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Monday, June 8, 2015

Good News!

Jalen Rose Leadership Academy’s Entire Inaugural Graduating Class Headed to Promising Future

The former NBA star opened the school in 2011 and saw his first class graduate Saturday. One hundred percent of the graduating class will either attend college or a trade or technical school or go into the military.

Posted: 
 
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The 2015 graduating class of the Jalen Rose Leadership Academy TWITTER

In 2011, Jalen Rose put his money where his heart is and started a school in his hometown of Detroit. On Saturday the 13-year NBA player-turned-ESPN and ABC analyst told the 100 young men and women of the school's first graduating class, "The only person that you are destined to become is the person you decide to be."

According to the Detroit News, all the students who started at the Jalen Rose Leadership Academy in 2011 graduated, and 100 percent of the graduating class will be either attending college or a trade or technical school or serving in the military.

The Detroit News notes that many of the "students worked hard and received full scholarships to the schools of their choice, including University of Michigan, University of Michigan, Dearborn, and Michigan State University," with the "total amount of gift aid for the Class of 2015 exceeding $2.1 million."

Each senior received a tablet and was treated to inspirational speeches from Detroit-native rapper Big Sean (who, according to the newspaper, graduated from high school with a 3.7 GPA) and adopted Detroit hero Isiah Thomas.

"I truly have love for the city. It made me who I am," Big Sean, whose real name is Sean Anderson, told the students. "I feel like we can do anything because our city has gone through so much. We have seen the bottom and we have seen the top. No matter what, we are going to be who we are and find a way to survive."

Thomas, the Hall of Fame former point guard for the Detroit Pistons, wasted no time in dropping a basketball analogy.

"You just made it to the playoffs," Thomas, now president of the WNBA Liberty, said. "Now we have to get ready for the finals. Your job, your responsibility as leaders, is to make sure you leave the door open. Jalen Rose, thank you for opening that door."

Rose told all the students that although they are leaving the school, they are not leaving the school family.

"This is not 'Goodbye,' " Rose said, according to the Detroit News. "This is just 'See you later.' The job is not done."

Amazing Grace

Is the name of a wonderfully rich, smooth, creamy lotion that I use.



I discovered this on one of the international flights I was on where you can regularly find fine lotions and perfumes for use on the long flights.

In fact, I thought this lotion was exclusive to the airlines, when I saw it later in a store and picked a bottle up.

It's from a company called Philosophy.

The label reads:

Amazing Grace

Philosophy:  The natural aging process may cause our bodies to descend, but our spirits need not descend into worry.  With time comes wisdom, character, strength, and perspective.  Our bodies are teaching us flexibility and the glory of embracing change on our beautiful journey.  We can fight against the flow, or we can yield to knowing our bodies, gaining our souls and finding our grace.

Isn't that an inspiring message.

The lotion feels amazing on your body, too.

You can find it on Amazon.



A Common Language

This is interesting because it's one of the first things I noticed when I arrived - hearing the local language sprinkled with techie language/brands, like "iPhone," "Facebook," "Snapchat," etc. - and it was exciting because it was something I recognized and could appreciate right away.

From The New York Times -

‘Le Selfie’

By RYAN BRADLEYJUNE 5, 2015




In the 19th century, language scholars coined a new word — “wanderwört” — to describe old words that wandered global trade routes from one language to the next. Back then the word referred to spices and other exotic goods: “Cumin” can be traced linguistically to ancient Sumerian, “ginger” began its journey in Sanskrit and “coffee” and “orange” started in Arabic. The wanderwörter of the information age travel more quickly, of course, and now even the French, ever resistant to vulgar Anglicisms, have accepted “email” and “le selfie,” which in 2016 will make its debut in France’s Larousse dictionary. Here we collect some of the other adjustments that high-tech terminology has made to languages around the world.

Liked it? Loved it 

In 2013, Facebook removed the thumbs-up icon from the now ubiquitous “Like” button, which the company has translated, with a few subtle variations, into 70 languages. While the thumb created cultural problems of its own (a raised thumb can mean “No. 1” in Germany and an unprintable insult in Iran), the intensity of “like” can also be tough to gauge from nation to nation. The Lithuanian patinka and the Afrikaans hou van both just mean “like,” for instance, whereas the Dutch vind ik leuk is a noncommittal “This is nice,” and the Danish synes godt om is a seemingly more emphatic “like this well.”


Languages from top to bottom: Korean, English, Russian, Greek, Spanish, Malaysian, Hebrew


Lots of Laughs


In English, LOL stands for “laughing out loud.” In France, it’s “mdr,” for “mort de rire” (dying of laughter). In Thailand, the number “5” is pronounced “ha,” so putting three 5’s together, 555, reads as “hahaha,” or laughing out loud.



Song Remains the Same

In French, you tweetez and in German you twitterst. In American Sign Language, some of the many signs for Twitter and for the act of tweeting simply modify the A.S.L. sign for bird.




Obscene, Not Heard

Internet slang evolves quickly in China, where a lot of wordplay involves swapping in similar-sounding characters to get sensitive terms past censors. A classic example is the “grass mud horse,” 草泥马, a fictional creature usually depicted as an alpaca or a llama. That phrase is phonetically similar to a common insult that is unprintable in this magazine.



