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Wednesday, May 20, 2015

I Love This Guy, Part 2

From Slate's Gentleman Scholar: Answers For Modern Men -

What do you do if you have a lady friend whom you've been seeing for a while and all the female friends you introduce her to are women you've slept with? I mean, this is going back 10 years: Some of them are married now; some are close friends.
Thank you for your question.
The duty is to show respect to all women involved. The challenge is to speak to your current lady friend with due candor without saying anything that would embarrass an ex. The thing is to be nonchalant.
There are two levels to this situation, right? The first involves the plain, yes-or-no disclosure that your friend was once a lover. There’s no need to bring it up, and there’s no need to respond to a gentle inquiry in that direction with anything more elaborate than, “Oh, we used to date.” No problem, unless your lady friend is the jealous type—and I somehow get the sense that’s not the type you go for
The second level here involves the revelation of emotional and sexual intimacies. Here’s the general principle: If your current lady friend fails to heed the internationally-recognized Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy on exes, then you should invoke the Gentleman Scholar’s Don't Kiss and Tell Shield Law of 2015. It’s a variation on the Golden Rule: Do not tell unto a lady what other ladies have done unto you.
http://www.slate.com/articles/life/gentleman_scholar/2015/01/advice_for_modern_men_talking_about_exes_keeping_greeting_cards_rejecting.html

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