Paris, je t'aime

I'm spending my last day in this beautiful city.

It's overcast, with a steady drizzle, that quite frankly kept me inside yesterday, but today I weathered the elements to see some more of all there is to see.

I toured the Latin Quarter, which is home of the Sorbonne, The University of Paris, and a lively art and music district that dates back centuries.

The Sorbonne
I downloaded this picture because mine was fuzzy.

This area did not appear to be as well traveled by tourists, but seemed to be mostly occupied by Parisians.

I've had a wonderful time here, but this is city that must be shared.

Thanks for letting me share it with you.

A flower shop.  There was at least one on every block.
The floral scents were heavenly.

A fruit market.  These were plentiful, too.

A church.  I walked into one, close to my hotel,
that was referential.  Somehow it projected holiness
in its physical being.  I didn't take pictures.
It just didn't seem right.

An intersection in the Latin Quarter

I was surprised at the number of bookstores around.
Not the big megastores, but these were neighborhood stores.

This storefront is called the Galactic Store.
I'm not into these action figures, but the way there're displayed,
it looks like they're ready from battle.  Really cute.

Au revoir Paris

How to Fold a T-Shirt

Too cool not to share.

http://www.howcast.com/videos/241348-How-to-Fold-a-TShirt-in-Two-Seconds

Lessons From Football

Football.

It's silly, dangerous, and can make a lifetime impact . . . sometimes good, many times horribly bad.

In spite of these contradictions, there are lessons to be learned, as noted from a woman who loves the game.

http://www.marieclaire.com/career-money/jan-crawford-cbs-career-advice-college-football?click=list4

Bon Appetit!

The food here is amazing!

Even the junk food, sold on the sidewalks, is incredible.

The crepes!  The waffles!  The hot chocolate!

In fact, the hot chocolate tastes like melted chocolate.

So smooth.  So rich.

And . . .

The bread.

The smell of fresh bread is everywhere!

I've spent the last couple of days very leisurely enjoying the sights and sounds of this magnificent city.  Like Prague, this is a walking city.  I've seen a few taxis and buses, but it looks like many folks walk to their destinations.  There is a subway system I haven't explored, that I'm guessing is pretty active underground.

Although this is a large city by any measure, it feels quaint and inviting.

The French have a reputation for being rude, but that has not been my experience at all.  People have gone out of their to be nice and accommodating.

This is also a city that represents a wide cross section of people.  They're whites, blacks, Asians, Indians, and everything in between.  The blacks I've met are from French speaking African nations.  The funniest thing was seeing Southeast Asian women - Vietnamese, maybe - speaking fluent French.  It confuses your eyes and ears for a minute.

Side note - It's cold, for real now.  I would not be surprised to see snow.

Side note 2 - The days are very short.  The sun rises at about 9:00 am, and the sun starts to set at about 4:00pm.

This is a place where you quickly feel at home.

The Eiffel Tower peaking through the trees.

This is at the Notre Dame.
What I described in an earlier post as the back of the building
 was really the entrance.
There was a sign stating that.  Not sure how I missed it.

These are lovers' lock.
There are thousands of them attached to a fence 

This bridge is over the Seine River, next to the Notre Dame.

A view of the Notre Dame from the bridge.

Many of the streets are really narrow.
This one is especially so.

Many of the trees are trimmed in this fashion. 

A gallant warrior

Until next time.

Au revoir.

C'est Excellent!

Wow!

What a city!

I'm staying in a quaint hotel, less than a mile from the Notre Dame.  By US standards, it's tiny, but it has everything I need.

My plan was to get a panoramic view of the city via the Big Bus Tour.  So, with clear directions from the hotel folks, and Google Maps on my phone, I was ready to find the bus stop I needed.

Side note -

It's cold.

Not bone chilling sub zero cold, but cold nonetheless.

Side note 2 -

I was here about twenty years ago when the boys and I accompanied Frank on one of his layovers in the city.  It was a real quick visit.

After waiting a while for the bus, I discovered I was waiting at a "retired" bus stop.  A friendly merchant pointed me in the right direction, and after a few minutes more, I was on the bus, seeing the city.

Notre Dame

This entryway at the back of the Notre Dame is so incredibly ornate.

A close-up of the entryway.

 Across the street from the Notre Dame is an automatic public toilet.  You press a button and the door rolls open, you step in, and it closes.  It's fairly big, but very spartan, just a toilet and sink.  After you complete your business, you push a button, the door opens.  Once you get out, the door closes and it self-cleans before the next person enters.  There was no cost to use it and it really was pretty cool.

Once on the bus, I opted to sit on top in the open air, to get better pictures.  Well, the pictures I took were a real disappointment.  I was cold, fiddling with my gloves, and fighting to keep a cute cap on my head.  Why is it "cute" is rarely practical?

Anyway, the best of the lot is below.

The Seine River that runs through the city.

Avenue Des Champs Elysees -
 Shoppers' Paradise, with retail shopping along both sides of the boulevard.
The Arc De Triomphe is in the distance.

Arc De Triomphe - Can be reached via tunnels to get a close up view.
You can also go to the top.  The view of the city must be spectacular from there.

Eiffel Tower

The Eiffel Tower up close

More soon.

Au revoir.

Bonjour!

Later today I'm headed to Paris.

I'm reminded often of my parents' ability to speak Creole French, but it was looked down upon, so they choose not to teach us.  And of course, I didn't push it because I couldn't see the benefit.