Exit Strategy

Around 2010 in Ukraine, Control-Alt-Delete, the Windows force-quit command, gained a specific name: Дуля (dulya). Dulya is also a three-fingered gesture, sometimes called the fig sign, that is a mellower version of an upraised middle finger.

Sunday, June 7, 2015

The Rigging of Jury Selection

From The New Yorker - (Bold is mine)

Why Is It So Easy for Prosecutors to Strike Black Jurors?

BY GILAD EDELMAN

Last week, the Supreme Court agreed to hear the case of Timothy Tyrone Foster, a black man sentenced to death by an all-white Georgia jury in 1987 for murdering an elderly white woman. Foster claims that the prosecution deliberately eliminated all four eligible black jurors. The state argues that race played no role in jury selection. It’s an odd argument in light of the evidence that emerged decades after Foster’s conviction: in their notes, the prosecutors highlighted the black jurors’ names in green; circled the answer “black” on the questionnaire where jurors had been asked to identify their race; labelled three black jurors “B#1,” “B#2,” and “B#3”; and identified which person to keep “if we had to pick a black juror.”

The Supreme Court may well grant Foster a new trial on the grounds that the state violated Batson v. Kentucky, a landmark 1986 case in which the Court declared it unconstitutional to strike potential jurors because of their race. But a victory for Foster won’t change the fact that, nearly thirty years later, prosecutors across the country, and especially in the South, continue to get away with intentionally striking black people from juries in trials of black defendants. The most remarkable thing about Batson, it turns out, is how easy it has been to ignore.

Jury selection occurs in two steps. First, the judge dismisses potential jurors “for cause” if they can’t be impartial. Second, after questioning the remaining jurors, the defense and the prosecution each have a number of peremptory strikes (the number varies by state) to remove jurors they don’t like until twelve are left. The lawyers don’t have to give any justification for these strikes, and they don’t need the judge’s approval. That poses a problem for a legal system that forbids racial discrimination: If the prosecutor doesn’t have to give a reason, what’s to stop him from getting rid of a juror because he’s black?

The Supreme Court’s answer in Batson was to allow a defendant to force the prosecution to explain a strike if it seems to be racially motivated. When making a Batson challenge, as it soon came to be called, the defense must first convince the judge that there is reason to suspect that a strike was based on race, usually by pointing out the high proportion of black jurors being targeted. Next, the prosecutor has to give a race-neutral reason for striking the juror. Then it’s up to the judge to decide whether the reason is legitimate or a pretext for a race-based strike.

Justice Thurgood Marshall voted with the majority in Batson, but in a concurring opinion he warned that its procedure wouldn’t really solve the problem of race-biased jury selection: it would be too easy for prosecutors to make up race-neutral reasons for striking a juror.

Marshall’s skepticism was quickly vindicated. As soon as Batson was decided, prosecutors started coming up with tactics to evade it. In a 1987 training video that became notorious when it was leaked years later, Jack McMahon, an assistant district attorney in Philadelphia, told new prosecutors, “When you do have a black jury, you question them at length. And on this little sheet that you have, mark something down that you can articulate later. . . . You may want to ask more questions of those people so it gives you more ammunition to make an articulable reason as to why you are striking them, not for race.”

A consensus soon formed that the Batson remedy was toothless. In a 1996 opinion, an Illinois appellate judge, exasperated by “the charade that has become the Batson process,” catalogued some of the flimsy reasons for striking jurors that judges had accepted as “race-neutral”: too old, too young; living alone, living with a girlfriend; over-educated, lack of maturity; unemployed, employed as a barber; and so on. The judge joked, “New prosecutors are given a manual, probably entitled, ‘Handy Race-Neutral Explanations’ or ‘20 Time-Tested Race-Neutral Explanations.’”

As it turns out, that really happens. In the nineteen-nineties, the North Carolina prosecutors’ association held training sessions where prosecutors got one-page handouts such as “Batson Justifications: Articulating Juror Negatives,” which listed reasons for striking jurors based on traits like age and body language. A similar list distributed in 2004 to Texas prosecutors included justifications like “Agreed with O. J. Simpson verdict” and “Watched gospel TV programs.”

Stephen Bright, the president of the Southern Center for Human Rights, who is representing Foster on its behalf, argued and won a Batson appeal at the Supreme Court in 2008. But Bright, a longtime capital trial and appellate lawyer, doesn’t see that victory as a vindication of the procedure.

“It just makes such a farce of the system,” he said. “Nobody—the judge, the prosecutor, the defense lawyers—nobody thinks the reasons are really the reasons they strike the people. They strike the people because of their race. I mean, we all know that. And then you try to come up with a good reason for doing it and see if you can get away with it.”

“You’re asking the judge to say that the prosecutor intentionally discriminated on the basis of race, and that he lied about it,” he went on. “That’s very difficult psychologically for the average judge.”

There are no comprehensive statistics on how often prosecutors strike jurors based on race, but there is little doubt that the practice remains common, especially in the South. In Caddo Parish, Louisiana, prosecutors struck forty-eight per cent of qualified black jurors between 1997 and 2009 and only fourteen per cent of qualified whites, according to a review by the Louisiana Capital Assistance Center. In Jefferson Parish, where a quarter of the population is black, the split was even greater—fifty-five per cent to sixteen per cent—so that twenty-two per cent of felony trials between 1994 and 2002 had no black jurors. According to a 2010 report by the Equal Justice Initiative documenting discrimination in eight Southern states, half of all juries that delivered death sentences in Houston County, Alabama, between 2005 and 2009 were all white; the other half had a single black juror. Houston County is twenty-seven per cent black.

