Genuine Jordanians

I've been blessed to meet some great people in my travels, but the Jordanians have proven to be the warmest, kindest, and friendliest of all.

When we landed, I searched for someone holding up a sign with my name.  No luck. There was a guy holding a sign facing himself, that I couldn't read it.  When I inquired, still no luck, but he asked to see my paperwork, made some calls, and helped me to get a cab, and told me how much I could expect it to cost.  I offered to pay him for his help, but he simply said, "Welcome to our country."

It was almost midnight.

The cab driver asked if I had a prearranged tour guide.  I did not.  So we arranged for him to be my guide for the next two days.

Today we drove south to the city of Petra, famous for its mountains, and the amazing architecture cut into the mountains.

This is an incredible sight of the city below.
The picture doesn't do it justice.

Look at the sky.  It was a perfect day.

You have to believe in God when you see this.
Amazing!

This is carved into the mountain.
Incredible!

Thank God for Internet service, but uploading the pictures is taking a while.  I'll upload more when I get home.

More soon.

Celebrations

National Day, coming up on December 2nd, commemorates the 41st birthday of the UAE with a country-wide party that will go on for days.

Everybody and everything is wrapped in the flag colors of red, black, green and white.  T-shirts, hats, pins, dresses, scarves, jewelry, boas, and everything else you can imagine that can be worn as a show of pride, is being worn and on full display for the world to see.

This is at the assembly yesterday.
It's a sea of dark-haired girls.

Buildings and homes all over the city have huge flags tied to their sides for maximum visibility.

The palm trees that line so many of the medians, have colored lights on their trunks. You guessed it - they are either red, green or white.

You know the Puerto Rican Parade in New York City and how flamboyant it can be? These celebrations make that look like a bourgeois, black-tie event.

Our students have been working for weeks on songs and dances.  We got a preview of their efforts yesterday when the whole school - first the boys, then the girls - watched the dress rehearsals.  It was festive, colorful, and full of high energy.  Think of the hardest rock songs you've ever heard, add Arabic language, and keep it pumping for two hours.  That's what it sounded like.

Remember, I've mentioned before, the music played at school is on full blast.

Always.

I will miss the biggest celebrations as I'm leaving in a couple of days headed to Jordan for the long weekend.

My new set of luggage arrived and they are packed, standing ready to go.

I've got to get to bed now.

Good night to me.

Good morning to you.

Reading Aloud

Check this out.  From Andrew Sullivan's blog, The Dish.

http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2012/11/the-intimacy-of-reading-aloud-ctd.html

Doesn't it sound like fun?

Scary and Crazy

I like going to the movies.

But, I don't like scary ones.  Why would I pay someone to scare me?

That's nuts.

Speaking of nutty, I don't like movies about crazy folks either.  There have been enough in my world where I've seen crazy up close and personal, so usually, I don't pay to see that.

Today was an exception.

I saw "Silver Lining Playbook."

It just crazy enough where you got the point, but no so crazy that they go off the deep end.

So, it gets my seal of approval.

Which is worthless, but it gets it anyway.

Hope this holiday weekend has been grand.

More soon.

Two New Words

I learned two new words today -

fulcrum - a prop or support

and

harbinger - anyone or anything that foreshadows a future event

Thanks to Dictionary.com

Thankful for Divorce

Let me begin by saying I'm not advocating divorce, but simply sharing how my life has changed, and why it was the best decision I ever made.

As in any relationship, and especially in marriage, there is compromise.

Ying and yang.

Give and take.

Allowances made to keep the peace.

The problem creeps in when the balance is consistently off, and there is way more giving than taking.

When you live your life the way someone else thinks you need to live it, always trying to please the other person, that can lead to problems.

For me, divorce was a breakthrough.  It was the opportunity to discover who I was - the good, bad and the ugly - and to live my life trying to please only one person - me.

When I discovered who I was, I made a conscious decision to like me.  Even the parts of me that I was working on.

I still have a critical eye when it comes to myself, but I see it as the need for personal growth, not as part of a condemnation plot where I need to beat myself up because I'm not measuring up, in someone else's eyes.

So, some of you may be thinking - do I regret getting married in the first place?

Absolutely not.  That journey led to Ben and Frankie, and I'm most proud of them.

I stayed in this marriage as long as I did in large part because of them.  (Hey guys.  Don't trip.  I'd do it again in a heartbeat. ).  I wanted them to have the benefit of having their father in their lives for as long as possible. He was a much better parent than husband.  Of course, he could say the same about me, and would probably be right.

Truth be told, maybe it have had nothing to do with Ben and Frankie.  Maybe it was just me, scared to death to step out on my own, even though, unlike many in my position, I had options because I had a degree, and could find work.

I swore growing up that I wouldn't do what my Mom did, and stay in a toxic relationship.

Never say never.

You do what you feel have to do to make the most of a bad situation.

Then, if you're lucky, you escape and move on.

