Getting Here

Just some thoughts about what I experienced getting to Jordan.

Normally, I fly out of Dubai, and occasionally out of Abu Dhabi, but this flight departed from the city/state of Sharjah.

What was fascinating to see as we drove through this city, was the complete lack of glitz. In fact, by comparison to Abu Dhabi and Dubai, it was almost run down.

I've described Dubai as the flashy sister, and Abu Dhabi as the protective big brother.  The black sheep of the family comes to mind when I think about Sharjah. The ruler here must have missed the memo about the oil income.  The airport, although international, looked like a small rundown regional airport in the US.

Forrest made an interesting comment about this.  He said that it could be that the ruler/people in Sharjah have made a conscious effort to keep things the same, without going over to the "dark side" of commercialism.

Side note:  Black sheep.  The dark side.  Devil's food cake.  Black Widow.  Notice how many references infer that being black is bad?

The flight over was on Air Arabia.  This was the first time I'd flown with this airline. What was really cute was the safety video.  It featured kids in all of the roles - pilot, flight attendants and passengers.  When they talked about floor lighting in the event of an emergency, a kid crawled on the floor to show you.  When they referred to your safety vest being under your seat, there was a kid poking his head out from that very spot.

Really, really cute.

Observations about Jordan -

The landscape is different from other places in the Middle East.  The miles and miles of sand is rocky, giving it a speckled appearance.

When we were in Petra yesterday, we were less than 20 miles from the Gaza Strip.

Although there is conflict all around, the Jordanians live in peace.  I asked about the influx of Syrian refugees, and how the people felt about that, and the response was, "We welcome them."  Everyone is welcome here, no matter the circumstances that brought them.

English is spoken by most, as it is the official language after Arabic.  All of the road signs and business names are in both languages, like in the UAE.  That is most helpful.

Side note 2 - There were about a dozen tourist busses visiting Petra.  As we were leaving, a bus load of black folks arrived.  I chatted briefly with one lady when I asked if they were from the US.  They were.  I'm guessing they may have been a church group, as this area has so many religious connotations.

Side note 3 - Forrest gave me a crash course in putting my pictures in iPhoto on my Macbook laptop.  What a treat that was!  It was like seeing them for the first time because I only post a select few.  I'd forgotten about many of the others.

Today is a full day of sightseeing.  Tomorrow I return home, with a day of rest before returning to work.

Good night to you.

Good morning to me.

Genuine Jordanians

I've been blessed to meet some great people in my travels, but the Jordanians have proven to be the warmest, kindest, and friendliest of all.

When we landed, I searched for someone holding up a sign with my name.  No luck. There was a guy holding a sign facing himself, that I couldn't read it.  When I inquired, still no luck, but he asked to see my paperwork, made some calls, and helped me to get a cab, and told me how much I could expect it to cost.  I offered to pay him for his help, but he simply said, "Welcome to our country."

It was almost midnight.

The cab driver asked if I had a prearranged tour guide.  I did not.  So we arranged for him to be my guide for the next two days.

Today we drove south to the city of Petra, famous for its mountains, and the amazing architecture cut into the mountains.

This is an incredible sight of the city below.
The picture doesn't do it justice.

Look at the sky.  It was a perfect day.

You have to believe in God when you see this.
Amazing!

This is carved into the mountain.
Incredible!

Thank God for Internet service, but uploading the pictures is taking a while.  I'll upload more when I get home.

More soon.

Celebrations

National Day, coming up on December 2nd, commemorates the 41st birthday of the UAE with a country-wide party that will go on for days.

Everybody and everything is wrapped in the flag colors of red, black, green and white.  T-shirts, hats, pins, dresses, scarves, jewelry, boas, and everything else you can imagine that can be worn as a show of pride, is being worn and on full display for the world to see.

This is at the assembly yesterday.
It's a sea of dark-haired girls.

Buildings and homes all over the city have huge flags tied to their sides for maximum visibility.

The palm trees that line so many of the medians, have colored lights on their trunks. You guessed it - they are either red, green or white.