In 2012, a North Carolina judge found that in capital cases between 1990 and 2010 prosecutors statewide struck potential black jurors at twice the rate of non-blacks.* A regression analysis showed that the disparity held even when controlling for other factors that correlate with race. In a pained opinion, the judge concluded, “Race, not reservations about the death penalty, not connections to the criminal justice system, but race, drives prosecution decisions about which citizens may participate in one of the most important and visible aspects of democratic government.”

Why do race-based peremptory challenges persist? Because race is an unfortunate but powerful basis for generalization. To state the obvious, black people are more likely to have been targeted or abused by police; to be affected by the extreme racial disparities in arrests, incarceration, and the death penalty; and to understand that crimes against black victims are prosecuted less vigorously than those against whites. All things being equal, a prosecutor has reason to think that a black juror is less likely to side with the government against a black defendant than a white one. (Former prosecutors with whom I spoke stressed that attorneys defending black clients are just as likely to strike whites in order to get more blacks on the jury. The Supreme Court has held that defense strikes of white jurors also violate Batson.)

Research backs up the common-sense intuition that excluding black people from juries can influence verdicts. A 2004 study by the Capital Jury Project found that in cases with a black defendant and a white victim, having one or more black male jurors drastically lowered the chances of a death sentence. Experiments have shown that all-white mock juries spend less time deliberating, make more factual mistakes, and are more likely to convict a minority defendant than racially diverse juries. These studies suggest what some prosecutors have long assumed: striking potential black jurors raises the odds of a black defendant being convicted and increases the penalty he is likely to receive.

Even apart from trial outcomes, discriminatory strikes distort a basic premise of the jury system: the notion that a jury represents the whole community. “Maybe the most powerful thing that a citizen can do, more powerful than voting, is to serve on a jury,” Tye Hunter, the former director of the Center for Death Penalty Litigation, which brought the 2012 North Carolina case, said. “And the fact that black people are routinely over-excused from that duty is just another very public, very significant badge of inferiority and second-class citizenship.”

The defense bar celebrated Batson when it was decided. Even Justice Marshall, who had expressed concerns about its effectiveness, applauded the majority for taking “a historic step toward eliminating the shameful practice of racial discrimination in the selection of juries.” It’s clear today, though, that Batson rested on faulty assumptions. The Court placed too much faith in trial judges and underestimated prosecutors’ motivation to circumvent the rule, possibly because it refused to recognize that there was any rational reason to strike jurors based on race. And once it became clear that the Batson test wouldn’t do the trick, the Court refused to strengthen it. In fact, later decisions did the opposite, holding that judges can accept even a “silly or superstitious” reason—like a lawyer thinking that a prospective juror’s mustache is “suspicious”—as long as it doesn’t explicitly invoke race.

What should be done? In his Batson concurrence, Justice Marshall argued that only banning peremptory challenges would solve the problem. While that idea has picked up support from academics and judges, including Supreme Court Justice Stephen Breyer, it’s a political nonstarter. Most trial lawyers, even on the defense side, just don’t want to give up their ability to use strikes to shape the jury, and they have the clout to prevent it from happening.

Richard Bourke, who has worked on Batson appeals as the director of the Louisiana Capital Assistance Center, suggested that the most powerful, realistic reform would be to have states track the racial makeup of jury selection in the same way they track the racial statistics of traffic stops. He has a point. Neither courts nor legislatures will think seriously about replacing the feeble Batson procedure if there aren’t public objections to it. But cases like Timothy Tyrone Foster’s, where the defense uncovers the prosecution’s blatantly racist notes, are rare. Race-based peremptory strikes are almost always invisible, or at least, as Batson has shown, hard to prove. Only when such strikes are added up can they be seen. Batson is a reminder that a legal system formally blind to race is just as often blind to racism.

Correction: A previous version of this post misidentified the North Carolina court that issued the 2012 opinion.

Fox Movie-of-the-Day App

This app offers discounted movies every day.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/movie-of-the-day!/id987008789?mt=8

As seen on:

http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2015/06/07/cutting-the-cord-fox-deal-of-the-day-app/28435979/

Books for Boys

From The Root - 

Barbershops Get Stocked With Books for Boys, Thanks to Ala. Attorney

The Books for Boys project seeks to promote literacy and self-esteem.

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Royal Touch Barbershop owner Reggie Ross gives a touch-up to a young customer while he reads in Palm Beach County, Fla.
WPTV SCREENSHOT
Aarticle published in The Root last year about a Florida barbershop that promotes literacy sparked a movement miles away in the cities of Prichard and Mobile, Ala.

Freddie Stokes launched Books for Boys about three weeks ago. He initially intended to establish small libraries, of about 75 books each, in two or three barbershops, but the response to his initiative was so overwhelming that Stokes says he’s now able to establish libraries in at least six barbershops. The first one will open in mid-June.

“We don’t want to stop until all the barbershops in this community have libraries,” he says, with an air of reserved confidence that it will be done.

