jot down the ideas and thoughts that were shared, to make sure he followed the flow of the conversation.

One day he asked how my boys were able to follow chats with me.

Of course, it was natural for them.  My scattered-brained conversations were all they knew.

I thought of this recently when someone commented on the many varied things I post about.

In my mind's eye, when I publish something, it's me having a conversation with you.

It's a little one-sided, but you get my drift.

These are things that interest me, and hopefully you find them interesting as well.

So, thanks for hanging in there, as I jump from pillow to post.

I'll always be grateful that you're taking this ride with me.

Who Knew?

This article in the New York Times about an autistic kid having conversations with Siri, Apple's “intelligent personal assistant” is illuminating.  Who knew this technology would be helpful in this way?

Fascinating!

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/19/fashion/how-apples-siri-became-one-autistic-boys-bff.html?action=click&pgtype=Homepage&region=CColumn&module=MostEmailed&version=Full&src=me&WT.nav=MostEmailed&_r=0

Jimi

There are two camps when the discussion of Jimi Hendrix comes up, those who love him, and those who don't.  I'm most definitely in the latter one.

Like many talented artists who have died young, I think he was gifted beyond measure, trying to find his place in the world, and succumbed to the perils of drug use.

His was a complicated life, about to be immortalized on screen by the new movie, "Jimi:  All is By My Side" starring Andre Benjamin (aka Andre 3000).

In anticipation of that, this rather extensive article describing his relationship and conflict with the black community, is explored.

http://www.cnn.com/2014/10/18/showbiz/jimi-hendrix-invisible-legacy/index.html

Unique Jobs

The most unique job in every state.

Interesting.

I hope this is clear enough to read.  If not, follow this link:

http://big.assets.huffingtonpost.com/UniqueJobs.png

If I Could

You've all heard people say, if they could have a chat with their younger selves, they would say this or that.

Here's what I would say.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Be true to yourself.

Make yourself happy.

Don't spend a millisecond trying to please someone else.  Or trying to make someone else happy.  They are responsible for their own happiness, not you.

You look fine.

Your hair is fine.

Your weight is fine.

Stop finding fault and hating yourself.

Learn to love and appreciate yourself for who you are and what you bring.

Surround yourself with people who appreciate you for who you are, and quickly ditch those who try to blame their shortcomings on you, trying to make you feel bad.

Love yourself at every age.

Find the beauty in being you.

Don't be afraid to speak up, but know that sometimes, silence speaks volumes.

Be quick to forgive, yourself and others.

Treat people the way you want to be treated . . . always, even when it goes against the grain.

Pay attention to the older people in your life.  A word of wisdom from them can be more meaningful than reading a library of self-help books.

Take the time to discover who you are, and then nurture that person.

Always remember the people who helped you along the way.

And . . .

Just be you.

This is me in an undated photo after Frankie's birth.
I'm 28 or so.

Side note - Apologies to folks who received an earlier version of this post.  I was experiencing technical difficulties that the Google boys helped me with.  Thank God for them boys (and girls)!





                           

One of the Best

Without a doubt, one of the best shows that's ever been on TV is "The Wire."  It is set in Baltimore, and it's about the drug scene as it is experienced by the players and the cops who police them.  There are five seasons, and each one deals with a different aspect of life in the city.

Season 1 = Sets the scene - good guys vs. bad guys

What I love about this one is how nuanced the characters are.  Some of the good guys are incredibly flawed and some of the bad guys are incredibly kind and generous.

Season 2 = Takes place at the docks

It proves that corruption is everywhere, in every aspect of life in this city.

Season 3 = Social experiment 

This explores how good intentions often leads to unspeakable chaos.

Season 4 = An examination of the public school system

By far and above, the most thorough and accurate look at inner city education in America.

Season 5 = Takes on the newspaper business

This one explores the politics that drives the decision-making process of what goes to press.

If you decide to watch this show, (it's available on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon and others), but don't want to invest in all five seasons, then watch season four.  It's phenomenal.

An Interesting Article . . .

On an exciting new film debuting today in the US.

What is really fascinating though, are the comments at the end of the post.  Click on the blue tab in the left margin that says "22 comments" to get a glimpse of how much work we STILL have to do.

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/10/17/movies/dear-white-people-about-racial-hypocrisy-at-a-college.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&version=HpSumSmallMedia&module=pocket-region&region=pocket-region&WT.nav=pocket-region&_r=0

Being the Only One

Most black folks are used to being in situations where we're the "only one."  The only black face in a sea of white ones.  It can be uncomfortable, but mostly, you learn to adjust and recognize that it is a part of the world in which we live.

Interestingly, I met a white woman here who is experiencing the same thing.  She's been in situations where she's the only one, and she was sharing how awkward and uncomfortable she feels.  I told her, "Welcome to my world."  Although to be fair, now that I'm in the Middle East, most folks look more like me.

Anyway, I ran across this article that discusses a little black girl who is the "only one," and how her folks helped her to navigate these waters.

http://www.essence.com/2014/10/16/when-your-child-only-black-girl-class

What Going to Work Looks Like Around the World

Revealing images beyond the suit and tie concept of work.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/10/15/urban-photographer-of-the_n_5984840.html