You know the Puerto Rican Parade in New York City and how flamboyant it can be? These celebrations make that look like a bourgeois, black-tie event.

Our students have been working for weeks on songs and dances.  We got a preview of their efforts yesterday when the whole school - first the boys, then the girls - watched the dress rehearsals.  It was festive, colorful, and full of high energy.  Think of the hardest rock songs you've ever heard, add Arabic language, and keep it pumping for two hours.  That's what it sounded like.

Remember, I've mentioned before, the music played at school is on full blast.

Always.

I will miss the biggest celebrations as I'm leaving in a couple of days headed to Jordan for the long weekend.

My new set of luggage arrived and they are packed, standing ready to go.

I've got to get to bed now.

Good night to me.

Good morning to you.

Reading Aloud

Check this out.  From Andrew Sullivan's blog, The Dish.

http://andrewsullivan.thedailybeast.com/2012/11/the-intimacy-of-reading-aloud-ctd.html

Doesn't it sound like fun?

Scary and Crazy

I like going to the movies.

But, I don't like scary ones.  Why would I pay someone to scare me?

That's nuts.

Speaking of nutty, I don't like movies about crazy folks either.  There have been enough in my world where I've seen crazy up close and personal, so usually, I don't pay to see that.

Today was an exception.

I saw "Silver Lining Playbook."

It just crazy enough where you got the point, but no so crazy that they go off the deep end.

So, it gets my seal of approval.

Which is worthless, but it gets it anyway.

Hope this holiday weekend has been grand.

More soon.

Two New Words

I learned two new words today -

fulcrum - a prop or support

and

harbinger - anyone or anything that foreshadows a future event

Thanks to Dictionary.com

Thankful for Divorce

Let me begin by saying I'm not advocating divorce, but simply sharing how my life has changed, and why it was the best decision I ever made.

As in any relationship, and especially in marriage, there is compromise.

Ying and yang.

Give and take.

Allowances made to keep the peace.

The problem creeps in when the balance is consistently off, and there is way more giving than taking.

When you live your life the way someone else thinks you need to live it, always trying to please the other person, that can lead to problems.

For me, divorce was a breakthrough.  It was the opportunity to discover who I was - the good, bad and the ugly - and to live my life trying to please only one person - me.

When I discovered who I was, I made a conscious decision to like me.  Even the parts of me that I was working on.

I still have a critical eye when it comes to myself, but I see it as the need for personal growth, not as part of a condemnation plot where I need to beat myself up because I'm not measuring up, in someone else's eyes.

So, some of you may be thinking - do I regret getting married in the first place?

Absolutely not.  That journey led to Ben and Frankie, and I'm most proud of them.

I stayed in this marriage as long as I did in large part because of them.  (Hey guys.  Don't trip.  I'd do it again in a heartbeat. ).  I wanted them to have the benefit of having their father in their lives for as long as possible. He was a much better parent than husband.  Of course, he could say the same about me, and would probably be right.

Truth be told, maybe it have had nothing to do with Ben and Frankie.  Maybe it was just me, scared to death to step out on my own, even though, unlike many in my position, I had options because I had a degree, and could find work.

I swore growing up that I wouldn't do what my Mom did, and stay in a toxic relationship.

Never say never.

You do what you feel have to do to make the most of a bad situation.

Then, if you're lucky, you escape and move on.

I was very lucky.

Amarillo, Texas

This city is infamous for several things including the Oprah trial, KKK rallies, and this:

Cadillac Ranch

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2220

My oldest brother lived in Amarillo for years.  When Forrest and I visited him, we saw this.  It is as bizarre in real life, as it looks in these pictures.

Side note - the owner/millionaire has recently been accused of child molestation.  

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/21/us/stanley-marsh-cadillac-ranch-owner-accused-of-sexual-abuse.html?_r=1&

Also in Amarillo - 

The largest (or maybe it's the second largest?) cross in the western hemisphere.

Groom, Texas

It can be seen for miles and miles.

A pretty incredible site, whatever your beliefs.