Stokes is supplying books with which black boys can identify. “When our boys say they don’t like to read, a lot of that is coming from not being interested in reading about characters that don’t look like them,” he explains. His growing stockpile includes biographies, such as Malcolm Little: The Boy Who Grew Up to Become Malcolm X12 Rounds to Glory: The Story of Muhammad Ali and Barack Obama: Son of Promise, Child of Hope.

In addition to promoting literacy, Books for Boys aims to raise self-esteem. Stokes grew up in public housing and struggled early in school, having to repeat the third grade. A teacher inspired him to read books, including those about successful African Americans, which allowed him to dream big and ultimately achieve his goals.

stokes_freddie_d._one_
Freddie Stokes RODNEY R. CLIFTON

Stokes worked in classrooms for two years through Teach for America, an organization that places recent college graduates and professionals in underserved classrooms. He introduced his students to books with positive black characters and watched their self-esteem grow.

“When I went from the classroom to the courtroom, I was able to connect the violence to a lack of reading and self-esteem,” says Stokes, who is also a criminal defense attorney in private practice.

“After reading the article in The Root, I asked myself, why isn’t this [barbershop libraries] in every community?” he recalls. “Then one day I got an epiphany: Just get up and do the work. We can’t wait on the government to do it for us.”

Stokes admits that he didn’t expect the overwhelming response that he received. 

Barbershop owners said that they are expecting scores of boys to come in over the summer and would gladly offer them books. Parents, sometimes groups of them, are donating with a request that Stokes open a library where they take their sons. And local professionals are opening their wallets to sponsor barbershops, sometimes with a request that Stokes purchase books that emphasize math and science.

In a few short weeks, Stokes’ grassroots effort raised more than $1,500 on GoFundMe. Folks in the community have also given about $800 in cash donations toward the purchase of books. Stokes hopes that this small effort ignites a larger movement that reaches well beyond the Mobile area.

Nigel Roberts is a New York City-based freelance writer. Follow him on Twitter and Facebook.

Someone Thought This Was A Good Idea?


From The Root - 

‘Ghetto Award’ Lands Texas Teachers in Hot Water

The mother of a child at a middle school in Sulphur Springs, Texas is not laughing about the award.

Posted: 
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FOX 4 NEWS SCREENSHOT

Teachers at a Sulphur Springs, Texas middle school are under fire after handing out “Ghetto Awards” to an eighth-grade special education class, according to Fox 4 News.

Jerrika Wilkins sparked controversy after posting a photo of the certificate on Facebook, explaining that it was part of the “8th Annual Ghetto Classroom Awards,” given to her eighth-grade son at Sulphur Springs Middle School for saying “Huh?” a lot in class, the report says.

Wilkins told Fox News that her son was “pretty hurt” by the award. “He feels pretty inferior,” she said. “You know, he want to succeed. You know, it just kind of hurt his feelings.”

The school’s principal called an emergency meeting where Wilkins says that one of the teachers, Tim Couch, who also serves as pastor at the Cross Branch Cowboy Church in Sumner, Texas apologized. The other teacher, Stephanie Garner, offered to resign, but the family said they didn't want that, Fox writes. The district also issued an apology to the family.
The family says they were told the awards went out to all the kids in the classroom as a joke, and was not meant as a racial slur.

“Ghetto was not supposed to be a malicious intent to degrade him,” said Wilkins. “It was supposed to be all in fun. I didn't take it that way.”

Friday, June 5, 2015

Really, Really Interesting

From GQ - 

My Gucci Addiction

In the past few years, I've bought eighty-one leather jackets. Dozens of boots and leather gloves. I've purchased pants that cost $5,000. I own a $22,000 coat. This winter I took a tour of Milan's Fashion Week (all expenses paid by Gucci, in appreciation of my many, many purchases), where I spent tens of thousands more and began to seriously grapple, once and for all, with a compulsion that could cost me more than just my life savings. My name is Buzz Bissinger. I am 58 years old, the best-selling author of 'Friday Night Lights,' father of three, husband. And I am a shopaholic


http://www.gq.com/news-politics/newsmakers/201304/buzz-bissinger-shopaholic-gucci-addiction

Yeah California!

California will later this year become the first state in which women can get birth control without a doctor's visit.
http://www.vox.com/2015/6/5/8737007/birth-control-over-the-counter