I was very lucky.

Amarillo, Texas

This city is infamous for several things including the Oprah trial, KKK rallies, and this:

Cadillac Ranch

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2220

My oldest brother lived in Amarillo for years.  When Forrest and I visited him, we saw this.  It is as bizarre in real life, as it looks in these pictures.

Side note - the owner/millionaire has recently been accused of child molestation.  

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/21/us/stanley-marsh-cadillac-ranch-owner-accused-of-sexual-abuse.html?_r=1&

Also in Amarillo - 

The largest (or maybe it's the second largest?) cross in the western hemisphere.

Groom, Texas

It can be seen for miles and miles.

A pretty incredible site, whatever your beliefs.

Be Careful How You Treat Folks

A cautionary tale from hotel employees.

Hint . . . be nice.

From Salon.com

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/21/yes_the_hotel_clerk_hates_you/?source=newsletter

This Is How We Do It

There was a festive mood at school today, as the ex-pats filled the corridors with Happy Thanksgiving greetings.

The race to the parking lot at the end of the day was colorful to watch.  Gratefully, we were all able to leave early.

This was a different week, and the next one is sure to bring surprises, too.  We celebrate the 41st birthday of the UAE, and boy what a party it's sure to be.

Randomly, this past Tuesday was chosen as Parent/Teacher Conference Day.  The report cards won't go out until January, but the conferences were this week. 

Go figure.

Interestingly, for all of you teachers out there that are used to a sacred block of time to get these meetings done, that is not they way we do it here.

In fact, there were no appointed times for individual Moms to visit, they just all showed up in the classrooms, all at the same time, all wanting to hear how their kids were coming along.  Although we tried to have one at a time go in the classroom, and have the others wait in chairs outside the door, that was an exercise in futility.

This is a bum rush culture, through and through.

What is really intriguing is how concerned the Moms were, not just their child, but others as well.  They expected to get a detailed report on how every student in the class was doing, in addition to their own.

The sense of privacy is foreign here.

I noticed this early on when I went to the doctor.  It didn't take much effort to hear the other patients' concerns who were in rooms around me.  If I spoke the language, I'd really have been in the know.

As I've mentioned before, all the parents expect their child(ten) to get A's, whether they do A work or not.  If they don't get these A's, the fault lies with everyone and everything, except the child.

There was an eye-opening statistic in the paper not long ago, that showed that 80% of the students pass the mandated state-wide tests, but only 12% of the graduating seniors are ready for college.

A total disconnect.

The real question that needs to be asked is "why?"

In spite of these issues, or maybe because of them, this remains a mesmerizing place to be.

Side note - all of the ex-pat kids have to attend private schools.  The government schools like mine, only admit local nationals.  We have a handful of students from Oman, the country next door, but I'm not sure why they get a pass to attend.

Side note 2 - Yesterday, I failed to mention my thanks and gratitude for a dear friend who commented on the "Living With A Drunk" post.  She reminded me that, chances are very good, my father was doing the best he could, given the skill set he possessed. There's a lot of truth to that.  And just recognizing that fact, takes the sting out of the memories.

Thanks to all of you who comment, question, and push back on things I've share. That really makes this fun.

As you gather together with family and friends, be safe, have fun, and somebody out there, eat a slice of sweet potato pie for me . . .

Your blogging buddy

Anniversary

Today marks a year I've lived in the UAE.

And . . .

What a year it has been!

Although this blog is great for keeping in touch, it also serves as a log for the many experiences I've had.  

In many ways, it feels like I've been here a lot longer than a year.  Maybe because it took three months on the front end before I was OK'd to leave.  Or it might be because I have covered a lot of ground since arriving.

It is fitting though that this anniversary comes on the eve of Thanksgiving.

So, please allow me to share some of the things I'm thankful for.

I'm grateful for a wonderful, supportive group of guys I call family.  Without their support, this would have been a lot harder to do.

I'm grateful for the amazing women my sons married, and the joy they have brought to them.

I'm grateful for Zadie Faye and her little cousin who is on the way.  What a blessing they are!

I'm grateful for friends who didn't share their doubts with me about this voyage I was undertaking, but instead plowed in and helped me anyway, to get packed and on my way.

I'm grateful for doors that closed, and for the other ones flinging open wide, ushering in new adventures.

I'm grateful that I'm free of sickness, disease and ailments of any kind.

I'm grateful for the opportunities to explore the world around me, making dreams come true.

I'm grateful that on most days I choose to forgive.  And I'm grateful that the days that I struggle with this are getting fewer and fewer.

And . . .

Finally, I'm thankful for you.

I'm so grateful you take the time to read, browse, or simply check in to see that all is well.  Thank you for allowing me to share my experiences with you.  I'm often asked if I miss having someone to share this time with, and I then I tell them about you.  Reminding them, and myself, that I'm never alone.

I have you.

And I'm eternally grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Do Not Buy Samsonite Luggage!