Be Careful How You Treat Folks

A cautionary tale from hotel employees.

Hint . . . be nice.

From Salon.com

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/21/yes_the_hotel_clerk_hates_you/?source=newsletter

This Is How We Do It

There was a festive mood at school today, as the ex-pats filled the corridors with Happy Thanksgiving greetings.

The race to the parking lot at the end of the day was colorful to watch.  Gratefully, we were all able to leave early.

This was a different week, and the next one is sure to bring surprises, too.  We celebrate the 41st birthday of the UAE, and boy what a party it's sure to be.

Randomly, this past Tuesday was chosen as Parent/Teacher Conference Day.  The report cards won't go out until January, but the conferences were this week. 

Go figure.

Interestingly, for all of you teachers out there that are used to a sacred block of time to get these meetings done, that is not they way we do it here.

In fact, there were no appointed times for individual Moms to visit, they just all showed up in the classrooms, all at the same time, all wanting to hear how their kids were coming along.  Although we tried to have one at a time go in the classroom, and have the others wait in chairs outside the door, that was an exercise in futility.

This is a bum rush culture, through and through.

What is really intriguing is how concerned the Moms were, not just their child, but others as well.  They expected to get a detailed report on how every student in the class was doing, in addition to their own.

The sense of privacy is foreign here.

I noticed this early on when I went to the doctor.  It didn't take much effort to hear the other patients' concerns who were in rooms around me.  If I spoke the language, I'd really have been in the know.

As I've mentioned before, all the parents expect their child(ten) to get A's, whether they do A work or not.  If they don't get these A's, the fault lies with everyone and everything, except the child.

There was an eye-opening statistic in the paper not long ago, that showed that 80% of the students pass the mandated state-wide tests, but only 12% of the graduating seniors are ready for college.

A total disconnect.

The real question that needs to be asked is "why?"

In spite of these issues, or maybe because of them, this remains a mesmerizing place to be.

Side note - all of the ex-pat kids have to attend private schools.  The government schools like mine, only admit local nationals.  We have a handful of students from Oman, the country next door, but I'm not sure why they get a pass to attend.

Side note 2 - Yesterday, I failed to mention my thanks and gratitude for a dear friend who commented on the "Living With A Drunk" post.  She reminded me that, chances are very good, my father was doing the best he could, given the skill set he possessed. There's a lot of truth to that.  And just recognizing that fact, takes the sting out of the memories.

Thanks to all of you who comment, question, and push back on things I've share. That really makes this fun.

As you gather together with family and friends, be safe, have fun, and somebody out there, eat a slice of sweet potato pie for me . . .

Your blogging buddy

Anniversary

Today marks a year I've lived in the UAE.

And . . .

What a year it has been!

Although this blog is great for keeping in touch, it also serves as a log for the many experiences I've had.  

In many ways, it feels like I've been here a lot longer than a year.  Maybe because it took three months on the front end before I was OK'd to leave.  Or it might be because I have covered a lot of ground since arriving.

It is fitting though that this anniversary comes on the eve of Thanksgiving.

So, please allow me to share some of the things I'm thankful for.

I'm grateful for a wonderful, supportive group of guys I call family.  Without their support, this would have been a lot harder to do.

I'm grateful for the amazing women my sons married, and the joy they have brought to them.

I'm grateful for Zadie Faye and her little cousin who is on the way.  What a blessing they are!

I'm grateful for friends who didn't share their doubts with me about this voyage I was undertaking, but instead plowed in and helped me anyway, to get packed and on my way.

I'm grateful for doors that closed, and for the other ones flinging open wide, ushering in new adventures.

I'm grateful that I'm free of sickness, disease and ailments of any kind.

I'm grateful for the opportunities to explore the world around me, making dreams come true.

I'm grateful that on most days I choose to forgive.  And I'm grateful that the days that I struggle with this are getting fewer and fewer.

And . . .

Finally, I'm thankful for you.

I'm so grateful you take the time to read, browse, or simply check in to see that all is well.  Thank you for allowing me to share my experiences with you.  I'm often asked if I miss having someone to share this time with, and I then I tell them about you.  Reminding them, and myself, that I'm never alone.