I was so young and dumb, about so many things.

Anyway, I love the French language.  No matter what is being said, it has such a lovely, warm, romantic sound to it.

So, for a few days, I'm immersing myself in all things French.

More soon from the City of Lights.

Festive Cheer

Kids lip-synching a Christmas song.  Hilarious, although some of the choir members don't seem amused.   Check it out below.

http://www.flixxy.com/kids-lip-syncing-a-wonderful-christmas-song.htm

Now that you're in a festive mood, check out this article about ex-0ffenders starting over.  Send your Boston family and friends over to this place.  This is the kind of venture we all need to support.

http://www.theroot.com/articles/culture/2013/12/ex_offenders_learn_restaurant_biz_at_boston_s_whisk.2.html

My Guys With Their Girls

Frankie and Ben and their families were together recently.  Their girls met for the first time.   Zadie just turned three years old and Milu has her first birthday later this month.

Check out the fun below.

https://www.dropbox.com/sh/e31mwxj2gfk52kk/IDgZ3EnpP6#lh:null-IMG_0844.MOV

A Powerful Message

This article is in today's New York Times.  I hope you're able to open the link, but if not, it's entitled "A Lesson Before Dying" by Charles Blow and it can be found in the Opinions Pages.  It is an absolute must read.

http://www.nytimes.com/2013/12/07/opinion/a-lesson-before-dying.html?src=me&ref=general&_r=0

Big Government

In the United Sates, there is always lots of talk by those on the Right, especially the Far Right, about how big our government is, and how we should strive to keep it out of our lives.

I disagree.

Here's why:

I want the government to have regulations and safety systems in place when buildings are erected.  A lack of government oversight is why the buildings in so many places around the world are death traps. Bangladesh garment factories come to mind.

I want the government to inspect the building of our homes, so we can go to sleep at night confident that the workmanship is solid and safe, from the foundation to the roof, and everything in between.

I want the government to oversee the processing and packaging of food items, so that I'm reasonably certain I'm getting what the label says I'm getting.  In many places, you buy food with your fingers crossed.

I want the government to oversee the disposal of garbage and waste, to ensure that it's properly disposed of, and to be sure that it's taken care of on a regular basis.  In Egypt and in India, it looked like mounds of garbage had been piling up on the side of the road for years.

I want the government to oversee public safety.  I want to walk around without having to watch every step for fear of falling in a pothole left uncovered, or an uneven payment that is not marked.

I want the government to ensure that all public spaces are accessible to the disabled. They should feel welcomed wherever they go, with easy access.  Of the places I've been, the US leads the pack in accessibility.

I want the government to build and take responsibility for roads and highways, so that the infrastructure is solid and reliable.

I want the government to monitor work conditions, so that safety procedures are in place and adhered to, to monitor and reduce the number of workers hurt on the job. OSHA comes to mind.

I want the government to stand ready to help in times of need.  The many natural disasters, and the government's response to them to help the people recover, comes to mind.  Remember FEMA?

This list could go on and on, but you get the idea.

One of the greatest aha moments I've had living abroad, is recognizing how much we're protected by the government in America, and how those protections greatly impact the quality of our lives.

So for all those who would prefer not to have big government in their lives, I suggest they take a moment and consider the alternative.

Then . . .

They should be thankful for what they do have.

Santa Claus

WARNING!

SPOILER ALERT!

IF YOU STILL BELIEVE IN SANTA CLAUS, STOP READING NOW!

Contrary to popular opinion, Frank and I chose to tell Ben and Frankie that Santa wasn't real, and didn't bring the gifts they found under the tree.  We told them this when they were little guys.

Our rationale?

Why lie?

Plus, no big, fat guy in the red suit and long beard was going to get credit for all of the work I/we did in buying and wrapping all the presents.

Did they miss out on a fantasy?

Yep.

Did they need counseling as a result?

Nope.  Not yet.  I don't think.

I always thought that at some point, you're gonna have to fess up and tell the truth, and then the kids would think, "What else have you lied to be about?"

So, we were the truth sayers,

Or

The Grinch personified.

Either way.

We had Merry Christmases.

Here's wishing yours are, too.

You Gotta Love This Critter, Too

Who's in charge?

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/04/monkey-crushes-leaves_n_4387659.html

You Gotta Love Cats!

Priceless!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/12/05/dogs-terrified-of-walking-past-cats_n_4276499.html

An Extraordinary Man

The world woke up today to the news that Nelson Mandala has died.  This tribute, from Mohammad Ali, is amazing.  There will be thousands of remembrances of this great man, but Ali's statement encapsulates his life perfectly.

Rest in peace Mr. Mandala.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/muhammad-ali/tribute-to-nelson-mandela_b_4340781.html

A Flying Thief

A bird steals a camera and the result is pretty amazing.

http://www.sacbee.com/2013/12/01/5962180/bird-steals-camera-in-australia.html

National Pride

National pride was on full display for the 42nd anniversary of this country.  Check out this article below, and note the pictures in the parade.  Also note, the man who owns the featured truck, owns 15 vehicles!

Only in the UAE!

http://www.thenational.ae/uae/heritage/i-have-15-cars-but-i-decided-to-bring-this-one?utm_source=Communicator&utm_medium=Email&utm_content=&utm_campaign=%5b%5bADMC_THENATIONAL_LT.ADMC_THENATIONAL_LT.LATEST_NEWS_SUBJECT%3a%3a%7b1%7d%3f%3fThe+National+Newsletter%5d%5d

Stronger Together

Whatever your political affiliation, whether you believe in unions or not, this is a powerful message.  And at 53 seconds, it's brief, too.