I'm so disappointed in the bags I purchased FOUR MONTHS AGO!  The zipper broke on one of them.  I returned it to the Samsonite store where I purchased it because it was still under warranty.  It was then I was told the zippers were not covered.  I authorized it to be repaired anyway, but it could not be fixed.

I need luggage, so I inquired about purchasing another one to replace it.  I asked about a discount, and was offered 10% off.

Really?  To buy another bag from your company, to replace the one that lasted FOUR MONTHS?

Uh . . . no, thanks.

So, I've washed my hands of them.

Then I went online and ordered another set from my favorite store, Amazon.

Great Advice

Be Yourself.

Quick, powerful message.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOkFfvTGuGk&feature=em-subs_digest

Really?

What we can learn from rappers.

Intriguing.

From Salon.com

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/18/what_can_we_learn_from_freestyle_rappers/?source=newsletter

Insights on Addiction

From Slate.com

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/longform/2012/11/addiction_great_magazine_articles_about_smoking_drinking_and_playing_poker.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

Not a Fan of Gaming, But . . .

Kids who play video games regularly did better than medical students when tested in robotics.  The article comes from the Huffington Post.

Take a look.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/16/video-game-effects-teen-g_n_2147062.html

Another . . . Ted Talk

This talk is from a young poet name Sarah Kay (#8) and is from a list of talks that Ben Affleck appreciates.

The poem she begins with is riveting.  For those of you who know me, you know I'm not usually a fan of poetry because most times I just don't understand it.  This one I get.  I hope you do too.

http://www.ted.com/playlists/32/ben_affleck_8_talks_that_amaz.html

Living With A Drunk

Tomorrow New Year's is celebrated here, so we get the day off.  As a treat, I decided to go to the movies.  I was surprised that Denzel Washington's new movie, "Flight" was showing, so of course, that was my first choice.

I promise not to give anything away if you haven't seen it and plan to, but there are a couple of things about it that caught my attention.

Denzel plays a pilot who does an extraordinary job of landing a plane, and was considered a hero until it was discovered he was high on drugs and alcohol during that fateful flight.

As most of you know, my ex-husband was a commercial pilot, and my father was an alcoholic, so I could relate on several levels.

About three-fourths of the way through the movie though, I got up to leave.  Things were spiraling out of control, and it was like watching a train wreck.  In retrospect, I'm glad I stayed through to the end, but it wasn't easy.

At 56, when I see people drinking, social or otherwise, I'm taken back to that place when I was a kid, when I would stay up with my mom, as we waited for my father to get home.  We knew he would be drunk, we just didn't know how drunk.  Flat out pissy drunk was best because then he would stumble in the house and sleep it off. Of course, not before he vomited all over himself and the house.  It was my job to clean it up while mom wrestled him to bed.  This went on for years and years.  If he had not reached that total level of drunkenness when he walked through the door, he was mean and nasty and horrible to be around.

I was home from college one time, and it was time to return.  We had little money, so I would be returning to Florida the way I came, by Greyhound Bus.  This was one of those times when daddy was pissy drunk.  Mom didn't come to see me off because she was afraid to ride with him this drunk, and she was dependent on him because she couldn't drive.  I was able to drive myself to the bus station, while he rode shotgun. We got there fine and I went inside to wait, when I looked up, he's standing in the doorway with his pants around his ankles.

Embarrassment dosen't begin to describe that scene.

It's memories like these that I carry with me.

So, watching this movie was tough.  It took me back to a place I never what to be.

As proud as I am of Ben and Frankie, it broke my heart to see them drinking.  In the real scheme of things, this may seem small, but because of my experiences, this was huge.  I felt like I failed them because clearly I hadn't done enough to convey the dangers of alcohol to themselves and others.  Even though they knew my experiences well, it wasn't enough to deter them.

Are my guys lushes?  No, thank God, but in my mind, drinking one drop of liquor is one too many.

As I've said many times before, the way we're raised impacts everything about us - good or bad.


At 56, my memories of living with a drunk are still very fresh, even though we're talking of my earliest memories, beginning more than 50 years ago.


Although many of the people in my world drink, I will never be one of them.  I can thank my father for that.

Last One

I know you are probably completely fed up with the presidential election and all that that entailed, but below is a link to a fascinating article, again in the New York Times, that tells how the Obama campaign used psychologists and others in the social sciences to win this election.

This makes their services quite intriguing.  I should have paid more attention to them when I was in college.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/13/health/dream-team-of-behavioral-scientists-advised-obama-campaign.html?src=me&ref=general

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Below is the link for a great New York Times article on listening.

Very interesting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/11/opinion/sunday/why-listening-is-so-much-more-than-hearing.html?src=me&ref=general

Marriage Advice

Not from me!

Sounds like this lady was much better at it than me.

I liked 7 and 9.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/25-years-of-marriage_b_2101331.html?utm_hp_ref=fifty