Maybe We Should Consider This

Clearly what we've been doing for years in our war against drugs and the people who use them, is not working, so why not try a different approach?

~~~~~~~~~~

From The Washington Post - (Bold is mine)

Why hardly anyone dies from a drug overdose in Portugal

 By Christopher Ingraham June 5 at 11:56 AM

Portugal decriminalized the use of all drugs in 2001. Weed, cocaine, heroin, you name it -- Portugal decided to treat possession and use of small quantities of these drugs as a public health issue, not a criminal one. The drugs were still illegal, of course. But now getting caught with them meant a small fine and maybe a referral to a treatment program -- not jail time and a criminal record.

Whenever we debate similar measures in the U.S. -- marijuana decriminalization, for instance -- many drug-policy makers predict dire consequences. “If you make any attractive commodity available at lower cost, you will have more users," former Office of National Drug Control Policy deputy director Thomas McLellan once said of Portugal's policies. Joseph Califano, founder of the Center for Addiction and Substance Abuse at Columbia University, once warned that decriminalization would "increase illegal drug availability and use among our children."

But in Portugal, the numbers paint a different story. The prevalence of past-year and past-month drug use among young adults has fallen since 2001, according to statistics compiled by the Transform Drug Policy Foundation, which advocates on behalf of ending the war on drugs. Overall adult use is down slightly too. And new HIV cases among drug users are way down.

Now, numbers just released from the European Monitoring Centre for Drugs and Drug Addiction paint an even more vivid picture of life under decriminalization: drug overdose deaths in Portugal are the second-lowest in the European Union.



Among Portuguese adults, there are 3 drug overdose deaths for every 1,000,000 citizens. Comparable numbers in other countries range from 10.2 per million in the Netherlands to 44.6 per million in the U.K., all the way up to 126.8 per million in Estonia. The E.U. average is 17.3 per million.

Perhaps more significantly, the report notes that the use of "legal highs" -- like so-called "synthetic" marijuana, "bath salts" and the like -- is lower in Portugal than in any of the other countries for which reliable data exists. This makes a lot of intuitive sense: why bother with fake weed or dangerous designer drugs when you can get the real stuff? This is arguably a positive development for public health in the sense that many of the designer drugs that people develop to skirt existing drug laws have terrible and often deadly side effects.

Drug use and drug deaths are complicated phenomena. They have many underlying causes. Portugal's low death rate can't be attributable solely to decriminalization. As Dr. Joao Goulao, the architect of the country's decriminalization policy, has said, "it's very difficult to identify a causal link between decriminalization by itself and the positive tendencies we have seen."

Still, it's very clear that decriminalization hasn't had the severe consequences that its opponents predicted. As the Transform Drug Policy Institute says in its analysis of Portugal's drug laws, "The reality is that Portugal’s drug situation has improved significantly in several key areas. Most notably, HIV infections and drug-related deaths have decreased, while the dramatic rise in use feared by some has failed to materialise."

As state legislatures debate with issues like marijuana legalization and decriminalization in the coming years, Portugal's 15-year experience may be informative.


A Powerful TED Talk



Thursday, June 4, 2015

Tribute to Mama

Ben shared this song with me and it's a keeper.

I love it!

Share it with yo momma.


99 Cent Movie Rentals from iTunes

I discovered iTunes offers new release movies for 99 cents.  They change each week.  You can find them after the New & Noteworthy section.  The featured movie will have a red banner across the bottom that says "Movie of the Week."

Enjoy!



Know When To Hold 'Em, Know When To Fold 'Em

Contrary to popular belief, I'm not opposed to marriage.  I think it's a wonderful institution that can be enriching and rewarding.

However, I am opposed to staying in a marriage just for the sake of appearances or convenience.

I was on a road trip yesterday, listening to music, when I heard Sly Stone's "Thank You (Falettineme Be Mice Elf Agin)."  Translation = Thank You For Letting Me Be Myself Again.

The more I listened, the more pissed I got.  Thank you for letting me be me?

WTF?

Everyone should have the freedom to be who they are, no matter what anyone else thinks.

The problem is that we're (I am/was as guilty as anyone) willing to move ourselves to the background in our efforts to please someone else.

DON'T DO IT!

DON'T allow someone to take over your life.

DON'T dim your light so that his/her can shine brighter.

DON'T put his/her needs above your own.

OK, wait . . .

Occasionally - yes.

Always - HELL NO!

DON'T stay together hoping things will change or he/she will change.

They won't.

I'll end this rant with the thought from my Mom who used to say, "The folks that give you advice don't pay for your mistake," so take what I've said with a gain of salt.

I was married for 20 years (trying desperately for most of that time to make it work) and have been divorced now for 16 years.

I wish I'd given myself permission to take care of me for me.

That's my wish for you.

~~~~~~~~~~

From The Huffington Post -

4 Signs The Person You're With Isn't Right for You

By Sarah Williams for DivorcedMoms.com

Not long ago I found out what it's like to be with someone who says he loves you but somehow makes you feel utterly alone. We'd been together for years.

There I was sitting across the table from him at a nice restaurant, pushing asparagus around my plate with a salad fork, with nothing on my mind other than the thought that, eventually, we'd just be two strangers sharing dinner together, who can't describe to each other what's missing, or what's already gone. But did I really know it was going to end the whole time we were together?

If I'm honest with you and myself, I have to say yes. When I look back at our relationship, there were plenty of times there should have been something going off in my head somewhere that said: "Warning. He's not that great. Smiling comes naturally and doesn't have to be forced." Now that I have the fortune of hindsight, I know just how many signs there were along the way. Here are four signs that he isn't right for you.

People say you've changed:

This one's hard to pick up on at first. We all just want to love and be loved by somebody, and sharing interests and time with our partner is necessary when building any relationship. That's how I've always felt and how I still feel, to some degree. But now I know how important it is to hold onto what makes you unique.

Before we were together I spent weekends with my family and went out with my girlfriends at least once a week. Nothing extreme. After a while, as we became closer, I spent less and less time with the people I cared about. The truth was I couldn't. My partner made it impossible for me to go anywhere. When I wasn't with him, he texted constantly and wouldn't leave me alone. It got to the point where I just shut down, just quit making the effort to go out or be a position where I might be seen with anyone but him. I lost myself. If you're in a relationship that changes you and the way you used to live your life, maybe you should think about whether or not it's a healthy relationship.