Side note - I think the band is from my alma mater, FAMU's Marching 100.

http://www.upworthy.com/and-now-for-your-1-minute-of-inspiration-how-change-happens?c=upw1

Thankfulness

I just read a quick article about a man describing five things he's thankful for after overcoming homelessness.

I dare you to read it and not thank God for where you are and what you have.  It may not be where you want to be, but I guarantee you're better off than most folks in the world.

It's so easy to get caught up in what we don't have, (God knows I've been guilt of that), instead of being grateful for what we do have.

Take a minute and peruse the article.

Read it.  Share it.  Remember it (especially when life gets crazy).

http://www.salon.com/2013/11/28/5_things_im_most_thankful_for_after_being_homeless/

We have so much to be thankful for.

And you . . .

You're at the top of my list.

Really?

Some fascinating science facts are linked below.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/28/science-facts_n_4344759.html?utm_hp_ref=science

I'm always amazed at the things I don't see.  Everyday things I miss.  This guy explains why, simple enough for me to get it.  It's worth a look, too.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jon-hotchkiss/be-less-stupid_b_4340736.html

Holiday Weekend

There are celebrations all around.

Of course, this is Thanksgiving weekend with the traditional feasts and the crazy shopping in the US.

This is also the anniversary of this country.  The UAE is 42 years old on Dec. 2nd.

Plus, Dubai was just awarded the 2020 Expo, and a special decree declared a day off for all schools, so we had a bonus for all of us from the US, Thanksgiving Day off.  It's a long weekend of partying for many.

Things are quiet in my neck of the woods, which I'm thoroughly enjoying after the weeks of moving. In fact, I planned a trip for this weekend, but the folks I was using to book the trip seemed a little shady, so I canceled.  I'm so glad I did.  I'll have three weeks off for the winter break, so there's plenty of time to explore.

Now back to my recurring theme -

For those of you tired of reading about forgiveness, stop now.

The holidays are a time for family get-togethers that can be wonderful, but sometimes, oh so stressful.

As much as well love our relatives, many times, the quicker the visits the better.

Remember it's better to let "stuff" roll off your back, and move on, instead of adding the latest incident to your list of things you're holding on to.

I speak from way too much experience when I say I understand because I was a master at keeping grudges and setting people straight.

I was 55 before I got it.  Don't be like me and waste all that time thinking ill will about someone or seeing how long you can keep this nonsense up.

Let it go.

Even if it means they "win."

Really, the one winning is you because you've taken the steps to make it right by being the bigger person.

Let it go.

I know I harp on this a lot, but I understand the damage it can do to yourself . . . your mental health, your physical health and your relationship with others.

It's not worth.

Really it isn't.

So . . .

Let it go.

In the spirit of Thanksgiving, I'll end this with a declaration of things I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for health and peace of mind.

I'm thankful for my amazing family and my incredible friends.

I'm thankful for the lessons I've learned and the wisdom gained.

I'm thankful for the people that come across my path, knowing now that they were/are there for a reason.

And, as always . . .

I'm thankful for you, for taking this journey with me.

You see, this has been and continues to be, so much more than living abroad and visiting new places.  It's about growing up and recognizing that the world is so much bigger than we can imagine, but also realizing people are people, no matter where they're from or what they do.  It is recognizing the part you play in the lives of others. It's about growing and stretching, not only as you explore new things, people and territories, but it's about stretching your mind, and allowing yourself to see the world from a different perspective. It really is about growing up.

Thanks for growing with me.

Happy Thanksgiving!

What a Week!

My apologies for the many days since my last post.

Two things happened in my absence from blogging - I celebrated my two year anniversary here, and I moved.

Yes . . . I moved from Al Ain to Al Sila (Abu Dhabi), about 4.5 hours away.

It's a given that moving can be challenging, but I was a lot more organized this time, so the process went a lot better.

I'm less than ten miles to the Saudi Arabia border.  More on that in a minute.

I swore the last time I moved, from Sacramento, that I would always remember the pain it was, and live lightly.

Well, it worked in theory, but I still ended up moving a truck load of stuff.

And . . . the day my things were moved, we experienced a torrential rainstorm.  The folks hadn't seen anything like this in over thirty years!  Thankfully, although most of my things got wet, the only thing damaged were two pillows, which I gladly chucked.

There is no doubt, I'm really in the desert now.  There is sand, sand, and more sand between Al Sila and Al Ain or Abu Dhabi.  I'll be about three hours from Abu Dhabi, and about four from Dubai.  I requested a transfer last year, letting the powers that be know that I didn't have a preference and would be willing to go anywhere, well "anywhere" is where I got.  This is a region that they have a hard time filling positions because it's so remote.  Typically the teachers hired are young city folks, who kick and scream about being sent here.  Teachers with families are not even considered. I don't mind the isolation, and as long as I have Internet service, I'm good to go.

So, my new adventure begins.

Now about Saudi Arabia.

This is a very insulated country.  Only Muslims are allowed to enter freely.  Everyone else goes through a rigorous visa/entry process.  As a single woman, I am not allowed entry, unless I'm traveling with a male family member and I would have to be sponsored by a Saudi male.  When I found out Ben would be working in Saudi for a week, the original plan was for me to meet him there.  Little did we know at the time that it wasn't in the realm of possibilities.