I have you.

And I'm eternally grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Do Not Buy Samsonite Luggage!

I'm so disappointed in the bags I purchased FOUR MONTHS AGO!  The zipper broke on one of them.  I returned it to the Samsonite store where I purchased it because it was still under warranty.  It was then I was told the zippers were not covered.  I authorized it to be repaired anyway, but it could not be fixed.

I need luggage, so I inquired about purchasing another one to replace it.  I asked about a discount, and was offered 10% off.

Really?  To buy another bag from your company, to replace the one that lasted FOUR MONTHS?

Uh . . . no, thanks.

So, I've washed my hands of them.

Then I went online and ordered another set from my favorite store, Amazon.

Great Advice

Be Yourself.

Quick, powerful message.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BOkFfvTGuGk&feature=em-subs_digest

Really?

What we can learn from rappers.

Intriguing.

From Salon.com

http://www.salon.com/2012/11/18/what_can_we_learn_from_freestyle_rappers/?source=newsletter

Insights on Addiction

From Slate.com

http://www.slate.com/articles/health_and_science/longform/2012/11/addiction_great_magazine_articles_about_smoking_drinking_and_playing_poker.html?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=pulsenews

Not a Fan of Gaming, But . . .

Kids who play video games regularly did better than medical students when tested in robotics.  The article comes from the Huffington Post.

Take a look.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/11/16/video-game-effects-teen-g_n_2147062.html

Another . . . Ted Talk

This talk is from a young poet name Sarah Kay (#8) and is from a list of talks that Ben Affleck appreciates.

The poem she begins with is riveting.  For those of you who know me, you know I'm not usually a fan of poetry because most times I just don't understand it.  This one I get.  I hope you do too.

http://www.ted.com/playlists/32/ben_affleck_8_talks_that_amaz.html

Living With A Drunk

Tomorrow New Year's is celebrated here, so we get the day off.  As a treat, I decided to go to the movies.  I was surprised that Denzel Washington's new movie, "Flight" was showing, so of course, that was my first choice.

I promise not to give anything away if you haven't seen it and plan to, but there are a couple of things about it that caught my attention.

Denzel plays a pilot who does an extraordinary job of landing a plane, and was considered a hero until it was discovered he was high on drugs and alcohol during that fateful flight.

As most of you know, my ex-husband was a commercial pilot, and my father was an alcoholic, so I could relate on several levels.

About three-fourths of the way through the movie though, I got up to leave.  Things were spiraling out of control, and it was like watching a train wreck.  In retrospect, I'm glad I stayed through to the end, but it wasn't easy.

At 56, when I see people drinking, social or otherwise, I'm taken back to that place when I was a kid, when I would stay up with my mom, as we waited for my father to get home.  We knew he would be drunk, we just didn't know how drunk.  Flat out pissy drunk was best because then he would stumble in the house and sleep it off. Of course, not before he vomited all over himself and the house.  It was my job to clean it up while mom wrestled him to bed.  This went on for years and years.  If he had not reached that total level of drunkenness when he walked through the door, he was mean and nasty and horrible to be around.

I was home from college one time, and it was time to return.  We had little money, so I would be returning to Florida the way I came, by Greyhound Bus.  This was one of those times when daddy was pissy drunk.  Mom didn't come to see me off because she was afraid to ride with him this drunk, and she was dependent on him because she couldn't drive.  I was able to drive myself to the bus station, while he rode shotgun. We got there fine and I went inside to wait, when I looked up, he's standing in the doorway with his pants around his ankles.

Embarrassment dosen't begin to describe that scene.

It's memories like these that I carry with me.

So, watching this movie was tough.  It took me back to a place I never what to be.

As proud as I am of Ben and Frankie, it broke my heart to see them drinking.  In the real scheme of things, this may seem small, but because of my experiences, this was huge.  I felt like I failed them because clearly I hadn't done enough to convey the dangers of alcohol to themselves and others.  Even though they knew my experiences well, it wasn't enough to deter them.

