MARIA SHARAPOVA MUST’VE HAD SOME SHITTY DRUGS IF THEY MADE HER LOSE TO SERENA 18 STRAIGHT TIMES
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Now, I’m not sure what meldonium is or what it does, but I do know that performance enhancing drugs are called performance enhancing drugs because they are drugs that presumably enhance performance. I also know that Maria Sharapova, the world’s highest paid tennis player, has lost 18 consecutive times to Serena Williams. The most recent being Jan 26th, the day she was drug tested. Which makes me wonder which performance these drugs were enhancing. Did her hair get more blonde? Did she get better at typing? Did her guacamole improve? Is she doing a better job responding to emails and text messages in a timely manner? Can she drink a whole Hennessy fifth? (Some call that a problem, but I consider it a gift.) Did she receive an especially cruel version of the same powers as Bradley Cooper in Limitless, with tennis courts being her only kryptonite? Can she Wobble without forgetting her steps? Or learn how to summarize shows to friends without spoiling them? (An underrated great quality to have.) Did she become a crocheting maven? Like, the best motherfucking crocheter in the history of crocheting? Can this chick loop the shit out of some yarn now?
http://verysmartbrothas.com/maria-sharapova-mustve-had-some-shitty-drugs-if-they-made-her-lose-to-serena-18-straight-times/
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