I'm closer to Qatar, and it's major city, Doha, and flying out of there would be more convenient, but in order to get to Qatar, you have to go through Saudi Arabia, so that's a no go.

Interestingly, the UAE recognizes the many benefits of welcoming the world to its doorstep, and are doing everything they can to encourage more visitors, from even more places.

Saudi Arabia, not so much.

They represent two very difference schools of thought about where they are as countries and where they see themselves in the future.

I'm spending my last night in a hotel in Al Ain.  I'm planning to get an early start tomorrow heading west.

I'll have Internet service tomorrow night, so I hope to be back in the business of writing every day or so.

For those of you still on this journey with me, thank you.

It continues to be one heck of a ride.

Ben & I in Dubai

 On Friday, Ben was in Dubai.  He had been working in Saudi Arabia for a week, and was able to get a layover in Dubai on his way back home.

What an incredible treat this was!

He got to see some of the places that make the UAE a fascinating place to see and experience.

First stop, the Mall of the Emirates, home to the indoor sky slopes.

Ben in front of the slopes

View of the mall

View of the ski slopes inside the mall

Next stop, the Big Bus Tour of the city.

Big Bus passing by Burj Arab

View of Atlantis Hotel
It sits at the top of the manmade palm tree.

This is the manmade palm tree.
It is so big, you don't realize you're on it until you get to the Atlantis.
The branches are filled with high-rise luxury condos.

Burj Khalifa - the tallest building in the world

There was still quite a bit of daylight when we finished the Big Bus Tour, so we headed to Abu Dhabi (about an hour away) to see a couple of things.

Here we are in front of Emirates Palace

Wide view of the palace

Wow!

The back opens to the water.

Ben is facing the palace.
New building construction is behind him.

We went inside the palace for a quick drink of coffee and tea.
This cappuccino is topped with edible gold flakes!

Should I drink it or scrape off the gold first?

Final stop, Sheikh Zayed Mosque, also known as the Grand Mosque.

Ben at the Grand Mosque

In the shadows at the Grand Mosque

 

Wide view of the Grand Mosque

This colonnade surrounds the Grand Mosque

I hope that you can see from the pictures what a spectacular day we had.

Thanks Ben!

Rest in Peace

Several days ago I heard about the death of a dear friend.  I sat down and wrote a post about her, had a glitch in my computer, rebooted, and lost it.

I'm of the mind that everything happens for a reason, so maybe the tribute post wasn't what it needed to be, so I will try again.  My second effort is below.

Michelle Karns was one of the smartest people I know.  She was an educational consultant who worked for, and had contracts with, schools and school districts all over the United States.

She was also a grant writer with an incredible success rate in getting grants funded.

One of the districts Michelle worked for was Sacramento City Unified School District, and specifically, my school, to help turn it around.  We were traditionally low performing.  One of the biggest issues facing us was our leadership turnaround.  We had four principals in five years.  It's hard to move forward with that kind of revolving door.

Michelle worked very closely with principal number four, who had the longest tenure of two years. Their partnership was successful, and lead to a wonderful lifelong friendship.

Michelle was also a great motivational speaker and was hired to give keynote addresses at districtwide events far and wide.  I had the pleasure of accompanying her to one in Southern California.  She had that room, filled with thousands of people, mesmerized.  She was in her element.

Michelle hired me to go on school visits with her.  She needed a second eye to confirm what she was seeing.  This was my first time walking into a school with a critical eye, looking for what was working and not working.  It was an effective precursor to my later work as a site administrator.

Health issues slowed her down.  This decline progressed to where she was confined to a wheelchair.  However, even with those limitations, she continued to work.

During my first year as principal, Michelle had a longterm hospital stay.  I would stop by to see her on my way home from work.  When my Mom was hospitalized for months, neighbors and friends would check up on her, which my brothers and I greatly appreciated because we lived so far away.  So in a small way, stopping to see Michelle was my way of paying it forward.

Many times conversations with Michelle were monologues.  She was great talking to the masses, but wasn't as comfortable one-on-one.

I would be remiss if I didn't mention her generosity.  Michelle was an author of several books and had tons of resources, many of them created by her, that she shared liberally.  She had an incredibly giving spirit.

This doesn't begin to encapsulate all who Michelle was, and all the wonderful things she did, but I hope it gives an idea of the positive impact she had on my life, and the lives of so many others.

Rest in peace, my friend.

And the Saga Continues . . .

In Richard Cohen's much talked about Washington Post column entitled, "Christie's Tea-Party Problem," he really stepped in it when wrote the following:

People with conventional views must repress a gag reflex when considering the mayor-elect of New York — a white man married to a black woman and with two biracial children. (Italics mine)

Good Lord.

The complete piece is below.  Check out the whole thing.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/richard-cohen-christies-tea-party-problem/2013/11/11/a1ffaa9c-4b05-11e3-ac54-aa84301ced81_story.html

Here are some unsolicited suggestions for Mr. Cohen:

1)  Carry a bucket around with you everywhere you go cause you're going to be gagging and upchucking a lot.  In fact, you might want to invest in puke buckets and sell them at Tea Party rallies.

2)  Take a pass on writing anything referring to race (or interracial marriage, slavery, rape, sexuality, etc.) in America.  Share the love and let someone else have a turn.  You will save yourself a lot of grief.