Are my guys lushes?  No, thank God, but in my mind, drinking one drop of liquor is one too many.

As I've said many times before, the way we're raised impacts everything about us - good or bad.


At 56, my memories of living with a drunk are still very fresh, even though we're talking of my earliest memories, beginning more than 50 years ago.


Although many of the people in my world drink, I will never be one of them.  I can thank my father for that.

Last One

I know you are probably completely fed up with the presidential election and all that that entailed, but below is a link to a fascinating article, again in the New York Times, that tells how the Obama campaign used psychologists and others in the social sciences to win this election.

This makes their services quite intriguing.  I should have paid more attention to them when I was in college.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/13/health/dream-team-of-behavioral-scientists-advised-obama-campaign.html?src=me&ref=general

Do You Hear What I Hear?

Below is the link for a great New York Times article on listening.

Very interesting.

http://www.nytimes.com/2012/11/11/opinion/sunday/why-listening-is-so-much-more-than-hearing.html?src=me&ref=general

Marriage Advice

Not from me!

Sounds like this lady was much better at it than me.

I liked 7 and 9.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/lisa-belkin/25-years-of-marriage_b_2101331.html?utm_hp_ref=fifty

Time is Precious

Have you ever been in a three hour meeting, with an agenda, that produced no results?

None?

Absolutely none?

Have you ever been in a meeting where there was really just one thing that needed to be decided, and three hours later, you walked out without that information?

Time is Precious.

Yours.

Mine.

Ours.

We should strive to use it wisely.

Sure, they'll be goof off days.  We all need those every now and then.

But, seriously, I know I'm preaching to the choir when I say, time wasted is time lost.

One of my illustrious leaders was chronically late to meetings.  After getting upset about it, we decided to place bets on what time we thought he would arrive.  The bets were 50 cents, and the biggest haul was $4.50.

Was it wrong to place a bet?

Maybe, but it sure made the wait time much easier to deal with.

What's really important here is how little regard this man had for our time.  His was the only one that mattered.

I believe we need to honor people's time.

I had a policy -

Meetings started on time and ended on time.

No meeting was held if there wasn't anything new to share.

If you were late or missed a meeting, you were responsible for the content.

There was purpose.

There was an agenda

And

We followed it.

If action were needed, it happened.

I'd like to think the meetings, and the way they were executed, were valuable for everyone.  They were definitely valuable to me.

That just it - leader sets the tone.

Sometime that tone is succinct.

Other times, it's long-winded, convoluted, and tortuous.

Nighttime & Good Music

A city looks very different at night.

I rarely enjoy the distinction because my goal is always to be home before sunset.

A couple of days ago, I ran an errand after dark.

Unimpressive store fronts, in seedy neighborhoods, came alive in the glow of the bright lights.  They were suddenly inviting and charming.

Funny, how that is.

Side note -

I was just sharing with a friend today, that I have heard rhythm and blues music every place I've visited.  It's a universal language all its own.

Speaking of music -

I just downloaded Jason Gould's album.  He's Barbra Streisand's son.  I don't know why, but I was surprised at how wonderful his voice is.  He has great genes and destiny on his side.

I was also introduced to John Boutte, a vocalist from New Orleans.  For those of you who are familiar with "Treme" on HBO, he sings the theme song.  His album entitled "Jambalaya" is a keeper.

If you're 35 or younger, you're probably rolling your eyes at these musical mentions. But I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that you've heard some music from some youngsters (younger than you) that you think is less than brilliant.  This is a cycle that just keeps repeating itself.  The older we get, the more pronounced it is.

Side note 2 -

For those of you who have friends and relatives scattered about, let me encourage you to try Google Video Chat.  It's an awesome way to keep in touch.

They should pay me for this.

Side note 3 -

Now that the time has changed in the US, we're back to it being a 12-hour difference in time between here and the West Coast.

So, it's almost bedtime for me, but a brand new day for you.

Make the most of it.