You avoid his company:

I remember what it was like not being able to imagine what life would be like without my partner. I would lie in my bed half-dressed in his t-shirt and breathe in the scent of his lingering cologne, never thinking that someday its spicy top notes would become more nauseating than English Leather.

I couldn't put a finger on any point in time when avoiding his company became essential to my sanity, but somehow, after a while my schedule became filled with various errands and activities, as his schedule did as well. Have you made plans, real or otherwise, to have some time for yourself or with someone else? Why would you avoid someone who's supposed to mean so much to you?

He's number one:

This is one of the most blatant warning signs that it's time to pack up and hit the metaphorical road. Early on in our relationship, my partner made it very clear that what he said and did was what mattered most. This didn't happen years down the road. Oh no. It started subtly, with comments dropped here and there that if my plans included him that he'd have to come first. In the beginning, I laughed these comments off, but when his career, his friends, his life outside of what we shared mattered more than what I had to do or say, I couldn't ignore it any longer.

Humans are naturally social, people pleasers. If you have to give in to your partner's every whim and desire, what does that leave for you? A great relationship starts with mutual respect and a desire to foster the development of each partner. You don't have to come second. Love isn't a contest for attention or wish fulfillment.

You're reading about what to do:

When I was with my ex, I couldn't believe how many books, blogs, conversations and other relationship advice sources I sought. I read so much in an attempt to find out if I was the cause of our problems and how I could fix myself. It was crazy!

Just breathe. You're not crazy or likely the underlying cause of your problems. When things feel like they're falling apart, it's easy to start internalizing the problems. The bad thing is that oftentimes we blame ourselves for things that are completely out of our control.

Meeting the right person can feel as elusive as finding a polar bear in a snowstorm. But you don't have to feel stuck or settle for someone who isn't right for you. Happiness is something you shouldn't have to work hard for in a relationship. Truly, you have to be happy with yourself before you can find happiness or be with anyone else. If he's not right for you, don't waste your time. You're worth it!

Olympic Cyclist Vs. Toaster: Can He Power It?

From The Huffington Post -

Sisters

Zadie & Theia - 4 years old and 2 days old

Gifted

I believe we all have special gifts.

Something we are destined to do.

Some are more obvious than others.

What's yours?

Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Fly On!

Southwest is having a 72 hour sale.

Side note - Seriously, I should get paid for these plugs.

http://www.usatoday.com/story/todayinthesky/2015/06/02/southwest-fares-drop-below-100-round-trip-in-72-hour-sale/28366853/

124 Degrees!

That was the temperature yesterday in Al Ain, the town I used to live in.

Yes, they're melting.

Thankfully, the temperature hovered just over 100 where I am now.

http://www.thenational.ae/uae/uae-heatwave-arrives-as-temperature-hits-505c-in-al-ain?utm_source=Communicator&utm_medium=Email&utm_content=&utm_campaign=Abu%20Dhabi%20opens%20Irena%20to%20world

That's Different

From Atlas Obscura -

Check out China's Watermelon Museum.

http://www.atlasobscura.com/places/china-watermelon-museum?utm_source=Atlas+Obscura&utm_campaign=384fcd8fa6-&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_62ba9246c0-384fcd8fa6-59905913&ct=t()&mc_cid=384fcd8fa6&mc_eid=866176a63f

Virtual View of Cave in Vietnam

How do they do this?

Extraordinary!

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/2015/05/150520-infinity-cave-son-doong-vietnam-virtual-tour-photography-conservation/?utm_source=Atlas+Obscura&utm_campaign=384fcd8fa6-&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_62ba9246c0-384fcd8fa6-59905913&ct=t()&mc_cid=384fcd8fa6&mc_eid=866176a63f

MIT Robots

Amazing!