You see, if this was a one time thing, it would be easily forgiven and quickly forgotten.  Unfortunately, that is not the case.

Here's a hat tip to Matt Connolly, who did a terrific job of highlighting some of your more questionable columns below.

http://www.motherjones.com/mojo/2013/11/richard-cohen-just-the-worst

To be fair, you explained in the "Christie's Tea-Party Problem," that you were describing the Tea Party folks, not expressing your personal opinion.  Somehow though, there did not appear to be a distinction between your thoughts and theirs.

And therein lies the problem.

Maybe, just maybe, your thoughts and ideas, like theirs, are a tad antiquated.  Maybe you've been sequestered away and didn't realize the world was changing all around you.  And on those rare occasions when you have arisen from your self-imposed hibernation and wrote about the things you saw and experienced, it's only served to reveal how lost, and behind the times you really are.

So, what to do?

Continue writing and continue offending.

Or,

Escape from your bubble and be enlightened.

Old dogs can learn new tricks.

Even you.

A Very Special TED Talk

You know how much I like the TED Talks.  Well, that admiration was taken to a whole new level when I found out that Frankie's wife, Cara, had recorded one.

How cool is that?

It took some convincing to get her permission to post it, but I'm so glad she did.

She is the second speaker.

Bonus:  At the 11:40 mark, there's a picture of Zadie examining some veggies.

Enjoy!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bwX7edOicGM&feature=youtu.be

If you have trouble with this link, Google

"Farms could cover the city: Anastasia Cole Plakias and Cara Chard" at TEDxLongIslandCity.

Moms

For several days now, I've been thinking about my Mom, wishing that she was still around to chat with.

If your Mom is still with you, call her.

This is not about laying guilt on you, it's about reminding you how blessed you are that you can still pick up the phone and make that call.

This is not about Ben and Frankie either.  I'm grateful that I hear from them often.

It's about you.

I realize that sometimes Moms can be . . .

Overbearing,

Nosey,

Nagging,

And

An absolute pain in the neck.

But no matter what, she's your Mom.

She loves you.

So . . .

Make her day.

Give her a call.

If you already call regularly, surprise her with a card, an email, or a visit.

Let her know how much you love and appreciate her.

Mothers are givers.

It's in our nature.

For years and years, we just give and give.

Sometimes kids have to be reminded to turn the tables and give back to them.

Believe me, they're not looking for much.

All they want to know is, that you're OK.

All they want to know is, that they've raised kids that can take their place in society.

All they want to know is, that you've learned how to love.

So . . .

Stop reading.

And,

If you can,

Call your Mom.

Errors

My apologies to those who get this via email.  Once I click publish, its a done deal, going directly to you, errors and all.

Yes, I proofread, again and again, but . . .

Anyway,

For everyone else, you get the cleaned up version, where I've edited after publishing. That's assuming of course, that I can see the errors, and make the corrections.

Anyway, sorry for the screw ups.

UCLA's Diversity Problem

This video was heart wrenching.

Here you have a group of students pointing out, quite eloquently I might add, the incredibly low number of African-American male students enrolled at UCLA.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/08/ucla-black-enrollment-freshmen_n_4242213.html

The ban on Affirmative Action in college and university admissions has resulted in a marked decrease in the number of Black and Hispanic students in these institutions. Check out the article below for some more scary statistics.

http://www.psmag.com/education/affirmative-action-bans-who-gets-hurt-26955/

The whole Affirmative Action argument to ban it's use in admissions is crazy to me.

It's not for admitting students who are not qualified, but it is for broadening the scope of the criteria used when admitting students, understanding that the kids of color have, more often than not, taken different paths to reach their goals.

It is also understanding that skewed admissions have been on the books forever. Think about the students of heavy donors or legacies.  They absolutely get preferential treatment.  I'm not saying deny these folks, but understand the playing field is not, and chances are, never will be, level for them.  They will always have the upper hand.  Is anyone protesting that?  Should we?

This whole Tea Party movement came about because of some folks declaring they "want to take their country back."  Back from what or from whom?  We are a nation of immigrants, mostly voluntary, but for that select group of us with brown skin, we had the misfortune of being forcibly brought over to build this great land.

Oh, but how soon we forget.

We forget the 200 plus years of slavery.

There are those that say the debt has been paid.  We must move on.

Yes, we must move on, but the ripple effect of slavery lives on, and we are foolish to think otherwise.

Using Affirmation Action in the admission process seems to be (or have been) a small price to pay for the atrocities leveled for having the misfortune of being born with brown skin.

I thank God for my brown skin, but we must always remember the heavy burden that has been paid because of it.

Kindness in Action

If a picture is worth a thousand words, then this one is worth a thousand times more.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/06/sleeping-stranger-subway-picture_n_4228826.html

This man didn't hesitate to let this young man nod off on his shoulder.

I wonder . . .  would I have let him sleep?

Would you?

Champ in Dubai

Mike Tyson is in Dubai for his one man show, and visited a school for autistic kids.  See the article below.

http://www.thenational.ae/uae/health/dubai-pupils-smelt-iron-mikes-heart

Mike is a very interesting character.

Any man or woman who gets in the ring to beat the daylights out of their opponents takes some serious cojones, and he was one of the best at what he did.

But he's a man of contrasts.

One the one hand, he exhibited brute force in the ring, but is soft spoken.

He's explosive, but he's also kind-hearted.

I suppose any one of us could be described this way, highlighting our contradictions, but everything about Mike is out-sized, bigger than life.