  

Headlines the Day After

The US Presidential Elections made the headlines here.  Below is the article.

http://www.thenational.ae/news/world/middle-east/middle-east-and-north-africa-hopeful-at-obamas-re-election?utm_source=Newsletter&utm_medium=Email&utm_campaign=Daily%2BNewsletter%2B08-11-2012

Great Quote

From David Simon, as seen on Andrew Sullivan's blog, The Dish.

This election marks a moment in which the racial and social hierarchy of America is upended forever. No longer will it mean more politically to be a white male than to be anything else.

Evolve, or don’t.

Swallow your resentments, or don’t.

But the votes are going to be counted, more of them with each election. Arizona will soon be in play. And in a few cycles, even Texas.

And those wishing to hold national office in these United States will find it increasingly useless to argue for normal, to attempt to play one minority against each other, to turn pluralities against the feared “other” of gays, or blacks, or immigrants, or, incredibly in this election cycle, our very wives and lovers and daughters, fellow citizens who demand to control their own bodies.

Books

I've always loved to read.

As I've shared before, my father was illiterate and my mother only went to the third grade, but they both valued education, and my brothers and I benefited greatly from that mindset.

We lived in a really rural area - China, Texas, population 1100, then and now - and depended heavily on the postal service for things that we needed because Momma couldn't drive.

Somehow, she was turned on to Readers' Digest, and order magazines and books from them, religiously.  This she did for me.  Mom knew that reading was the escape I needed from the loneliness of life in China.

It thrills me to no end that both Ben and Frankie are avid readers.  They weren't growing up, so seeing them devouring books now, and hearing them discussing recent reads, warms my heart.

There is a statewide initiative to promote reading here.  This is interesting because - I'm about to paint with a broad brush, which I should never do, but . . . , this is not a particularly literate country.  Remember, it's a young country, only 41 years old, as of December 2nd, and I think that is part of the issue.

So, we're trying to impress upon the kids that reading is important, but they rarely see adults reading, for pleasure or for information.

Libraries are non-existent.

It's rare to see any locals reading the paper or magazines, at Starbucks or other coffee shops.

So, how do get a nation to read?

One book at a time, I suppose.

Anyway, I was thinking about this as I was reading the following article on why we take books on vacation.

I enjoyed it.  I hope you do, too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/andrew-losowsky/why-do-we-always-take-books-vacation_b_2089999.html#slide=1620672

Four Years Ago

Election night four years ago was extraordinary on so many levels.

Tonight, it's no less exhilarating, but in different ways.

When I left for work this morning, the polls were just closing, and it wasn't looking good for President Obama.  Thank God for alerts keeping us in the loop throughout the morning.  Those of us here from the US were waiting with great anticipation for the final word.  When it came, there were quiet moments of rejoicing.

Interestingly, the election made headline news again, but the wave of anticipation, so palatable in America, was not present in our world at school.

Was I silly to expect it?

Probably.

Although I'm grateful to have missed the bombardment of ads that flooded the airways, I am missing the excitement of this win that I know is real in many corners of the US.

Here's hoping that the members of Congress, who have been stuck on stupid/no for the past four years, will wake up and realize we want them to work for our interests, not theirs.

Here's hoping the next four years will be the best four years . . . ever.

Appreciating Our Uniqueness

This is an interesting article about raising kids who are different from what we would consider the norm.  It was found in New York Times today.

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/11/05/embracing-children-for-who-they-are/?src=me&ref=general

Decisions. Decisions.

It's 8:30 at night here on election night, but the polls are just opening in the US.

It will be morning before we have the results.

Here's hoping for the best, whoever your choice may be.

Here's the Link

I forgot to include the link on the previous post.  Here it is -

http://www.ted.com/talks/brian_goldman_doctors_make_mistakes_can_we_talk_about_that.html

Another TEDxTalk - Medical Mistakes

I appreciate this doctor's honesty and openness. 

Cost of a Camel

The question of how much a camel cost has come up several times.  I'm not sure what the typical cost is, but there have been some hefty prices paid in the past.

Check out the article below.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8496766.stm