If Mom were alive, she'd be 93 years old on June 15th. She died in 1998, a week shy of her 79th birthday.
Her name was Rhilda Beverly. I am named after her, but I have a middle name and use Faye because Rhilda has proven hard for people to pronounce and remember.
As I've mentioned before, Mom had very little formal education, but she had a PhD in common sense. She only went to the 3rd grade in school, before she was pulled out to help work around the house.
I didn't fully appreciate her or her wisdom until I had kids of my own. Then, I realized she was brilliant.
I find myself thinking about her and quoting her daily.
She used to say -
Choose your friends wisely.
Tell me who you follow, and I'll tell you who you are.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Where there's smoke, there's fire.
Having money doesn't mean you have class.
Being pretty will open doors; having sense will keep them open.
You can overdo anything (she liked saying this in reference to make-up and jewelry).
Be a child as long as you can and grow up when you can't help yourself.
The jailhouse is full of folks who were too cute to be disciplined when they were growing up.
If you don't discipline your kids, the police will, and you'll wish you had.
There's nothing cute about bad behaved kids.
If you don't discipline him at two, he'll be beating on you at 12 (referring to Ben who had a nasty habit of hitting and biting at two years old).
Always speak to folks, even if they don't respond. You do your part, and let them worry about themselves.
The same God who took care of her here, will take care of her wherever she goes (when questioned about letting me go away to college; unheard of at that time and place).
If you stay on the right path, God will send someone to help you every step of the way.
Keep saying "good morning" (she would say when she talked about something that we couldn't fully understand yet).
As black folks, remember you have to be twice as good to go half as far.
Don't blow your own horn. Let other people do that. (I think this is why interviewing has always been tough for me).
Help others, while always remembering the people who helped you along the way.
Always be there for each other (a reminder to my brothers and I).
No matter how bad you think you have it, there's somebody, somewhere who has it worse off than you.
It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt (one of her favorite quotes found on a plaque hanging in her restroom).
When you choose to do what's right, everything else will work itself out.
Respect yourself and others will respect you.
Always remember where you come from.
It is this last one that keeps me grounded. No matter what happens or where I end up, I will always proudly be Rhilda Beverly's daughter - the country girl from China, Texas.
Her name was Rhilda Beverly. I am named after her, but I have a middle name and use Faye because Rhilda has proven hard for people to pronounce and remember.
As I've mentioned before, Mom had very little formal education, but she had a PhD in common sense. She only went to the 3rd grade in school, before she was pulled out to help work around the house.
I didn't fully appreciate her or her wisdom until I had kids of my own. Then, I realized she was brilliant.
I find myself thinking about her and quoting her daily.
She used to say -
Choose your friends wisely.
Tell me who you follow, and I'll tell you who you are.
Birds of a feather flock together.
Where there's smoke, there's fire.
Having money doesn't mean you have class.
Being pretty will open doors; having sense will keep them open.
You can overdo anything (she liked saying this in reference to make-up and jewelry).
Be a child as long as you can and grow up when you can't help yourself.
The jailhouse is full of folks who were too cute to be disciplined when they were growing up.
If you don't discipline your kids, the police will, and you'll wish you had.
There's nothing cute about bad behaved kids.
If you don't discipline him at two, he'll be beating on you at 12 (referring to Ben who had a nasty habit of hitting and biting at two years old).
Always speak to folks, even if they don't respond. You do your part, and let them worry about themselves.
The same God who took care of her here, will take care of her wherever she goes (when questioned about letting me go away to college; unheard of at that time and place).
If you stay on the right path, God will send someone to help you every step of the way.
Keep saying "good morning" (she would say when she talked about something that we couldn't fully understand yet).
As black folks, remember you have to be twice as good to go half as far.
Don't blow your own horn. Let other people do that. (I think this is why interviewing has always been tough for me).
Help others, while always remembering the people who helped you along the way.
Always be there for each other (a reminder to my brothers and I).
No matter how bad you think you have it, there's somebody, somewhere who has it worse off than you.
It is better to remain silent and thought a fool, than to speak up and remove all doubt (one of her favorite quotes found on a plaque hanging in her restroom).
When you choose to do what's right, everything else will work itself out.
Respect yourself and others will respect you.
Always remember where you come from.
It is this last one that keeps me grounded. No matter what happens or where I end up, I will always proudly be Rhilda Beverly's daughter - the country girl from China, Texas.
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