His history of abusive relationships can't be ignored, neither can his ear-biting fiasco (a new low for him).

Somehow though, like George Forman before him, he's being allowed a path to redemption by showing his humanity.

It's interesting how both of these men have taken a page out of Mohammed Ali's book, learning to have fun while promoting themselves.  It's not an easy path, but it seems to be working for them.

Who can forget Mike's performance in The Hangover?  Check out his singing (it's a stretch to call it that) in the clip below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4TbnXqhHJkk

One of the first things I saw when I landed in Poland, was a huge billboard of Mike selling something.  I was too busy being surprised at seeing him, that I didn't notice what he was advertising.

He's clearly taking his show on the road.

Good for him.

Parking

If there was anyone watching the other day, I provided loads of entertainment as I circled a parking lot over and over and over again looking for a space.

It wasn't that I was trying to get a close one, there were none to be found even blocks away.  It wasn't a holiday, and there wasn't a special event going on.

When I think about it, there are two parking worlds here . . . either it's feast or famine.

There are buildings with acres of available parking, and there are others, like the post office, a place that everyone has to frequent from time to time, that are sorely lacking.

One of the issues is most buildings have multiple tenants.  The post office houses at least a half dozen other businesses, and one of them is the main health insurer.  You need to visit them to file a claim.

So, the adventure continues.

I was visiting a brand new building the other day in Abu Dhabi, that was really, really nice.  Everything about it was state of the art, everything that is, except the parking lot.  There were less than twenty parking spaces for this entire building.

Nutty.  Nutty.  Nutty.

Of course, folks quickly got creative by parking on the curbs, and double/triple parking.

But really, as much as I dislike dealing with the headache of finding parking spaces, I only have to deal with it every once in a while.  It's a routine occurrence for my guys in New York and San Francisco, which you can expect because of the vast number of people in these cities, but even in Seattle, where my nephew just moved, it is insane finding parking there, too.

Makes you want to ditch your car altogether.

"Sorry Luther (my car).  I didn't mean you."

Batman

If you're in San Francisco, or can get there on November 15, go and witness the city transform into Gotham City, through the magic of the Make-a-Wish Foundation.

Guaranteed, there won't be a dry eye in the city that day.

Check out the link for the planned escapade below.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/11/01/san-francisco-batman_n_4196585.html

Arab Marriage

I've learned a lot lately about marriage in the Arab world.

Marrying relatives is comely practiced.

The main reason is to keep the clan bloodlines pure.

Also, money matters.

If the family is wealthy, the desired outcome is to marry a relative to keep the money in the family.

There is little concern about the genetic Russian Roulette that is being played when cousins marry.

Muslim men are encouraged to marry Muslim women, but are allowed to marry anyone they choose.  Muslim women can only marry Muslim men.

Muslim men can have up to four wives simultaneously.  The only caveat is he must treat each wife equally.  For example, if he buys a car for one, he must buy a comparable car for the other(s).

In many marriages, the man and woman don't know each other, and don't get to know each until after the marriage and public wedding ceremony.  It's not uncommon for a man to propose to a woman at first sight.

The couple's families meet and agree to the terms of the marriage.  The man is required to give money to the prospective bride and her family.  He is also responsible for all the wedding expenses.

The man and woman go to the courthouse and get married by a legal representative, but they are forbidden from consummating the marriage or living together until they are presented publicly at the wedding ceremony.  This wait can be days, weeks, months, or even years, depending on whether the man has to save up to raise the required funds.  Divorces happen most often during this period.

Side note - The divorce rate here sits at about 46%.   See the article link below.  It is from 2005, but I think the info is still valid.

(http://www.khaleejtimes.com/DisplayArticle.asp?xfile=data/theuae/2005/September/theuae_September502.xml&section=theuae&col)

Side note 2 - A husband can divorce his wife by sending an SMS through a cell phone.  Note the link below for more info.

http://www.international-divorce.com/uae_divorce.htm

The wedding ceremonies are lavish.

Thousands of people are invited for a sit down meal, featuring singers and dancers.

These receptions are separate for the men and women.

The ladies wear fabulous gowns, some quite revealing, but only other women will see them.

When the groom arrives (he and the brides' male relatives are the only men allowed in), the women cover up completely.

The bride and groom then parade on a t-shaped walkway very similar to a model's runway.

And then . . .

They live happily ever after.



The songs for today are not working on the widget.  Not sure what the problem is.  Hope they work in this format.

I did a Google search for Arab Wedding Songs, and these came up as most listened to on the playlist. I'm not sure if they are especially for weddings, but they sound very much like what was playing at the wedding I attended.

file:///Users/fayesharpe/Desktop/01%20Albi%20Albi.mp3

file:///Users/fayesharpe/Desktop/08%20saharounee%20ilail.mp3

file:///Users/fayesharpe/Desktop/14%20arabeasca-6.mp3

Epic!

You all know I'm really into forgiveness, no matter what.

Sometimes though, before you can forgive, you have to get things off your chest.

Below please find an epic breakup letter that is destined to be a classic.


"Don't worry, darling. My anger won't last long. I know your life is already your punishment. A 40-year-old man of mediocre accomplishment who's incapable of true intimacy, who casually lies and cheats, who's being sued by his own aunt, who hardly has the love of his own family, who has few friends and no community to speak of, who's been living in his musty, forgotten childhood home in suburban New Jersey for almost a year, alone, at 40, who isn't even close to his ultimate dream of a book deal, who is frail, insecure, pathetic, tortured, has no moral fiber, who's dissatisfied with his career and is constantly traveling to corporate wastelands.