http://www.openculture.com/2015/06/mits-awesome-robots.html

Smart Phones & The Police

Timely info from USA Today - 
~~~~~~~~~~
When am I breaking the law with my smartphone? Can law enforcement simply take my phone from me?
The Indianapolis Star asked these questions of Indianapolis defense attorney Chris Eskew, who was a public defender for five years before opening his private practice. Eskew handles major felony cases, such as murder, sex crimes and drug-dealing charges.
Question: What are citizens' rights when it comes to filming in public?
Answer: "As long as you're in public and you're not harassing anyone, you're able to film what is going on around you. If you see police brutality or an individual committing a crime, you should be able to film that.
"It's very important that when people are recording the police, they not interfere with officers' duties. Keep distance and don't interfere with what's going on."
Q: If I'm taking a video of a fight or of police activity, can law enforcement take my phone right then and there?
A: "Police cannot take or even open up anyone's smartphone without a warrant. The Constitution protects us against illegal search and seizure."
A settlement in a recent federal lawsuit filed against the city of Indianapolis and a few Indianapolis Metropolitan Police Department officers required the agency to adopt a policy prohibiting officers from taking away cellphones of civilians who are recording police actions as long as the civilians are not interfering, according to a report by The Indiana Lawyer.
Indianapolis resident Willie King sued the city and the officers who took away his cellphone while he was videotaping them arresting another man. King was awarded $200,000 in damages.
Q: Can police seize and search the phone of a person they have arrested or suspect of a crime?
A: "If you're arrested and your phone is on you, they can take it, but they can't search it without a warrant."
A 2013 U.S. Supreme Court ruling in California held that police cannot search an arrested individual's phone without a warrant. The case involves David Riley, who was arrested on allegations of possession of concealed and loaded firearms after a traffic stop. Police seized and searched Riley's cellphone, where they found videos and text messages associating him with a street gang. They also found a picture of him standing in front of a car that police suspected had been involved in a recent shooting.
The evidence found in his phone resulted in criminal charges, including attempted murder. Riley was later convicted and sentenced. In his appeal, Riley argued that the evidence against him was obtained without a warrant and the search of his phone violated the Fourth Amendment. The California Court of Appeals upheld his conviction, and the California Supreme Court denied Riley's petition for review.
The country's highest court, however, ruled that the evidence against Riley was wrongly obtained. "Our answer to the question of what police must do before searching a cellphone seized incident to an arrest is accordingly simple — get a warrant," U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts wrote.
Q: Are amateur videos permissible in court as evidence?
A: "It can (be admitted as evidence), as long as proper evidentiary foundations are laid and someone can testify when it was taken. Every piece of evidence has to have evidentiary foundation."
Q: Can a person who's pulled over by police ask the officer if he or she can film the traffic stop?
A: "If you're holding the phone, most officers will not be OK with that. You can ask, but they'll probably say, 'Keep your hands where I can see them.'"
Q: What is considered a public place?
A: "Any place you're allowed to be, or, generally, people are allowed to be in. As far as criminal law is concerned, a public place is any place the general populace is invited to go. A courtroom is a public place. Lucas Oil Stadium is considered a public place even if it's privately owned.
"It's just a matter of, 'Are you allowed to record where you are?' In hospitals, you can take pictures and videos, until the hospital tells you you can't."
http://www.usatoday.com/story/tech/2015/06/02/when-can-you-video-the-police/28338847/

Hollywood's Whitewashing . . .

Again.

~~~~~~~~~~

From The Daily Beast - A critique of the movie "Aloha."

scathing statement issued by the Media Action Network for Asian Americans fired the first shot. “60% of Hawaii’s population is [Asian American Pacific Islanders]. Caucasians only make up 30 percent of the population [of Hawaii], but from watching this film, you’d think they made up 99 percent,” said MANAA President Guy Aoki. “This comes in a long line of films—The Descendants50 First DatesBlue CrushPearl Harbor—that uses Hawaii for its exotic backdrop but goes out of its way to exclude the very people who live there. It’s an insult to the diverse culture and fabric of Hawaii.” 

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2015/05/28/the-unbearable-whiteness-of-cameron-crowe-s-aloha-a-hawaii-set-film-starring-asian-emma-stone.html

Stay Calm Dad

You've probably seen this, but it's worth repeating.

It a conversation between a little girl and a 911 dispatcher.


Great Father's Day Gifts

I've plugged this store before, so forgive the repeat.

If you like unique, totally cool bow ties, this is the place for you - Wonder Lee's Upcycled Bow Ties

Also, they're having a sale, buy 2, get 1 free.




**SALE** BUY 2 BOW TIES GET 1 FREE

BUILD-A-BOW WONDERLAND

Check out our newest styles and visit the BUILD-A-BOW WONDERLAND where we give you the virtual experience of looking through our books to pick exactly what you want and allowing us to upcycle it for you!  Each one is 1 of 1 so if you see something buy something or be left with regrets of being Necked!

**From now until midnight 6/6/2015**
http://wonderlee123.storenvy.com/products?mc_cid=219683bbd5&mc_eid=fb6f477628

A Wheelchair That Climbs Stairs

I was made painfully aware of the challenges that are encountered when using a wheelchair, especially when Ben was bound to one for several months during his recovery from his accident.

Curbs, uneven pavement, potholes, narrow doorways, inclines and any area that is not ADA complaint, proved to be tough to maneuver in, through, or around.

It is with excitement and enthusiasm that I share this breakthrough in mobility for the wheelchair bound folks, that hopefully will be available in the very near future.



http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2015/06/01/wheelchair-climbs-stairs_n_7486624.html



I'm Waiting For This Superman



Monday, June 1, 2015

Grand Baby #3

It's a girl!

Theia (thay-a) Jean Sharpe

7 pounds 10 ounces, 20.4 inches

Proud parents:  Frankie & Cara

This make three granddaughters!  After all of my boys, I'm surrounded by girls. YEAH!