And then a woman comes along and tries to love him, encourage his dreams, invite him to be her "other whole," and he repays her kindness with lies, secrecy, a handful of sh*tty chocolates he probably picked up at the airport on his way home from France, an unceremonious breakup based on his own inability to get close to someone who has her sh*t together and with whom he could have a real partnership, and tops it off by having an affair with his ex the entire time — at an apartment just ten blocks away from his girlfriend's. And projects onto his girlfriend that she was the untrustworthy one. And tells her the breakup was about "something I just can't put my finger on."

This is who you are: an aging, sad, sneaky, devious man who travels from one hotel to another, putting on a face for strangers, living out of a suitcase, having no real home and no connections, lying to others, lying to himself. So I don't have to humiliate you. Your entire life is one big humiliation. And no matter how much you meditate, do yoga and undergo therapy, this will never change. This is who you are."

(Hat tip to YourTango.com and the Huffington Post)

I love her!

OK, now she should take care of herself by following that with a big dose of forgiveness, not for him, but for her, to rid herself of all the junk that tends to linger after the mess.  God knows I speak from experience.

And the songs for today are . . .


Paul Simon's "50 Ways to Leave Your Lover"

Ray Charles' "Hit the Road Jack"

Heather Headley's "Me Time"


Sending smiles and warm wishes.

New Toy = Serious Headache

I began this post a couple of days ago talking about how much I was enjoying this new toy (the music widget located on the right), and with most things I like, I wanted to share it.

Well, clearly, I have some work to do in figuring out how to work it.  Namely, I haven't mastered how to add new songs without deleting the original ones.  This is necessary because the songs won't match the message.  For example, the happy songs will show up on the solemn days, and that's not good.

So, instead of starting with happy songs, I begin with "Mercy, Mercy, Me" by Marvin Gaye.  I was thanking God for mercy in helping me to not to throw my computer out the window.  I knew the problem wasn't the computer, and that the confusion rested squarely on my shoulders.  That's what made it even more frustrating.

Side note - I've never been a fan of Marvin Gaye, and when that word got out, I came close to having to surrender my "Black" card.  The word on the street was, "How could I be Black and not like Marvin Gaye?"

But alas, I was forgiven.

OK.

We're back online, and here we go.


Side note 2 - Some housekeeping stuff.  Those of you who get this blog via email, will need to go directly to the site at www.followingfaye.blogspot.com to see and have access to the music widget.


OK.  Here we go for real now.

After the marvelous Marvin Gaye (he's growing on me), is a song from Earth, Wind, and Fire's Greatest Hits - "Shining Star."  This tune begins the album that is my theme music for cleaning house, or for getting things done.

The next one is from Gloria Gaynor - "I Will Survive."  This was my "go to" song through my divorce and other tough times, but it has become my rallying cry for the way I choose to live my life.

The third selection comes from John Boutte - "Two Bands Rolling."  Have you ever heard a happier song?  This is the same guy who did the theme music for Treme on HBO.

The final song is the bonus selection and is courtesy of Houran (thanks for sharing). The guys are called Capital Cities and the song is "Safe and Sound." These fellows are new to me.  I love their energy and they're now in heavy rotation on my iPod.

As always, thanks for taking this ride with me.

And most of all, thanks for your patience.

Smiling

I'm still pretty excited about adding music to these posts, and chose some "happy" songs for today, but changed my mind.  You'll see why.

There's a young man I see everyday, who is kind, soft-spoken, with a ready "light up the room" kind of smile.

A couple of days ago, he seemed sad.  Although his smile was still there, he eyes told a different story.  I asked him each day if he was OK, and he said that he was. I thought maybe he wasn't feeling well.  Working sick is expected.

Today he came to me and said his mother had passed away earlier this week.  I asked if he was going home to India, but he said that there was nothing he could do, so he was not.

My heart ached for him.

You never know what someone is going through.

So, in honor of my friend, I've chosen these songs:

"Let It Be" by the Beatles

"Precious Lord" by Al Green

"Blessed Assurance" by James Ingram

Blasted!

My proud moment of adding a music widget to this blog was dimmed by the blasting of my musical selections.  The blaster, who is a musician, a senior citizen, and a relative of mine, shall remain nameless. He was not at all moved by my song choices.  He completely missed the connection of the post to the music.

At first blush, I was disappointed, maybe even a little hurt.

But fear not, I'm over it and have decided to pursue my musical endeavors to the fullest.  I will spare you from being bombarded with it just by logging on.  (You can thank me later).  In order to listen to my featured musical selections, you must click on the song.

By the way, I love discovering new music.  I'd be tickled pink if you shared your favorite songs with me.

Here are my top three today:

Benise "Romanza" - I've always like the jazzy guitar sound.

Gabe Bondoc "Better" - This guy reminds me of Frankie.

Eric Benet  "Red Bone Girl" - Some tongues were wagging about this song accusing it of glorifying fair-skinned sistas.  I wasn't one of the offended.

Enjoy!

Hello 2

I did it!  I found a way to add music to this blog.  It's just a preview, still working on adding the whole song, but I'm pretty proud nonetheless.

So, I've just copied the earlier post, deleted the YouTube links and added the music player.

Enjoy!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


The way people greet each is intriguing.

Here in the UAE, the locals and other Arabs recite something when they meet each other.  What's interesting is that their responses overlap.  They're both talking at the same time, so they're not listening to the other person.  I'm not sure if they're saying the same thing, or if it's a call and response, or if the greeting changes with whoever it is they're talking to.

"Hello" is more universal than I realized.  It's used here and most of the other places I've visited.

I've mentioned before that the locals greet someone they know well by rubbing noses.  So you see guys rubbing noses, and to a lesser degree, women and children.

Men shake hands with other men, and women shake hands with other women. Women almost never shake hands with men, except if the Arab man is more familiar with Westerners, and our customs, he may offer his hand to a Western woman. Typically Arab women greet each other with kisses, several on one cheek or alternately from side to side.  It seems to differ depending on which Arab country is represented. The more kisses, the better they like you.

Greetings are important.  Time is spent saying hello.  Many a meeting has been interrupted by someone arriving, and folks stand, say hello, embrace, kiss and carry on a conversation.  It doesn't matter what was happening in the meeting.  Everything stops for this.

Side note - Bill Withers has a beautiful song called, "Hello like Before."  Check out this song and the one mentioned below the music player on the right.

Side note 2 - Don't read anything into the lyrics.  I'm not sending a subliminal message.  There's no longing for yesterday.  Speaking of yesterday though, here's another great song, first recorded by the Beatles.  I love this guy's soulful version.

Here's wishing you a wonderful day!

Hello

The way people greet each is intriguing.

Here in the UAE, the locals and other Arabs recite something when they meet each other.  What's interesting is that their responses overlap.  They're both talking at the same time, so they're not listening to the other person.  I'm not sure if they're saying the same thing, or if it's a call and response, or if the greeting changes with whoever it is they're talking to.

"Hello" is more universal than I realized.  It's used here and most of the other places I've visited.

I've mentioned before that the locals greet someone they know well by rubbing noses.  So you see guys rubbing noses, and to a lesser degree, women and children.

Men shake hands with other men, and women shake hands with other women. Women almost never shake hands with men, except if the Arab man is more familiar with Westerners, and our customs, he may offer his hand to a Western woman. Typically Arab women greet each other with kisses, several on one cheek or alternately from side to side.  It seems to differ depending on which Arab country is represented. The more kisses, the better they like you.

Greetings are important.  Time is spent saying hello.  Many a meeting has been interrupted by someone arriving, and folks stand, say hello, embrace, kiss and carry on a conversation.  It doesn't matter what was happening in the meeting.  Everything stops for this.

Side note - Bill Withers has a beautiful song called, "Hello like Before."  Check it out below.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2o3n34esf0

Side note 2 - Don't read anything into the lyrics.  I'm not sending a subliminal message.  There's no longing for yesterday.  Speaking of yesterday though, here's another great song, first recorded by the Beatles.  I love this guy's soulful version.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2By-GNvHZo (the video is not great, but I think you can see/hear the essence of this guy's talent).

Side note 3 - Anyone know how to add songs directly to a blog, please help a sista out.

Here's wishing you a wonderful day!

My Lesson for Today

Like Me

Have you ever met someone that reminds you of yourself, but not in a good way?

I met someone recently that was quite the chatterbox.  Within five minutes I knew her life story.

Please allow me to interject some pertinent information.

This lady was African-American, from the South.

Typically Black folks acknowledge each other with a nod or a quick hello, and oftentimes that turns into full fledge conversations, like we're long lost friends.  I think this happens because we generally share commonalities, and can skip over the introductions rather quickly and move into the "meat" of the conversation.

And so it was with this person.  We went from "hello" to some pretty deep stuff, faster than you can say, TMI (too much information).

But I do this, too.

Do others see me like I saw this person?

Good Lord, put a watch over my tongue.

On the flip side, I've met a lot of wonderful folks by being bold enough to strike up a conversation, but that's different . . . I think.

I love what Frankie said one time.

He noted that his father was socially awkward, and then added, that so was I.

He thought Frank was uncomfortable with small talk, but he noted that he thought I was too, because I'd ask questions, and if there was a lull in the conversation, I'd answer them, too.

OK.

Guilty as charged.

But am I also like this person mentioned above, with her drivel assault?  That's a serious accusation.

Please allow me to pause for a minute to . . .

Get into my Zen space . . . 

To breathe deeply . . . 

And think hard . . . 

OK.

I'm back.

Upon further review,

I'm probably guilty of that, too.

OK.

I'm definitely guilty of it.

And yes, my "forgiveness" button will be working overtime tonight.

I promise . . .

Beginning today, I will listen to myself when I talk, and remember what it's like when someone goes on and on, and I will just . . .

Hush.

Please note -

Self reflection is not for the faint of heart.

A Mixed Bag

Rhianna is in town for a concert, and she visited The Grand Mosque, posing for pictures.  Sounds innocent enough, right?  However, where she goes, controversy is not far behind.  The link follows.  What do you think?

http://www.thenational.ae/uae/tourism/rihanna-sparks-controversy-with-photoshoot-at-sheikh-zayed-grand-mosque

I was reminded today of the importance in being dependable.  Doing what you say you're going to do.  Going where you say you're going.  Being a man/woman of your word.  My Mom will always stand out for me in this area because when she said she was going to do something, you could take it to the bank.  It was going to happen. This was one of her life's tenets, and one that I strive to emulate.

That's it for now.

More soon.

Your blogging buddy.