An Excerpt from Vassar University's 2015 Commencement Address

The speech was by Arianna Huffington, the creator of The Huffington Post. 
~~~~~~~~~~
If there is one thing I wish I knew when I was sitting where you are today -- and by the way, there are many -- it's that the Delphic admonition "Know Thyself" and Socrates' admonition that "the unexamined life is not worth living" are not ancient philosophical platitudes, but in fact the most relevant and important guiding truths for our lives. In the well-earned rush and excitement of your new life that's about to begin, it's remarkably easy to forget that most important relationship. That's because the ever-increasing creep of technology -- into our bedrooms, our brains, and our lives -- makes it much harder to connect with ourselves.
Indeed, for so many of us, connecting with ourselves has been so neglected that we will do anything to avoid it. Researchers from Harvard and the University of Virginia did an experiment in which they gave people a choice to be alone in a room, without anything -- no devices, no papers, no phones -- or get an electric shock. A whopping 67 percent of men chose the electric shock. I'm very happy to say that only 25 percent of women chose the shock. Seriously guys -- and a quarter of women -- what is wrong with you? It's not like you have to go shopping with your own thoughts or move in with them and pick out drapes, just be alone with them for fifteen minutes. Is it that bad?
In fact most of us actually know more about the state of our smartphones than we do about the state of ourselves. I bet pretty much everyone here knows approximately how much battery remains in your smartphone right now. And when it gets below 20%, giving us the dreaded red low power alert, we begin to get anxious and desperately look around for one of the little recharging shrines we meticulously maintain everywhere around us, lest anything should happen to our precious phone. But how much do you know, how aware are you, how mindful are you, of the state of your own being? Of your own energy and alertness and reserves? How quickly do you spring into action when you go into the low power zone?
It's worth reading in it's entirety.  You can find it at the link below.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/arianna-huffington/my-vassar-college-commencement-speech_b_7478828.html

Friday, May 29, 2015

Was It Worth It?

From Slate - 


I hope this works and you're able to input numbers into the boxes below, but if not, here's the link:

http://www.slate.com/articles/business/moneybox/2015/05/wedding_calculator_what_would_i_have_if_i_invested_instead.html?wpsrc=newsletter_slateplusweekly&sid=554654ea10defb39638b510d

~~~~~~~~~~

Did You Spend Too Much on Your Wedding?

If you’d invested in the stock market instead, here’s how rich you’d be.

Does the happiest day of your life also have to be the most expensive? Whether the average cost of a wedding is $31,000, as the Knot reports, or more likely closer to $10,000, it’s a steep price to pay just to watch your cousin’s latest boyfriend abuse the open bar. If we eloped and invested that money instead, we could spend it on things we’ll truly need down the road, like college for the kids or Jet Skis. Use Slate’s calculator below to find out how much money you’d have today if you had invested that money instead of throwing a wedding.
The Real Cost of Your Wedding
How many years have you been married?
If you're not sure, guess. And shame on you.
 years
About how much did you spend on your wedding?
$
Interactive by Chris Kirk. 

Anti-Mosquito App

What will they think of next?

Not sure if this works, but it free, so it's worth a shot.

Like most things in Texas, the mosquitoes are HUGE, so y'all might want to hurry up and try this.

Anti Mosquito - Sonic Repeller

My Favorite Guy Again

The "Gentleman Scholar, " from Slate -

When purchasing items from your corner bodega or, say, a carryout sushi place in an American city, where the native language of everyone working there is unmistakably clear, is it more polite to address the people working there and conduct business in their language of origin, or your own? I have been told that even if you are fairly fluent and have a pre-existing rapport with the staff, the former would be seen as patronizing or impolite.
Thank you for your question.
Are we talking about salutations?—like, Bonjour? That’s cool, mais oui.
Basic niceties? A modest dōmo arigatō never hurt anybody; go for it.
A jolly exclamation lifted from the heart to a fond acquaintance? ¡Órale!
But if there is the slightest bit of doubt, you should bite your non-native tongue.
The pitfalls here are matters of tone. I mean, first of all, that you run the of risk sounding condescending by implying that you are reaching across a barrier to bond with an immigrant who may turn out to speak English better than you. There’s also the danger of coming across as something of a showoff, or a brown-noser, or a cultural tourist on par with those sophomoric college students who end their junior-year-abroad programs with the delusion of having been assimilated into a senior position in local society. This is not to mention that hella many carryout sushi places are run by sons of Korea.
Also, there is the problem of tone in the strict phonological sense. To take one famous example: It’s pretty easy to mix up the words ask and kiss in Mandarin Chinese and thus to earn a scowl from your waitress when all you really wanted was more duck sauce.
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/gentleman_scholar/2015/03/do_black_barbershops_cut_white_hair_advice_for_modern_men.html



Zydeco

This music is uniquely found only in the Creole / Cajun world of Southeast Texas and Louisiana.  When I was growing up this was considered old folks' dancing.  It good to see the tradition was not lost, but is being passed on to a new generation.

Makes you want to shake a tail feather!




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OFVBghVUSwk

Japan's Brown Beauty

This beautiful brown beauty is Ariana Miyamoto, Miss Universe Japan 2015.  Some of her countrymen are not happy about her representing them on the world stage.

Read her story in the New York Times.  The link is below.


http://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/30/world/asia/biracial-beauty-queen-strives-for-change-in-mono-ethnic-japan.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=second-column-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0

Classic Ali

He's lauded as a the "greatest" now, but that wasn't always the case.




From The Upworthy -

http://www.upworthy.com/muhammad-alis-brilliant-response-to-being-drafted-in-1967-is-worth-repeating-over-and-over?c=upw1&u=6861cbea6edfdfe5a709ee39ad3c14b64135e61f

The Coolest App EVER!

It's "City Papers" and it contains local papers from cities all over the world.

Often when things are happening someplace, I'm curious what the local folks think about it.  This app lets you tap into these resources.

I absolutely love it!

Check it out for yourself using the link below.

https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/city-papers/id497263176?mt=8